This shouldn't work, yet it does. That's because it's a subtle commentary on the fact that infomercial people have no souls. Also, the word of the day is "Laconic."
Shamwow Vince can't handle mighty putty. Fuck you. Everyone needs a shamwow. Every asshole who's ever thought about a salad wants a slapchop. Shit sells ITSELF. But mighty putty? Fuck you. You didn't give a shit about mighty putty before Billy Mays came along.
Home Depot nothing, they sell it at Wal-Mart for a tube, and I've had to throw tubes otu over the years because they eventually get crusty and gross on the exposed end. I don't know what in the hell you would do with twelve tubes of the shit.
Billy Mays' dontdatehimgirl.com's profile:
"DON'T DATE BILLY MAYS HE'S REALLY LOUD AND HE TRIES TO SELL YOU *** DURING SEX LIKE OXYCLEAN AND AT ONE POINT HE FLIPPED ME ON MY STOMACH AND SHOVED A HERCULES HOOK UP MY ***. ALSO, THE JOKES ABOUT HOW HE MAKES HIS OWN MIGHTY PUTTY ARE JUST UNBEARABLE."
for some reason i found "look at this cup now it's a mug, why not" to be the high point. probably because the pedant within was shouting "that's not a cup it's a broken mug didn't you see the infomercial dude"
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