Camonk
This passes the two most important tests I have for anything GI Joe related: achingly, blindingly hot Baroness and Stormshadow fights Snake Eyes.

UnderANeonHalo
Yeah, the Baroness seals the deal for me as well. And Snake Eyes does look bad ass. Infinity stars if Shipwreck makes a cameo.

Hooper_X
If the movie was just Shipwreck going around the world punching various Cobra agents in the face, it'd pretty much be the best thing ever.

Xiphias
if you think that looked anything like the bourne ultimatum you've never seen the bourne ultimatum

MongoMcMichael
If the movie was just Shipwreck blundering from dangerous situation to dangerous situation, it'd pretty much be the most accurate cartoon-to-live-action transition ever.

Shipwreck was the Tigra of 'G.I. Joe'.

robotkarateman
Because the cartoons were so much better?

Tell you what, if they spend the entire movie dumping thousands of rounds of blue and red tracer bullets at each other without actually killing anyone, and every time a jet gets shot down the pilot and copilot immediately parachute to safety, and every gun battle ends with every single COBRA soldier being marched off, alive, with his hands behind his head, and at the end it's revealed that COBRA Commander comes from some bizarro snake-person town in the fucking Himalayas, then I'll admit that they were faithful to the source material and I'll come back in here and personally give a sloppy blowjob to each and every one of you tampon stains who's currently whining "THIS IS GOING TO SUCK!!!" because it looks different than the cartoon.

Otherwise, man up girls, it's a movie based on a shitty low-budget cartoon based on toys, both of which were made in fucking Japan. It's not the end of the world if the movie "takes liberties". Different from that piece of shit cartoon is a good thing.

CornOnTheCabre
what does GI Joe have to do with this piece of shit?


wait, this is a GI Joe movie? huh. okay. well, I guess marketing like that makes sense from an economic standpoint

IrishWhiskey
No.

Sorry, but there is a difference. The Transformers cartoons were classic, even though the plot didn't make sense and the animation was spotty. The movie was a painful disaster. The problem wasn't that it didn't stick to the source material (what about my statement made you think that was the objection?). The problem was that it plain old sucked. Watching bad actors under a bad director with a bad script isn't entertaining, no matter what the title of the film.

robotkarateman
So what you're saying is if this wasn't called "GI JOE" you'd still be on the internets bitching about how awful it looks?

Hooper_X
Looks like a dumb summer action movie.

I am vaguely disappointed that it isn't The Village People fighting a bunch fo dudes in blue pajamas in floating bubbles, but fuck it.

IrishWhiskey
robotkarateman :
Yes.

And before you throw out "on the internets bitching about how awful it looks," you might want to examine the length of your last post defending it.

robotkarateman
Just admit that you're only talking about how awful it looks because you think that's what the cool kids are doing.

IrishWhiskey
Dangit, you got me. I'm super-excited for a movie with the director of "The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor" and the star of "The Day After Tomorrow" in the style of "Transformers". I mean, how could that possibly not be great?

Also I think Paris Hilton is a brilliant actress, I just pretended not to respect her so the internet would think I'm cool. That's also why I voted Obama.

Princess v2.1
The cartoon is freakin hilarious, faggot. This shit looks like Michael Bay's X-Men.

CornOnTheCabre
it's funny that robotkarateman is accusing anyone of being elitist when he seems to hate all things he hasn't seen at least a hundred times before.

mouser
The word you're looking for is "craptacular". And for years of poetv material to come, I give it a 5.

UnderANeonHalo
Let me help you with that.

http://fiveprime.org/hivemind/Tags/baroness,gijoe

I know at least 3 of them go to dragoncon here in ATL, great place to meet hot nerdettes.

spikestoyiu
Most of those girls are hideous.

I would marry and impregnate the first girl, though. You know -- the one with the lips.

Hooper_X
Oh look. A bunch of otherwise plain/unremarkable nerd girls in Baroness costumes. (In fact, I actually kind of sort of know one of those girls - her boyfriend got pissed at me for submitting his site to POE eight billion years ago.)

pastorofmuppets
Not suprisingly, the only decent ones were the pics of Sienna Miller, who I assume is going to be in the movie.

Camonk
To be fair Destro is way cooler than gaywad Dr. Who

Hooper_X
He is going to be very popular on the WORLD OF WHEELS/RV show circuit.

Hooper_X
And a hilariously forced snake motif.

kingarthur
Cobra basically ran a theme restaurant for terrorists.

KnowFuture
Also: blue or red laser weapons for everything/everybody else and NO DEATH, not even for the obviously mook/cannon fodder guys---there must be one parachute for every single air vehicle shot down.

spikestoyiu
Everyone leaps out of their tank before the laser blows it up.

Clever Name
Duke spends a few days in a coma after getting stabbed through the heart with a snake javelin.

chumbucket
no, because the people who made this all drive Minis at mad crazy speeds to make them feel special