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Comment count is 64
Chizmurder - 2008-08-08

See what happens when women drive? Birds die. Slowly.

Cube - 2008-08-08

Thousands more die from the ultrasonic screeching that follows it.

Cleaner82 - 2008-08-08

Jesus, this is so much worse that I imagined.

And by worse, I mean better.

mouser - 2008-08-08

Futur boyfriend be warned: she's a screamer, not a moaner.

kennydra - 2008-08-08

you might want to turn your speakers down a tad before playing.

heyitslozeau - 2008-08-09

Im bleeding from the ears so badly i cant hear what you typed.

Adham Nu'man - 2008-08-08

Needs white people tag.

baleen - 2008-08-08

I'd feel pretty bad too, but she sort of pushes it a little far... She'd make a good Franciscan nun though.

Menudo con queso - 2008-08-08

I thought monastics were supposed to take a vow of silence or something.

For God's sake, somebody should pop the trunk, take out the tire iron, bludgeon the girl to death and take the bird to a veterinarian.

j lzrd / swift idiot - 2008-08-08

I've seen birds get hit by vehicles all of about three times, ever. And one of those involved me and my car. I didn't pull over because 1.) it was on the highway, and 2.) I do not weep like a Niagra vagina.

This video hurt my ears.

RandomFerret - 2008-09-17

I went and sought this video out today because I flattened a sparrow this morning. There was a whole host of them eating some seeds that had fallen down from the overhanging trees (it's quite a nice street, really), and as I approached, they, predictably, flew off.

I suppose one of them just got the message a little late, because it didn't take off for about half a second, and then it followed the rest. Not the brightest move, really, since it wasn't in my path at all before that. It flew right under my right front wheel. No bump at all, and only the tiniest little audible crunch.

The other sparrows returned to the road after I left. Nature is not sentimental, and the loss of one of their number meant only that the others might get one or two mouthfuls more food than before. There was nothing to mourn the bird's passing except for my own muttered farewell of "fucking sparrows."

magical man - 2008-08-08

I'd hit it

freedoom - 2008-08-08

And how!

That guy - 2011-03-05

I'd slap it.

Hugo Gorilla - 2008-08-08

This is what I want my last moments to be.

Syd Midnight - 2008-08-08

If I was mortally wounded like this bird, and the driver was all freaking out, I'd throw in a few extra gurgles and spasms just to make them feel as guilty as possible.

zatojones - 2008-08-08

My sister did that once. Every time she got herself together me and my dad teased her mercilessly until she started crying again. Good times.

Big Name Celebrity - 2008-08-21

Please forward these stars to your father.

GiantAtomicFreak - 2008-08-08

I would like to think that if I were in the same situation I'd stoically put the bird out it's misery and then say something meaningful about the transient nature of life.

But I'd probably do the exact same thing.

MagickPoultry - 2008-08-08

My wife knocked down a nest that she thought was empty, but there were three baby birds inside, which then lay silently chirping on the ground. She was a wreck, so it fell to me to stoically dispatch them with a shovel.

Then I said, "Life... it's so transient... but therein lies its beauty."

Or maybe it was something more along the lines of "Ick... I didn't think they'd explode that bloodily."

oddeye - 2008-08-08

I've had to kill and bury a few diseased rabbits that my dog managed to catch in my backyard from time to time.

It gets easier to kill anything, the more you do it.

SpookyElectric - 2008-08-08

a quick dispatch by stomp is in order here.

easier said than done though. I'm still haunted by the sick squirrel I bludgeoned to death with a bean pole when I was 10. It could have been rabies. It could have given my cat rabies. Yeah.

Syd Midnight - 2008-08-08

A friend had to shoot a mortally wounded barn kitten. She made me bury it though, which IMHO is way more depressing and upsetting.

Adham Nu'man - 2008-08-09

With the joint force of your powers, you have now all morphed into a giant weeping vagina.

Gwago - 2008-08-21

LAWL!! 5 stars for you, sir!!

petep - 2009-04-23

if i was with this girl i'd crush the bird's head under my heel and walk home. and i LOVE animals!

kennydra - 2008-08-08

I honestly would hardly notice if I hit a bird that small. I get the feeling this girl has never been "in the country" before.

Dicknuts - 2008-08-08

If I ever go fowling again I'm doing this after I shoot a bird.

Syd Midnight - 2008-08-08

I'd love to see video of that. Make sure it's a tiny sparrow or something. "OH GOD ITS STILL MOOOVIIING!"

Dicknuts - 2008-08-08

When I was about ten my younger brother and I went rabbit hunting. He shot a rabbit, but when we approached it, it was only wounded. It was kicking about, and we both basically went "OH GOD, IT'S STILL MOVING!!!!1". Six 20 gauge shotgun rounds later it wasn't.

Beyonce Knowles - 2008-08-08

1:07 and onward is amazing.

Syd Midnight - 2008-08-08

The very first frame would make the best screen capture though.

HoboTech - 2008-08-08

At the very end, you can hear the girl with the camera sigh in frustration.

Mike Tyson?! - 2008-08-08


halon - 2008-08-08

This is even more absurd than starship troopers 3

Dinkin Flicka - 2008-08-08

This is why women should be eligible for military draft.

Syd Midnight - 2008-08-08

Also so in the future you sometimes have housewives who are combat vets, and won't take shit from you at the grocery store because they're killers, also they won't take shit from teenagers.

athodyd - 2008-08-08

In Puerto Rico, the guy I was driving with hit a grackle (or something). I still remember the way it rolled up and bounced across the windshield.

