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Desc:I Hate Chimps Week continues.
Category:Pets & Animals, Horror
Tags:monkey, attenborough, om nom nom, chimps
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Comment count is 29
Monkeys are always funny. And tasty, apparently!
Did you hear? There's a bill in the house to ban people from keeping primates as pets.
Muddy Mae Suggins
Passed the house, going to the senate. Primates are wild animals, not pets...and they're awesome.

even though dogs have killed more people?

I guess it's the same logic that bans assault weapons, I love it when legislation is made about things that legislators dont understand.

maybe they're looking at other variables

"Even though dogs have killed more people."

Yes, because it's common for households to have 2 or 3 chimps in them.

Muddy Mae Suggins
I'm *hoping* the legislation is intended to help the animals, not just protect stupid people. These animals can't be properly taken care of in homes. They deserve to be in the wild in their family groups. That is why I think the legislation is a good idea.

Yes, and since cars have killed more people than assault weapons, we should definitely not keep morons from having guns that shoot like 600 bullets a minute.

I love it when idiots on the internet act superior over things they don't really understand because they're fucking inbred mongs with seven thumbs. Jesus, Billy Buttsex really does live on.

Corman's Inferno
heyitslozeau, you seriously think a wild creature that's basically a human (but stronger, faster, and with two extra sets of hands) is less dangerous than a domesticated animal that's lived alongside us as a companion for a good chunk of evolutionary history?

Syd Midnight
As the video shows, chimps are as evil and warlike as humans, and pet humans are pretty dangerous.

OH SNAP that ain't kosher
there is no law but ape law

voight and attenborough..sep at birth?
look at this sweat-drenched old man dropping philosophy out in the jungle next to some murder apes
murder apes

Wow. Forget the Coliseum.
Wonko the Sane
makes the ocean depths look friendly
See, this is why you don't fuck with monkeys
You mean the one they ripped apart and ate?

You're watching the Chimp Special Forces in action here. Chimps train 4-man killteams to do this. The Driver flushes the monkeys out towards two Blockers, who funnel the stream of monkeys into the waiting arms of the Ambusher.

Every now and again these grizzled veterans will invade a neighboring chimp colony and rapemurder the lot of them.
"Ape shall not kill ape." Good thing monkeys aren't apes, right?
The closest living thing to us.
And we also make just HORRIBLE pets.

Drivers? Blockers? Close the ring? What is this, a mmorpg?

Frank Rizzo
black people
Mmm, bushmeat.
And Then Explosions
I feel proud of my species and the fact that we've evolved to the point where we bash things in the head and kill them before we start feasting on their flesh.
And Then Explosions
Shit. Well, maybe not.


That must be what hell sounds like.
Man, Attenborough sounds like he's getting off on this at the end or having a mild heart attack
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