I feel like drinking a basketball.

Meanwhile in an alternate dimension, a basketball falls onto the dinner table of a high dignitary in the intergalactic space federation. Immediately coming to the conclusion that the opposing faction was using teleportation technology in direct defiance of a recently signed peace treaty, he orders a massive offensive, murdering trillions of his foes, obliterating dozens of solar systems and killing several billion innocent bystanders who were caught in the crossfire.

Those are some exciting layups, there.

Sorcery!

Magic Johnson's 7-UP gives you the aids.