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Desc:Yahtzee reviews the new Sonic title in order to unwind during this stressful Christmas period
Category:Video Games, Cartoons & Animation
Tags:Sega, Sonic, zero punctuation, Yahtzee, sonic unleashed
Submitted:RockBolt
Date:12/17/08
Views:4016
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Comment count is 32
Dib - 2008-12-17
I like Ben when he hates the game series that I hate. Even though he seems to be under this unfortunate brainwashing that the Sonic series was ever good, and/or the Sonic Team have ever produced anything worth playing.
mr666 - 2008-12-17
Sonic was good once upon a time. It has just been buried under so much shit that it's getting harder and harder to remember.

Xenocide - 2008-12-17
The Genesis-era Sonic games were great. After that, you may as well consider the series over.

Monchiles Monchiles - 2008-12-17
I liked Sonic Adventure Battle 2 for the Gamecube.

StanleyPain - 2008-12-17
I'm one of the few people who actually thought Sonic Adventure was pretty awesome. I thought the mixture of the adventure portions and action stages was pretty well done and, overall, it worked despite lacking some of the traditional Sonic elements. I also dug how you could replay previous levels as different characters with different goals.
Then Sonic Adventure 2 pissed it all down the damn drain in a spectacular way. That was the death knell. Everything since has just been various re-renderings of their tombstone.

sosage - 2008-12-17
Sonic 1
Sonic 2
Sonic 3
Sonic CD
Chu Chu Rocket
Phantasy Star Online (original)

If you were born in 2002, I could see your point.

notbob - 2008-12-17
Phantasy Star Online? I suppose you like grinding rocks together for hours as well?

buttnutt - 2008-12-17
That's some serious trolling right there.

Princess v2.1 - 2008-12-17
Sonic Advance 2 is all kinds of crazy awesome

IrishWhiskey - 2008-12-18
SEGA still hasn't learned from SA2 that fetch quests and awkward, disconnected overworlds are a bad idea. And in fact the 'werehog combat' seems descended from the Tails/Robotnik combat.

So basically the new Sonic games are just like the ones 10 years ago, only without the good parts.

Grace Mugabe - 2008-12-18
The megadrive ones were shit as well. They all had the trial and error gameplay Yahtzee points out.

mr666 - 2008-12-17
So, he liked it then?
dichotic1 - 2008-12-17
WOW. I got scared there for a moment -- he was really getting worked up over this.
heyitslozeau - 2008-12-17
nothing scarier than someone getting worked up over something huh?

Dinkin Flicka - 2008-12-17
Well, when it's a chainsaw wielding, cannibalistic, Stallone-loving, inbred redneck that is getting worked up over how I molested his little girl, then yes. There is nothing scarier.

Pillager - 2008-12-17
Holy shit.

That was the most venomous Yahtzee review I've seen since The Darkness.


Cleaner82 - 2008-12-17
Ow, ow, OW! Oh my god, that one hurt so good.
zatojones - 2008-12-17
All that anger and he didn't even mention the creepy fandom surrounding Sonic
Xenocide - 2008-12-17
Too easy.

Dib - 2008-12-18
No, not too easy because that is the only reason Sonic still exists. Sonic is to furrydom what stage theatre is to homosexuality. The two are inextricably joined for the rest of time, and even getting a little interested over a Sonic game is a sure indication that you want to fuck a cartoon DD breasted dog with a hermaphrodite cock.

undead_milkman - 2008-12-17
Yes. Right between the eyes. That whole franchise does things to people. Bad things.
chumbucket - 2008-12-17
thanks, sonic sucks ass and this review just reinforces that fact
thebaronsdoctor - 2008-12-17
This, due mainly to Yahtzee's incredibly frothing hatred, is probably the funniest review in a long long time.
Caminante Nocturno - 2008-12-17
Yahtzee spat enough venom in this review to kill three full-grown bears.
Merzbau - 2008-12-17
WATASHI WASHI BASHI BOSHI
CornOnTheCabre - 2008-12-17
starting at 4:08, i could tangibly FEEL his rage without having played a Sonic game since the 90s
a flaming monkey - 2008-12-18
Angry nerds who like video games are indeed very dangerous.

Syd Midnight - 2008-12-18
Some of his best reviews are games that he liked, but he truly is best when he's frothing at the mouth.

Big Beef Burritos Supreme - 2008-12-17
Like a ROM hack made by HITLER
theSnake - 2008-12-18
This was one of his better ones.
MerryMisanthrope - 2008-12-18
5 for comparing Sonic to INXS. Utter brilliance.
IrishWhiskey - 2008-12-18
Dear Yahtzee,
PLEASE do not suggest using Sonic's stuffed corpse as an adventurous sex aid. You are only encouraging them/causing more fanfiction.

I think this was one of his best ones yet.
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