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Tags:GI Joe, Cobra
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Comment count is 44
Hooper_X - 2009-02-01
My wife's description: "Ooh, look. Doctor Who and some sexy army guys."

My description: "Ooh, look. Team The Bourne Ultimatum."
Camonk - 2009-02-01
This passes the two most important tests I have for anything GI Joe related: achingly, blindingly hot Baroness and Stormshadow fights Snake Eyes.

UnderANeonHalo - 2009-02-01
Yeah, the Baroness seals the deal for me as well. And Snake Eyes does look bad ass. Infinity stars if Shipwreck makes a cameo.

Hooper_X - 2009-02-01
If the movie was just Shipwreck going around the world punching various Cobra agents in the face, it'd pretty much be the best thing ever.

Xiphias - 2009-02-02
if you think that looked anything like the bourne ultimatum you've never seen the bourne ultimatum

MongoMcMichael - 2009-02-02
If the movie was just Shipwreck blundering from dangerous situation to dangerous situation, it'd pretty much be the most accurate cartoon-to-live-action transition ever.

Shipwreck was the Tigra of 'G.I. Joe'.

IrishWhiskey - 2009-02-01
Dennis Quaid, constant slo-mo, and from the director of "The Mummy"?

Yeah... Real high hopes right here.
robotkarateman - 2009-02-01
Because the cartoons were so much better?

Tell you what, if they spend the entire movie dumping thousands of rounds of blue and red tracer bullets at each other without actually killing anyone, and every time a jet gets shot down the pilot and copilot immediately parachute to safety, and every gun battle ends with every single COBRA soldier being marched off, alive, with his hands behind his head, and at the end it's revealed that COBRA Commander comes from some bizarro snake-person town in the fucking Himalayas, then I'll admit that they were faithful to the source material and I'll come back in here and personally give a sloppy blowjob to each and every one of you tampon stains who's currently whining "THIS IS GOING TO SUCK!!!" because it looks different than the cartoon.

Otherwise, man up girls, it's a movie based on a shitty low-budget cartoon based on toys, both of which were made in fucking Japan. It's not the end of the world if the movie "takes liberties". Different from that piece of shit cartoon is a good thing.

CornOnTheCabre - 2009-02-01
what does GI Joe have to do with this piece of shit?

wait, this is a GI Joe movie? huh. okay. well, I guess marketing like that makes sense from an economic standpoint

IrishWhiskey - 2009-02-01

Sorry, but there is a difference. The Transformers cartoons were classic, even though the plot didn't make sense and the animation was spotty. The movie was a painful disaster. The problem wasn't that it didn't stick to the source material (what about my statement made you think that was the objection?). The problem was that it plain old sucked. Watching bad actors under a bad director with a bad script isn't entertaining, no matter what the title of the film.

robotkarateman - 2009-02-01
So what you're saying is if this wasn't called "GI JOE" you'd still be on the internets bitching about how awful it looks?

Hooper_X - 2009-02-01
Looks like a dumb summer action movie.

I am vaguely disappointed that it isn't The Village People fighting a bunch fo dudes in blue pajamas in floating bubbles, but fuck it.

IrishWhiskey - 2009-02-01
robotkarateman :

And before you throw out "on the internets bitching about how awful it looks," you might want to examine the length of your last post defending it.

robotkarateman - 2009-02-02
Just admit that you're only talking about how awful it looks because you think that's what the cool kids are doing.

IrishWhiskey - 2009-02-02
Dangit, you got me. I'm super-excited for a movie with the director of "The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor" and the star of "The Day After Tomorrow" in the style of "Transformers". I mean, how could that possibly not be great?

Also I think Paris Hilton is a brilliant actress, I just pretended not to respect her so the internet would think I'm cool. That's also why I voted Obama.

Princess v2.1 - 2009-02-02
The cartoon is freakin hilarious, faggot. This shit looks like Michael Bay's X-Men.

