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Desc:Yahtzee reviews Bionic Commando: Rearmed, Castle Crashers, and the retro games in general.
Category:Video Games, Educational
Tags:nostalgia, Castle Crashers, zero punctuation, Yahtzee, bionic commando
Submitted:Caminante Nocturno
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Comment count is 33
buttnutt - 2008-09-24
That last line.
StanleyPain - 2008-09-24

If you're going to trash the retro-trend of casual arcade games (which is pretty dumb anyway considering that's the point of the arcade style distribution and the lower price point) you don't pick what are unquestionably two of the BEST titles to come out of that scene in recent memory. I'm sorry but, despite their flaws, BCA and Castle Crashers are probably the most solid XBLA titles of the last few months. Nothing about the litany of horrible arcade ports with shitty features, glitched out gameplay, and weak multiplayer?
If that isn't rose-tinting crap in the glasses of nostalgia, I don't know what is.

Seriously, this is just trying to talk shit about popular games to troll. And it's sad because I like this guy most of the time; I think what he does is funny and more power to him if he gets paid doing it, but it's not like you have look hard and do weeks of research to find shitty games to trash.
dancingshadow - 2008-09-24
Yep... He's really reaching... BC:RA, Castle crashers + Braid were the funnest games I've played this year exactly because of why he berates them.

Fecund - 2008-09-24
Yeah, the lives system in Bionic Commando is still really super fun, and the best parts of Castle Crashers are when you miss enemies that are on a slightly different plane or when you are obscured entirely by the boss.

Also, why isn't he using his once-weekly five-minute show to talk about significantly less popular games? This is an outrage!

StanleyPain - 2008-09-24
There are actually no moments in CC where you are obscured by a boss, unless you've never played a 2-D video game before and are utterly bewildered and confused by moving around an avatar on the screen with a controller and don't play games ever. It can be tricky spotting yourself in the arenas where there's dozens and dozens of enemies on screen, especially if your character IS one of the enemies, but in all seriousness, that's an entirely made-up complaint. If you have problems playing CC, then you've always had major problems playing every single 2-D scrolling beat-em-up ever made. Same with the 2-D plane thing pretty much.

Fecund - 2008-09-24
Yeah, those problems that are in all games of this type are in this new game of the same type. Why didn't Yahtzee talk about that at all?

CharlesSmith - 2008-09-24
BAAAW! It's all fun and games until he makes fun of something I liked BAAAW!

RockBolt - 2008-09-24
Sore spot there, stanley?

sosage - 2008-09-25
POECustomer Review:

Now you have the rose tinted glasses on. The boss battles were filled with instances where you lost track of your character just for slipping behind the boss sprite. No. Old school 2D games did not do this on a regular basis. Good 2D games do not have you lose your character to something in the foreground and not at least have some kind of icon to indicate where you are.

CC is a fun game and a huge step up from Alien Hominid (which had a ton of basic gameplay issues imo). It still has issues. One lesson they need to learn before their next title is how to make main characters recognizable from foreground/background objects. There were times where losing my character because he was the same shade/hue as the background was intentional and humorous (garbage scene), but there were more times where it was irritating and poorly thought out. The other lesson is...stop putting things in the fucking foreground. Why are you blocking the action?

8 out of 10
3 out of 5
3 cherries and 1 lemon
Not bad, but not excellent

Xenocide - 2008-09-25
I'm thinking Yahtzee never got into this whole video game thing until the PS1 era, because there's no way anyone with any sort of experience in 2D would be stymied by 2D planes so easily. You line your guy up with the enemy and you stab him. It's not hard.

The complaint about losing track of your character in big crowds is valid, though.

Hooker - 2008-09-25
Five for more Yahtzee insulted my favourite game bawling.

Chalkdust - 2011-03-31
how is 3 out of 5 equivalent to 8 out of 10?

charmlessman - 2008-09-24
He has a valid point there.

I spent an inordinate amount of time, effort and money on eBay getting myself an Intellivision just so I could play Tron Deadly Discs again. I got it, plugged it in, played for about 10 minutes and put it down... about 4 years ago.
Camonk - 2008-09-24
I'm gonna give this five stars because it's good.

Also because I never understood liking games made eighty hundred years ago. Guys, the original Mario games suck!
waxeater - 2008-09-24
Mario 3 rules, and it holds up a hell of a lot better than these increasingly boring Yahtzee videos.

Harveyjames - 2008-09-24
Mario 1 is excellent too! And World! Also a whole bunch of the others.

Xenocide - 2008-09-25
The only main-series Mario game that isn't a goddamn masterpiece is Sunshine. And Sunshine is pretty good, too.

yoyo1 - 2008-09-24
Ironic considering Yathzee's own games
IrishWhiskey - 2008-09-24
Stars aren't for disagreement, just complete lack of laughter. Kids are stupid, you're stupid, blah blah blah.
robotkarateman - 2008-09-24
I really want to give this one stars because at least to losers have already jumped up to defend the games he's insulted, but I really can't. It's jut not funny.

Also, I realize it's a difficult concept to grasp, but if Yahtzee is reviewing a game, he's probably not going to say nice things about it. Defending your favorite game is like defending your favorite movie against MST3k.
Wonko the Sane - 2008-09-24
5 stars for the all the salty fan-boy tears
UnderANeonHalo - 2008-09-24
I hate to 3 star yahtzee because he has made me laugh quite a bit but this seemed really weak. As far as CC goes, it's fun but I'll play my flash games for free online. BC:RA is as craptacular to control as the original but it is what it is, a hype engine for the new BC game.
Monchiles Monchiles - 2008-09-24
I'm slowly beginning to forget why I liked this guy... I remember when he used to talk about how he used to talk about things that legitimately sucked in games like that forced-button-pressing-combo-during-cut-scene things.
AgentOrange - 2008-09-25
Now those are some fuckin' tags! 3 for that!
Caminante Nocturno - 2008-09-25
You're making me blush!

jyrque - 2008-09-25
I don't remember having the problem of slashing past enemies in Golden Axe or any 16-bit era scrolling beat'em'ups because I wasn't standing in the right place. Either Castle Crashers really mucked it up (I played the demo and was annoyed by the same thing) or it made more sense when you were six.
Xenocide - 2008-09-25
One of his weakest efforts ever. Seems like he's trying to drum up fanboy rage this week, and while he'll certainly get it, that's not going to entertain anyone but him.

RomancingTrain - 2008-09-25
It's a shame that he had to apologize for the Hitler quip 1 second after making it. I'd love to see if he'll get more hate mail for lightly insulting videogames than agreeing with the most hated man in the world.
notbob - 2008-09-25
He's absolutely right. I had absolutely no fun playing Bionic Commando, and Castle Crashers? It's just any old beat-em up with a new skin. I'm sure there somewhere out there you can play Ninja Turtles for free instead of spending 10 bucks on that.

Why was Braid good, despite the obligatory "I'm too cool for what everybody else likes" backlash? It was doing something new and moving forward.

Why are these two games a waste of time? Because they are doing something that has been done 10000 times before, and most likely much better by someone else.
remag2117 - 2008-09-25
Much as the older generation of gaming from the Atari/486 PC/NES/SNES days are to the newer generation of gaming, so to are Yahtzee older reviews to this newer content.

Substance, originality, and creativity seem to wane with each iteration.

Certainly understandable (given that he's spitting out one of these every month), but true nevertheless.
B. Weed - 2008-09-25
Isn't it more like 4 of these every month?

Pillager - 2008-09-27
Bah to the haters.

I'm not one starring Yahtzee until he slags Fallout 3.

Xiphias - 2008-10-15
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