I also dare anyone to drive around Hawaii for long enough and not want to really fuck up a mynah bird.

OgreMkIV - 2008-08-11

Ironically, I hit a Mynah bird on the highway right after I left Honolulu airport while visiting Hawaii years ago.

I've felt bad about it ever since up until reading this comment.

Jeff Fries - 2008-08-09

Texas Sparrow Massacre

heyitslozeau - 2008-08-09

after she screamed "im sorryyyyyyyyyyyy!" im pretty sure the bird mouthed "its cool, im just a fucking bird."

Adham Nu'man - 2008-08-09


Seris - 2008-08-10

Oh, you. You made this video worth 5 stars.

Rodents of Unusual Size - 2008-08-09

I picture that little bird as really hamming things up in bird talk. And yeah after that extra flap, her absolute freak out, and in combination with camera girls detached amusement it really kicks this into amazing.

Pacobird - 2008-08-10

I once hit a raccoon while getting road head. Man, was THAT awkward.

Twitch - 2008-08-12

This has been my favorite video on here for at least a month. God bless you, young lady. I would love to see her hit a homeless guy.

Konversekid - 2008-08-12

At 0:35 I was expecting an ice cream truck to drive by.

Nyms Lives! - 2008-08-13

The girls are named "Kaylee" and "Nicky". Where's the "completely unsurprising names" tag?

Oh, and I'd hit that...

...with a car!
(boy did I just throw y'all a curve or what!)

Anti-Pope - 2008-08-14

And yet I bet she eats meat all the time. This is just amazing. How do people like this make it through life?

frau_eva - 2008-12-24

Honestly, I'm pretty sure I could crack a chicken's neck if I had to eat it(my step-grandma still would if she weren't too old), but I'd feel awful if I hit a bird and it died for no reason. Not like this girl, but it would probably still screw up my day.

NoCode - 2008-08-15

I hit a bird with my car once, and I felt badly because I really like birds, but WOW, Kaylee. Settle down. Just crush its head and put it out of its misery. It's the right thing to do.

revdrew - 2008-08-15

It broke the deal.. she shouldn't have accepted the blame for that.

oogaBooga - 2008-08-19

Ive got a bird story. Around middle school, I nailed a bird with a shot from the worlds shittiest plastic BB-gun. It spun all the way to the ground, apparently I got it right on the joint of its wing.

My buddy Manuel who was with me at the time, went down to the creek where it landed with me and it was hopping around trying to fly, and making its wing bend in ways that completely disgusted me, and when i picked it up, also sprayed my face with blood.

We debated on whether it could live, not knowing about the whole hollow bone + fragments in the bloodstream being fatal thing, and went so far as to try both scotch tape and band-aids (for future reference they dont work so well on feathers) to hold the wing in place.

Welp, we found out not long after that wasn't going to work, so we had a one-out-of-one coin flip to determine who would put it out of its misery. I lost.

Like a retarded middle schooler, i pumped the BB up and put it to the back of the bird's head, who wasnt making any effort to move out of the way. All I succeeded in doing was making blood come out of its beak. Immediately, horrified by my failure, I tried to stomp on it. The first stomp kind of slipped over its whole body and took off ALL of the feathers on one side, making it look like exactly like a plucked chicken. My next stomp was on target, and the fifteen or so after.

It was both funny and tragic back then, and not much has changed.

I'm an animal lover, really.

commandocucumber - 2008-08-20

your last phrase rockets this video into the abso-fucking-lutly amazing

Gwago - 2008-08-21

Wow. She is completely fucking useless.

ihounokyaku - 2008-08-21

Someone should put her out of her misery.

And Then Explosions - 2008-09-09

I reject your reality and substitute my own.

bopeton - 2008-09-26

I must have hit at least 30 birds in my life, just counting the ones I noticed as they ricocheted off my windshield. You can't really avoid them. I'll go out of my way to avoid raccoons and opossums, but birds are just random events.

Not once have I even considered turning around to try to find its mangled body. Why would you do that if you're just going to scream about it at 120 decibels?

Also, as an animal biology major, I don't think its neck was broken, I think its sternum was caved in-- birds have a large, "keeled" sternum that is very fragile. Worst case scenario, it flopped around in pain for another 15 minutes then passed out from lack of oxygen and spent its last three or four minutes in peace.

I'm going to go ahead and propose a ballot initiative to take driver licenses away from women.

Ouroboros - 2010-05-25

During a long road trip we ended up with, in total, maybe a half-dozen birds literally stuck in the grill of our van. I won't disagree that it was decidely unpleasant but really.

oogaBooga - 2009-01-25

Her friend is cool. She seems like she wouldnt have slowed down or even looked in the mirror - but MOTHERFUCKING CHRIST IN A BUCKET I WANT TO SMACK THE WAILING DRIVER!

Lauritz Melchior - 2009-02-03

So far, to my knowledge, I have never hit a mammal while driving. However, if I do, I hope that it is in a very public place and that my response is even more strident than this girl's.

tamago - 2010-02-12

I laughed my ass off at "I'M SORRY!"

Kojack13 - 2010-02-13

I'm not the only one that minimizes the window, turns the volume way up and masturbates to her screams, am I?

Mister Yuck - 2013-08-09

Am I the only person here who's never run over a bird?

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