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Children's Ministry
Desc:I have a lot of years to multiply, so I am a great investment.
Category:Horror, Religious
Tags:children, Christian, teleprompter, investment, putting my faith into action
Submitted:whensaidthemoon
Date:11/08/08
Views:1350
Rating:
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Caminante Nocturno
Children are easier to train. With your help, we can make this damage irreversible by the time they hit 13.
Konversekid
I wish they all had been aborted!
Ashenblade
Did they really just admit to trying to brainwash children using baked Goldfish crackers? Please tell me that's just a really obscure metaphor for Jesus, or eternal life, or something not completely fucking evil. Someone restore my faith in humanity.
Caminante Nocturno
It's actually both.

TheDevil'sWhore
When I was in a Catholic after school program, they actually made us eat goldfish crackers while practicing for our First Eucharist. They did not have their brainwashing to the level that this church does though.

I really love how the kids are obviously just repeating lines that they have been fed.

UnderANeonHalo
Maybe I should abandon my heathen ways, I didn't know they have goldfish.

fermun
Dang! Satan only offers me 1000 goldfish daily. This is not nearly enough.

wtf japan
Those are some children only Jesus would suffer to come unto him.
whensaidthemoon
"Serving helps me grow in my relationship with god"
Camonk
If I'm on the fence about this whole jesus, ministry, indoctrinating children thing, do you REALLY want me if goldfish crackers is my tipping point?
Hooper_X
1: That kid with the buzzcut and the polo shirt buttoned all the way up already wants to be a sniper when he grows up. I can tell.

2: The only kid in the video that actually looks happy is the UNLIMITED GOLDFISH one.
Uulanbaatorbaby
None of those children seem to know or care what they are saying. Except the goldfish one, he sure as hell knows.
Deplorable
It was painful to watch, but I stuck through it to see the goldfish.
kingarthur
"We don't yet have the ability to reason for ourselves and will pretty much blindly follow anything our parents decide to indoctrinate us into! Yaaaaaayyyy!"
SpookyElectric
the Great Investment kid perfectly embodies the essence of a victim in a jihadi hostage video
whensaidthemoon
The map of the Middle East clinches it.

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