dead_cat 
Jesus christ, that is one big cat.
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thebaronsdoctor
I think that kid's in more danger from that evil cat than from the pedophile.
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bopeton
Begone, pedophile, or I'll sick my monstrous predatory friend on you.
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Crucifried
The cat makes the sound of a baby's flesh boiling with no need of flame or heat.
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boner
are you looking at my bum?
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zatojones
He avoids a pedophile and all he gets is an apple? Should have gone for the puppies, kid!
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Zinnus
Isen't it more likely that you will be molested by someone you know over someone you don't know?
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athodyd
mrrow pllbblaow pblf hnk glghughglaghu
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Alex
someone please find the prodigy version
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xenocide
This is actually a sequel to the lesser-known PSA, "My cat is possesed by satan."
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Aubrey McFate
Charley talks in the cat verson of HUALGLAG
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