CornOnTheCabre - 2009-02-14
it's funny that robotkarateman is accusing anyone of being elitist when he seems to hate all things he hasn't seen at least a hundred times before.

Princess v2.1 - 2009-02-01
This looks fucking terrible. How on earth is Vin Diesel not Destro?
mouser - 2009-02-01
The word you're looking for is "craptacular". And for years of poetv material to come, I give it a 5.

spikestoyiu - 2009-02-01
I can finally jerk off over The Baroness without feeling weird.
UnderANeonHalo - 2009-02-01
Let me help you with that.


I know at least 3 of them go to dragoncon here in ATL, great place to meet hot nerdettes.

spikestoyiu - 2009-02-01
Most of those girls are hideous.

I would marry and impregnate the first girl, though. You know -- the one with the lips.

Hooper_X - 2009-02-01
Oh look. A bunch of otherwise plain/unremarkable nerd girls in Baroness costumes. (In fact, I actually kind of sort of know one of those girls - her boyfriend got pissed at me for submitting his site to POE eight billion years ago.)

pastorofmuppets - 2009-02-02
Not suprisingly, the only decent ones were the pics of Sienna Miller, who I assume is going to be in the movie.

CornOnTheCabre - 2009-02-01
thank god this movie is going to have slow motion backflips

cause you know, i was worried for a second
Rape Van Winkle - 2009-02-01
Haw haw. Haw haw. I was just watching this clip on actual YouTube.

In other news, I am so happy that Devestator is a unicycle!

By happy I mean it's not important enough to be angry about.
Tuan Jim - 2009-02-01
I love that this was submitted by Letsfistagain.

I-I'm not really sure why.
FABIO2 - 2009-02-01
This looks like it's going to be Transformers with army guys instead of robots.

So, you know, it's going to be Transformers.
StanleyPain - 2009-02-01
I like how Eccleston left Doctor Who with some excuse about the role being too simple and it might pigeon-hole him into too much sci-fi fan type stuff, so he moves on to play FUCKING DESTRO.

Camonk - 2009-02-01
To be fair Destro is way cooler than gaywad Dr. Who

Hooper_X - 2009-02-01
He is going to be very popular on the WORLD OF WHEELS/RV show circuit.

BHWW - 2009-02-01
It will be truly faithful if every single Cobra vehicle is equipped with missiles.

Hooper_X - 2009-02-01
And a hilariously forced snake motif.

kingarthur - 2009-02-01
Cobra basically ran a theme restaurant for terrorists.

KnowFuture - 2009-02-02
Also: blue or red laser weapons for everything/everybody else and NO DEATH, not even for the obviously mook/cannon fodder guys---there must be one parachute for every single air vehicle shot down.

spikestoyiu - 2009-02-02
Everyone leaps out of their tank before the laser blows it up.

Clever Name - 2009-02-02
Duke spends a few days in a coma after getting stabbed through the heart with a snake javelin.

theSnake - 2009-02-02
This looks fucking awful, not even in a good way. You went and saw Transformers and this is what you reap. I fucking hate movies.
Cleaner82 - 2009-02-02
Not bad! This, while still a little blah, is much less generic than I was expecting.

Also, Bourne references? Really? Why, because there's a street in some of the shots?
chumbucket - 2009-02-02
no, because the people who made this all drive Minis at mad crazy speeds to make them feel special

Billy the Poet - 2009-02-02
Grow up.
BillFisto - 2009-02-02
Five stars for the ridiculousness of putting Hollywood Undead in a GI Joe trailer, plus the exact same slow-motion hand-springing-over-a-rocket scene from the Transformers movie.
pastorofmuppets - 2009-02-02
Saw it on TV. Stopped caring as soon as I saw the word Mummy. As in, the Mummy, with Brendan Fraser. Why on earth would they advertise that? Keep that shit a secret from as many people as you can.
chumbucket - 2009-02-02
this movie will only work now if they do PSA's before the film or for ads on TV
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