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Desc:Uses Authentic Hebrew translation and Metallica to demonstrate.
Category:News & Politics, Religious
Tags:Bible, satan, Barack Obama
Submitted:Space Helicopter
Date:11/12/08
Views:18357
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Comment count is 24
Rabid Vegan - 2008-11-12
2/3 of the wolrd will burn

the myan calendar

METALLICA! RAAAAWK!!!
Dinkin Flicka - 2008-11-13
AND his name is spelled Barack! Stick that in your pipe, wolrd!

IrishWhiskey - 2008-11-12
I was skeptical until "wolrd"

Also you can't use Metallica to sell fear anymore. Not since that sobfest documentary.
SenilePlacebo - 2008-11-12
Actually, to be honest, not since they wrote out "Unforgiven II" into the lyrics of Unforgiven II... actually not since that entire wretched album.

Blast them.

dr_mr_vandertramps - 2008-11-12
when bush was in power, these fuckos were practically jerking off over the impending apocalypse. now they're pissed all of a sudden?
dr_mr_vandertramps - 2008-11-12
i am aware that bush is still in power. you know what i meant.
IrishWhiskey - 2008-11-12
No, its accurate. He's in office, but certainly not in power.

Also, were you touched inappropriately as a child by capital letters?

dr_mr_vandertramps - 2008-11-12
Man, too many online mores to consider. Forum A: Capitalization a-ok. Forum B: Capitalization "trying too hard". Can't keep them straight in ol' Duder's head!

NoCode - 2008-11-12
"I beheld satan fall as lighting from heaven."

What kind of lighting do you suppose Heaven uses? Strip? Mood?
TeenerTot - 2008-11-12
Something really diffused. Like they use for The View.

Xiphias - 2008-11-12
barack hussein obama is hebrew for "I am gonna fuck up your shit"


CONGRATS AMERICA YOU JUST ELECTED THE ANTI-CHRIST, GOOD GAME


(TAINTED MISERY)
racetraitor - 2008-11-12
Shouldn't he be GLAD Obama is the anti-Christ? Doesn't that mean all good Christians get poofed into heaven?
SenilePlacebo - 2008-11-12
Everyone's a winner.


takewithfood - 2008-11-12
I guess I'll have a coke.

SenilePlacebo - 2008-11-12
Hmm? A Christian quoting the Mayan calendar?

But where they not dirty, filthy, savage pagans that had to be crushed under the loving yoke of Christianity (and Mel Gibson's choose-your-own-adventure pastiche)?

Eh, but I 'spose that as long as it backs up your point, it don't matter where ya gets yer grits.

(Oh, ohhh... yes, yes... I am aware that The Mayan Culture was technically over by the time Córdoba came knocking, but the descendants at the time were still technically Mayans following the Mayan tradition, but only mightier... they were called the Mighty Myans, and they had no effeminate need of extra vowels.)
Camonk - 2008-11-12
Oh no, because it mentions the apocalypse it's way cool to be into the Mayan calendar. Plus, all you gotta know is fuckin' 2012.

seriouslyuguys - 2008-11-12
I'm no Hebrew scholar, but translation.babylon.com gives 'lightning from heaven' as: ברק משמיים. Furthermore http://www.jewfaq.org/alephbet.htm says that's: 'syymshm qrb'; I may have misread some of the characters, but that's not even close. Barak O Bama apparently would look something like 'באראך ו באמא' which translation.babylon.com says is 'After desolation Jerusalem ) by the year of 70 Lsph"n (, inherited from floor Yavne and the wise of her'. So, clearly we have nothing to worry about until Jerusalem is desolate in 2070, and even then we will have to look out for the wisdom of a woman named Yavne or perhaps her offspring, not the current administration.
kelpfoot - 2008-11-12
> I'm no Hebrew scholar,

It doesn't matter. The Gospel of Luke wasn't written in Hebrew.

That guy is either lying or gullible. In either case he's stupid.

halon - 2008-11-12
Well, I'm convinced!
kelpfoot - 2008-11-12
OK, so you probably don't need me to tell you this, but this guy is full of shit. He claims Luke 10:18 is, "in Hebrew," BARAK O BAMA. Being a grade school drop-out, he is too fucking stupid to know that Luke is a Gospel from the New Testament, and was originally written in GREEK. Here's what it actually says:

eipen de autoiv, Eqewroun ton Satanan wv astraphn ek tou ouranou pesonta

(As always, leave it up to the atheists to actually read the fucking Bible.)
wtf japan - 2008-11-12
Don't tell that to the Assyrians.

Ruteger - 2008-11-13
So, let me get this straight. 2/3rds of the world will burn during this apocalypse and 1/3rd of the best Christians will go straight to heaven?

That's funny because the total number of Christians belonging to standard Christian religions totals less than 1/3rd of the world's population.

Those Catholics are going to be pissed when they find out God let in all the Jehovah's Witnesses and Mormans as well to fill his quota.
UnderANeonHalo - 2008-11-13
DO NOT QUESTION GOD'S MATH! Seriously, he'll throw a barak at you obama!

dancingshadow - 2008-11-13
Cats and dogs living together... Mass OBAMA !
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