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Category:Video Games, Humor
Tags:zero punctuation, Yahtzee, EA, Mirrors Edge, fecal waterslide
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Comment count is 24
He's dead wrong about it being a terrible game, but dead right about it being a huge disappointment and that you're better off just replaying the demo over and over.

I find it helps to play the demo, then drink until you blackout and forget it. Repeat 16 times and thats an improved experience to playing the whole game.
Exactly. If I can save anyone else from wasting their money on this game, my life will have served a purpose. So DONT DO IT.

I can go and talk to kids in classrooms like those dudes who drank so much their livers exploded

Caminante Nocturno
Hop to it shiteyes.
Big Beef Burritos Supreme
Is that you, dear?
j lzrd / swift idiot
Listening to it without the video, then with the video suggests he's not up to snuff, so minus one for that.

I dont like people who dont like games I kinda like.
Bullet kerplunk
after trying the demo like 3 times I wore myself out on the format and gameplay, glad I didn't buy it
"Make sure to watch the trailer at the end of the video!"

Fuck that noise.

This game is awesome but not 60 dollars awesome. I`ll get it when the price drops.
Also, spiritual 5 stars for saying the game is a step in the right direction in terms of doing new stuff even though he didn`t like it.

Syd Midnight
+5 for Jesus farting diamonds as his artistic representation of "a good combination". And holding a beer and a toilet brush for some reason, but hey, like that would detract from diamond-farting Jesus.

I'm glad that somebody agrees with me that basing a game about the absolute worst part of any other first-person game is a poor idea.
So he did

And then he ate his own shoooooooes.
He could stand to scale back on the fecal metaphors.
"...An eight hour fecal waterslide."
Goethe and ernie
I'm post-ZP now, he stopped being entertaining in March or something.
You're post-fun and pre-douche.

The games are art crowd aren't going to like this.
Games endeavoring to be high art are held to a higher standard -- not only must they be meaningful in an artistic sense, but they still have to not suck.

After playing the demo a few times I too came to the conclusion that while a neat concept this game is going to bloooooooooooooooooooooow.

5 stars for urethral electrocution.
It's possible to do good platforming in an FPS, it's just extremely rare. See: Metroid Prime series.
Spider Jerusalem
Good review, but I wouldn't object if he cut down on the homophobic jokes. He probably doesn't intend them maliciously, but it's a bad example for an already extremely homophobic community.

(yes, yes, I know...)
Grace Mugabe
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