Neither have you tasted my Jesus.

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Comment count is 25

wtf japan

- 2009-04-05

Your Christians taste so unlike your Christ.

- 2009-04-05

her arguments are hard to refute.

wtf japan - 2009-04-05

Who the fuck are you?

Xenocide - 2009-04-05

Why, he's Johnny Fivestars, of course. A man of legend, it is said he appears on websites but once every thousand years, leaving stars to those who are worthy; one for every element that summons Captain Planet.

baleen

- 2009-04-05

if I was the professor I would pick up the apple and EAT IT

Urburos - 2009-04-05

A force in the background, unknowable and untraceable other than for the stars he leaves strewn about?

OMG YOU GUYS. HE WAS HERE AND WE DIDNT EVEN LICK HIM.

Stog

- 2009-04-05

YOU DIDN'T LICK THE JESUS GUYS

YOU MISSED OUT ON A GRAND OPPORTUNITY

HOW WILL YOU KNOW JESUS'S LOVE IF YOU DON'T LICK THE JESUS

- 2009-04-05

His this is Johnny Fivestars!!!

Xenocide

- 2009-04-05

He wasn't speaking in metaphor. Jesus was actually that apple.

See, that guy was actually Satan, he wanted everyone to know he'd turned Jesus into fruit and was going to eat him alive.

And that girl has been duped into praising this horrible act of savagery.

She must be burned.

HarrietTubmanPI

- 2009-04-05

Burned?

Not immediately... There are a few things that could be done first before she is burned. Where's your imagination?

pastorofmuppets

- 2009-04-05

she looks about 9 and a half...where's your dignity

futurebot - 2009-04-05

kill yourself

Aubrey McFate

- 2009-04-05

I thought it was going to be another Creationist Evidence Wins story, and then BAM CRAZYTOWN

fluffy

- 2009-04-05

Yeah, like, "You just take it on faith that this apple is sweet" or some similar bullshit.

Wow.

Clever Name

- 2009-04-05

I was expecting this:

http://www.snopes.com/religion/chalk.asp

What I got was so much better.

Dinanukht

- 2009-04-05

That was the best Bible story EVER.

Iakchos

- 2009-04-05

That False God Which is Not God guy looks fun, I think I want to follow him.

eatenmyeyes - 2009-04-06

Screen Capture, Rename "False God.png"

Son of Slam

- 2009-04-05

I don't remember reading that story in the Bible At All!

j lzrd / swift idiot

- 2009-04-05

Everything about this hurt. I couldn't make it through. I hope it wasn't brilliant satire in disguise.

Camonk

- 2009-04-06

oh man. I had VenomFangX and DemoniusX completely confused. That made this video a pretty big disappointment to me. But it started at 10 stars, just from the title.

pastorofmuppets - 2009-04-25

i did exactly that not too long ago. damn youtubers.

dead_cat

- 2009-04-07

BAHAHAHH

Oh god

Oh god

I think my heart stopped from all the laughing.

citrusmirakel

- 2009-04-08

A Christian politely stands up and says "Sir, you're wrong!"

And the teacher says "How the fuck do you think it's polite to interrupt my lecture with some claptrap about apples disproving The Big Bang Theory?"

oddeye - 2014-02-24

That's basically how it goes down in Jack Chick tracts. Only the retard with the apple would blow away every argument the teacher has and the students would all flock to him and be the right ind of Christian forevermore.

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