This Video - Blender + My Penis = FIVE STARS!!

What. Why.

Five stars for the description. Goddamn that would rule.

One's the daughter of a European aristocrat, lost in the Belgian Congo as a child and raised by a pride of lions. The other is the world's first sentient computer, smuggled out of NSA headquarters as a blender by his creator, who was then assassinated before he could upload his creation's programming to a more suitable vessel. They fight crime!

I would like to see this operated by a dog who thinks the blender is a rival.

Okay, NOW I'm bitter about my version not making it through the hopper.

But can it blend cubic zirconium, pens, and glow sticks.

The human speaks the language of the blender.