ProfessorChaos 
Vladimir Nabacock
Jonathan Swifstroke
JRR Strokin
The Rapid fire nature of so many twisted literary names is what makes this.
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sheikurbouti
This is stupid. I laughed and laughed.
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Chalkdust
Ralph Waldo Humperson!
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giygusattack
I'm glad everything turned out alright for him in the end.
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Camonk
Hans Fistin' Andersen.
His life really looks like it's on the upswing, after that rough patch there.
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fluffy
I love this view of the distant future Internet where everything is voice-based and every possible screen name has been taken probably by people from the past five hundred years.
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halon
Those names are silly.
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AgentOrange
Awesome.
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socialist_hentai
It's so hard to get a whore in the 21st century...
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Thundercougarfalconbird
William S. Butthole.
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Operation Cornflakes
He missed Henry Longfellow.
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TeflonDoc
Charles Fuckowski
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biclops
E. E. I'm Cummings
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Rodents of Unusual Size
JRR Strokin
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robotkarateman
This would've been funnier if he were trying to sign up for AIM.
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tak_a_je_to
He looks a bit like Ralph Fiennes.
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citrusmirakel
Props to Severian for finding this.
Additional props to Boots Reingear for re-finding this, and exposing us all to it during Team Fortress 2.
Helpful hint: Don't watch the screen. It's better without.
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Big Muddy
Harriet Felcher Stowe bumps this to 5*'s.
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Chinballs
Brilliant!
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