Most of us = Andy Rooney
Some people = Not Andy Rooney

Bonus close up of said hairy Rooney wrist. *shudder*

It seems appropriate that this video was recorded by someone pointing a camera at a television.

A watch is the only jewelry that reminds you of your impending death.

"Why in my day, sundials told the time plenty well without all of these geegaws and such."

"I remember when they invented numbers. I thought that numbers were pretty great. Why didn't CBS spend some extra money and get me a watch with numbers on it?"

You know, I've been thinking. What's up with oatmeal? It's got oats in it, sure, but is it really a meal? I enjoy oatmeal, I just think we should call it something different, so it wouldn't confuse all of us who eat it. To all the oatmeal producers out there, try to come up with a better name for your product.

Whoever is out there nodding along with Rooney going yeah SHIT YEAH this guy is RIGHT watches are BULLSHIT! is a moron.

Andy Rooney, who I assume is rather wealthy, gives fucking horrible presents.

What is he even complaining about? The wide selection of watches on the market? Why don't we just nationalize the watch industry to keep this unbridled variety under control. I nominate Andy Rooney as the Secretary of Timepieces.

5 extra stars for the guy who always chuckles like "I can't believe that old bastard is still on TV" at the end.

I think my brother has a pocket watch.
Take THAT Andy!

If Andy Rooney had Alzheimer's would anyone notice?

I'm still searching my house for that damned drawer filled with half-a-dozen watches.