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Desc:For the next time you need to smash a cow skull.
Category:Humor, Horror
Tags:fatties, cold steel, war hammer, lynn thompson, Y chromosome
Submitted:imairlax
Date:01/03/09
Views:2313
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Comment count is 30
Blaise - 2009-01-03
Don't see that on QVC.
Caminante Nocturno - 2009-01-03
I wonder what images go through his head when he's beating that skinned cow head.
HankFinch - 2009-01-03
Anger
Pain
Fear
Aggression

Infamous - 2009-01-03
Five stars for HankFinch's comment.

You guys need to see Spaced.

CornOnTheCabre - 2009-01-03
a hammer? THAT CAN SMASH THROUGH WATERMELONS?!

this is the sort of thing that can start a revolution.
Udderdude - 2009-01-03
Step 1. Advertise a weapon as a "Warhammer" to be used against "An opponent"
Step 2. Someone uses it as a murder weapon.
Step 3. ???
Step 4. Profit!
petep - 2009-01-03
couldn't you have posted this before christmas?
SolRo - 2009-01-03
it starts out like an ad for xtreme larpers ('opponent can't chop off the mace head') and gets progressivly more and more irrelivant with its examples.
Hugo Gorilla - 2009-01-03
Ghal-Maraz, the Hammer of Sigmar!
dr_rock - 2009-01-03
*** Winner: King Nerd Award ***

(I get runner up for getting the reference)

Daymage - 2009-01-03
The website uses phrases like "urban jungle." But also has a joke of the day!
ProfessorChaos - 2009-01-03
Sledge-o-matic!
Rabid Vegan - 2009-01-03
Buy a warhammer! You won't regret it!
CornOnTheCabre - 2009-01-03
bulbed

Syd Midnight - 2009-01-03
Car door warfare has taken a quantum leap forward.
Camonk - 2009-01-03
Well I was thinking about the big guys in Fallout 3 who have car-door shields. That hammer would really mess up their shields.

Not as well as the Fat Man does, though.

imairlax - 2009-01-03
if you guys have never seen this dvd, it's hours of bizarre and delightful entertainment. you get to see their portly CEO there smash all sorts of things, if you go to cold steel dot com they'll send you a copy for free (if you live in the US...canadians pay and do not pass go).

tragically they hadn't posted my other favorite video demo wherein he slices trash cans full of water in half with a greatsword.
lucienpsinger - 2009-01-03
And if you do get this DVD, don't just pop it in, hit "play all" and expect to just sit there until it's over. We gave up after about two hours, and upon revisiting the main menu found we were about a third of the way through it.

It's great watching big, beefy dudes attacking meat-filled sleeves and pant legs with knives, though.

imairlax - 2009-01-03
we made a drinking game out of it, every time meat is cut drink once, cardboard twice, etc.

and i won't lie, the video did end up selling me one knife! the x2 voyager, which i'll try to find and post, because they slice a rack of ribs in half with it

chumbucket - 2009-01-03
+4 hp damage modifier when used by dwarves (+8 if rolls 1 on 1d6 for natural crotch hit)
Geoff Marr - 2009-01-03
Thats what my girlfriends car requires
zatojones - 2009-01-03
i love the after-smash pose he does every time he's done a demo. it screams "I AM CONAN MOTHERFUCKERS"
Baby Finster - 2009-01-03
He is selling this to a nation that has cheap and easy access to all manner of firearms. It's quaint.
Hooper_X - 2009-01-03
Yeah, but see how it got lodged in the cow skull? The other zombies would be ass-deep in your neck by the time you got it loose again.
TeflonDoc - 2009-01-03
It slices, it dices, it trepanates nazis, EVEN in the shell!
dr_rock - 2009-01-03
Wouldn't trepanating nazis only make them SMARTER????

Menudo con queso - 2009-01-03
No "fatties" tag? I bet all those kids who teased him in school are regretting it now.
imairlax - 2009-01-03
amended!

JRoy1969 - 2009-02-14
Auto-wound, no armor save and fat.
Billy the Poet - 2011-12-06
That guy just doesn't get any better at this.
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