See what happens when women drive? Birds die. Slowly.

Jesus, this is so much worse that I imagined.

And by worse, I mean better.

you might want to turn your speakers down a tad before playing.

Needs white people tag.

I'd feel pretty bad too, but she sort of pushes it a little far... She'd make a good Franciscan nun though.

I've seen birds get hit by vehicles all of about three times, ever. And one of those involved me and my car. I didn't pull over because 1.) it was on the highway, and 2.) I do not weep like a Niagra vagina.

This video hurt my ears.

I'd hit it

This is what I want my last moments to be.

My sister did that once. Every time she got herself together me and my dad teased her mercilessly until she started crying again. Good times.

I would like to think that if I were in the same situation I'd stoically put the bird out it's misery and then say something meaningful about the transient nature of life.

But I'd probably do the exact same thing.

I honestly would hardly notice if I hit a bird that small. I get the feeling this girl has never been "in the country" before.

If I ever go fowling again I'm doing this after I shoot a bird.

1:07 and onward is amazing.

At the very end, you can hear the girl with the camera sigh in frustration.

OH HO HO HO GAWD

This is even more absurd than starship troopers 3

This is why women should be eligible for military draft.

In Puerto Rico, the guy I was driving with hit a grackle (or something). I still remember the way it rolled up and bounced across the windshield.

I also dare anyone to drive around Hawaii for long enough and not want to really fuck up a mynah bird.

Texas Sparrow Massacre

after she screamed "im sorryyyyyyyyyyyy!" im pretty sure the bird mouthed "its cool, im just a fucking bird."

I picture that little bird as really hamming things up in bird talk. And yeah after that extra flap, her absolute freak out, and in combination with camera girls detached amusement it really kicks this into amazing.

I once hit a raccoon while getting road head. Man, was THAT awkward.

This has been my favorite video on here for at least a month. God bless you, young lady. I would love to see her hit a homeless guy.

At 0:35 I was expecting an ice cream truck to drive by.

The girls are named "Kaylee" and "Nicky". Where's the "completely unsurprising names" tag?

Oh, and I'd hit that...


...with a car!
(boy did I just throw y'all a curve or what!)

And yet I bet she eats meat all the time. This is just amazing. How do people like this make it through life?

I hit a bird with my car once, and I felt badly because I really like birds, but WOW, Kaylee. Settle down. Just crush its head and put it out of its misery. It's the right thing to do.

It broke the deal.. she shouldn't have accepted the blame for that.

Ive got a bird story. Around middle school, I nailed a bird with a shot from the worlds shittiest plastic BB-gun. It spun all the way to the ground, apparently I got it right on the joint of its wing.

My buddy Manuel who was with me at the time, went down to the creek where it landed with me and it was hopping around trying to fly, and making its wing bend in ways that completely disgusted me, and when i picked it up, also sprayed my face with blood.

We debated on whether it could live, not knowing about the whole hollow bone + fragments in the bloodstream being fatal thing, and went so far as to try both scotch tape and band-aids (for future reference they dont work so well on feathers) to hold the wing in place.

Welp, we found out not long after that wasn't going to work, so we had a one-out-of-one coin flip to determine who would put it out of its misery. I lost.

Like a retarded middle schooler, i pumped the BB up and put it to the back of the bird's head, who wasnt making any effort to move out of the way. All I succeeded in doing was making blood come out of its beak. Immediately, horrified by my failure, I tried to stomp on it. The first stomp kind of slipped over its whole body and took off ALL of the feathers on one side, making it look like exactly like a plucked chicken. My next stomp was on target, and the fifteen or so after.

It was both funny and tragic back then, and not much has changed.

I'm an animal lover, really.

Wow. She is completely fucking useless.

Someone should put her out of her misery.

I reject your reality and substitute my own.

I must have hit at least 30 birds in my life, just counting the ones I noticed as they ricocheted off my windshield. You can't really avoid them. I'll go out of my way to avoid raccoons and opossums, but birds are just random events.

Not once have I even considered turning around to try to find its mangled body. Why would you do that if you're just going to scream about it at 120 decibels?

Also, as an animal biology major, I don't think its neck was broken, I think its sternum was caved in-- birds have a large, "keeled" sternum that is very fragile. Worst case scenario, it flopped around in pain for another 15 minutes then passed out from lack of oxygen and spent its last three or four minutes in peace.

I'm going to go ahead and propose a ballot initiative to take driver licenses away from women.

Her friend is cool. She seems like she wouldnt have slowed down or even looked in the mirror - but MOTHERFUCKING CHRIST IN A BUCKET I WANT TO SMACK THE WAILING DRIVER!

So far, to my knowledge, I have never hit a mammal while driving. However, if I do, I hope that it is in a very public place and that my response is even more strident than this girl's.

I laughed my ass off at "I'M SORRY!"

I'm not the only one that minimizes the window, turns the volume way up and masturbates to her screams, am I?

Am I the only person here who's never run over a bird?