"We're going to get you on TV Jimmy, ya hear? Now let's think of something you showed a passing interest in five years ago."
|Doctor Frederick Odd |
Well, that's odd what
"Solid waste beanie"
"He showed me all the cool devices. I almost smiled once when I wasn't drowsily nodding off."
Sad, but honestly, the Krauthammer legacy really had to peak around the late 1930s.
|C. Eloi Marx |
I love how it's "Driver of the Year" instead of "Garbageman of the Year".
How is this newsworthy?
The mother in this story is to be commended for teaching her son to set attainable goals.
Young sleepy Joel Hodgeson and made-for-tv mom starr in a story so real it's gotta be true
Man he seems really excited.
Drive the shit out of those things, Jameson!
|j lzrd / swift idiot |
But Phillipe, garbage has germs!
It's Sanitation Engineer, assholes.
Holy shit, I totally wrote a little thing about a kid like this about two years ago
Trevor wanted to be a garbage man from a very early age. It was his ultimate dream.
"Go away, kid," the garbage men would say whenever he'd accost them. "Trust us, you don't want our job. You'll always stink and you'll get maggots in your hair."
Trevor sighed. This is what comes of not having passion, he'd think. If he were a garbage man, he'd do it better. He'd be the greatest garbage man ever. He'd become rich and famous and appear on talk shows.
He'd be offered the role of landfill foreman in just a few months of starting, but he'd humbly turn it down. "Oh, I don't want that job," he'd say with consummate graciousness, "I'm happy merely doing what I do now. I'm happy serving the public and cleaning up for them. It's not for everyone, but it's perfect for me."
He'd appear in magazines, too, and speak out against environmentalism. "Who needs recycling?" He'd ask, "Not us. Too much of a hassle. Just throw your things away and we'll take care of the rest."
Trevor never got his dream job. But during long and tedious board meetings, when his underlings would give him the quarterly reports and tell him what a great improvement he was over the previous CEO, who embezzled billions, he'd stare wistfully out of the skyscraper's window -- to the trash cans below.
That's where I belong.
And when he was shredding and disposing of incriminating documents, he made sure to throw in some banana peels, some paper cups, and a stale sandwich, just for the noble men who had acheived what he simply could not.
|Gamara II |
Fresno, yup. That really explains everything in this video.
"The best part was a ride around the block."
"Jameson Krauthammer- Future Garbageman"
CNN doesn't think he can become a fireman or doctorman.
|Dinky Patterson |
Dr. Krauthammer is gonna have one helluva bedside manner.
My pediatric doctor was a Krauthammer! He diagnosed my depression!
|Rodents of Unusual Size |
I laughed I nearly cried at FUTURE GARBAGEMAN
I can't believe no one else has mentioned:
"Solid Waste Beanie"
|Big Muddy |
After the truck ride I envision a little Mexican dude striding up and asking point blank, "Ju ever see a landfill homie?". As the boy dons a white mask and awkwardly sits next to the swarthy gentleman behind the controls he sullenly guides the dozer over the mass of reeking filth. He then becomes a man. Dispair forever lingers.
|Testicles of Doom |
A Hammer made of Krauts?
That.... is for picking up the garbage cans quicker.
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