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Desc:He's sorry
Tags:vanilla ice, robert van winkle, stupid tattoo that is both Florida and a gun
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Comment count is 24
"Hi, I'm Rob van Winkle. You might know me as Vanilla Ice. I'm SAYING I'm sorry for all the music I made that seems stupid now, but without that music I wouldn't be sitting here today, so who the fuck am I kidding? That's right, YOU! If you believe this, I'm SO sorry, but at least you'll view me with some sort of unearned sense of credibility that might actually lead you to buy whatever I'm shilling right now. You see, this is the latest attempt by myself to remain 'hip,' even if it means pretending I'm embarrassed by the shit that made me famous in the first place. Kthxbye."
Now he just needs to apologize for the douchebag crooked cap/goatee combination
Eh Poo-Clops! Apologize for being a turd burgler!

Yay Virgin virgin viral marketing!

Except no.

Not yay at all.

In fact, fuck Virgin. Right in the ass.
Is that what this is about? Does Mr. Van Winkle have a new album or show or snowboard coming out?

Frank Rizzo
I think its fake, too chopped up and weird sounding.


well, yeah it's fake. He links you to Virgin's homepage.

virgin is trying to be indie and counterculture and viral and fuck that dying goddamn media conglomerate

Is this that new show I heard about, "Let's hunt and kill Vanilla Ice?"
Save your bullets, Bill Hicks Fans. This man is already dead inside.

That's even better.

too little too late
At this point only a pound of flesh will suffice.

He's apologizing for "Ice Ice Baby"...

...but not for "Ninja Rap", "Roll up them Hootie Macs", "I love you", or the movie "Cool as Ice".
Jeff Fries
I'm sorry everyone for delighting your childhood and then your young adulthood

Also for photographs in Madonna's "Sex" book.

The stars are for the "stupid tattoo that is both Florida and a gun" tag that, while literal, still did not prepare me for the real thing.

20 years later the doucheness continues (hat and goatee)
20 years from now he's going to be in a pair of golf pants and an old man's cap apologizing for who he is today.
We know what will be on his tombstone then. "I'm sorry I lived."

Dinkin Flicka
Followed by the Virgin website url

Prickly Pete
He's friends with ICP. They have a couple of songs together. Just thought I'd throw that out there.
that makes sense. the world is a terrible place sometimes.

James Woods
Needs a 'this is why the terrorists hate us' tag. If he was really sorry he wouldn't have exposed us to this bullshit either.
Dinkin Flicka
I was fairly pleased with the "stupid tattoo that is both Florida and a gun" tag. It's the real star here.

He doesn't need to apologize at all. I enjoyed "Cool as Ice", the Ninja Rap, Ice Ice Baby, and so on. If he continued to act like that 90's guy he once was, he'd probably have a career mocking himself while raking in the bucks.

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