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Desc:There is a storm gathering. A storm of parodies.
Category:Humor
Tags:gay, George Takei, nom, Alicia Silverstone, Lance Bass
Submitted:Xiphias
Date:04/21/09
Views:2695
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Comment count is 48
Lurchi
theater people!
Enjoy
"God has given him a name which is above every name – that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, of things in heaven, and things in earth, and things under the earth; and that every tongue should confess that Jesus Christ is Lord"
Stopheles
"Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances."

see also:

"No state shall make or enforce any law which shall abridge the privileges or immunities of citizens of the United States; nor shall any State deprive any person of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law; nor deny to any person within its jurisdiction the equal protection of the laws."

Caminante Nocturno
“I grew up in this town, my poetry was born between the hill and the river, it took its voice from the rain, and like the timber, it steeped itself in the forests.”

Hey, guess what, smart ass? My quote has as much to do with this issue as yours does.

Xiphias
The LORD said to Moses, "Say to Aaron: 'For the generations to come none of your descendants who has a defect may come near to offer the food of his God. No man who has any defect may come near: no man who is blind or lame, disfigured or deformed; no man with a crippled foot or hand, or who is hunchbacked or dwarfed, or who has any eye defect, or who has festering or running sores or damaged testicles. No descendant of Aaron the priest who has any defect is to come near to present the offerings made to the LORD by fire. He has a defect; he must not come near to offer the food of his God. He may eat the most holy food of his God, as well as the holy food; yet because of his defect, he must not go near the curtain or approach the altar, and so desecrate my sanctuary. I am the LORD, who makes them holy. ' "

Sean Robinson
"Congregation gathers down by the riverside
Preacher stands with his Bible groom stands waitin for his bride
Congregation gone and the sun sets behind a weepin willow tree
Groom stands alone and watches the river rush on so effortlessly
Lord and hes wonderin where can his baby be
Still at the end of every hard earned day people find some reason to believe"

IF THIS WERE ABOUT A GROOM AND A GROOM, THERE WOULD BE NO REASON TO BELIEVE.

AND GROOM DOESN'T EVEN RHYME WITH RIVERSIDE.

THINK ABOUT THAT ONE FOLKS.


B. Weed
Not everyone who says to me, 'Lord, Lord,' will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only he who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. Many will say to me on that day, 'Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and in your name drive out demons and perform many miracles?' Then I will tell them plainly, 'I never knew you. Away from me, you evildoers!'

Pillager
Jesus yawned.

Jefka
"The fucking dog has fucking papers." - Walter Sobchak

Quad9Damage
"If anyone comes to me and does not hate his father and mother, his wife and children, his brothers and sisters—yes, even his own life—he cannot be my disciple." - Luke 14:26

StanleyPain
"That is not dead which can eternal lie,
And with strange aeons even death may die."
-HP Lovecraft

La Loco
Ezekiel 23:19-20

Yet she increased her whoring, remembering the days of her youth, when she played the whore in the land of Egypt and lusted after her paramours there, whose members were like those of donkeys, and whose issue was like that of horses.

This has nothing to do with this video but damn, those are big cocks!

Also, the Weather Girls foretold this back in 82'.

Rodents of Unusual Size
I bet my tongue could convince you of a few things amirite???

seriouslyuguys
"9 These shall ye eat of all that are in the waters: whatsoever hath fins and scales in the waters, in the seas, and in the rivers, them shall ye eat.
10 And all that have not fins and scales in the seas, and in the rivers, of all that move in the waters, and of any living thing which is in the waters, they shall be an abomination unto you:
11 They shall be even an abomination unto you; ye shall not eat of their flesh, but ye shall have their carcases in abomination.
12 Whatsoever hath no fins nor scales in the waters, that shall be an abomination unto you."

Chip
"And it came to pass, when Joram saw Jehu, that he said, Is it peace, Jehu? And he answered, What peace, so long as the prostitutions of your mother Jezebel and her witchcrafts are so many?" - 2 Kings 9:22

godot
6 Young man, there's no need to feel down. 7 I said, young man, 8 pick yourself off the ground. 9 I said, young man, 10 'cause you're in a new town 11 There's no need to be unhappy. 12 Young man, there's a place you can go. 13 I said, young man, 14 when you're short on your dough. 15 You can stay there, and 16 I'm sure you will find 17 Many ways to have a good time.

KnowFuture
"Whatever nigga."

--Anonymous

Enjoy
When I saw the video, that verse just came into my mind so I decided to post it stream of consciousness. We seem to lack a fear of God.

La Loco
Five stars for Godot.

pastorofmuppets
Yeah but NOM lacks a fear of ridicule. Now I ask you, which is the greater sin?

Before you answer, keep in mind: bananas are handles.

mashedtater
1 Corinthians
Chapter 13

If I speak in human and angelic tongues but do not have love, I am a resounding gong or a clashing cymbal.
And if I have the gift of prophecy and comprehend all mysteries and all knowledge; if I have all faith so as to move mountains but do not have love, I am nothing.
If I give away everything I own, and if I hand my body over so that I may boast but do not have love, I gain nothing.
Love is patient, love is kind. It is not jealous, (love) is not pompous, it is not inflated,
it is not rude, it does not seek its own interests, it is not quick-tempered, it does not brood over injury,
it does not rejoice over wrongdoing but rejoices with the truth.
It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
Love never fails. If there are prophecies, they will be brought to nothing; if tongues, they will cease; if knowledge, it will be brought to nothing.
For we know partially and we prophesy partially,
but when the perfect comes, the partial will pass away.
When I was a child, I used to talk as a child, think as a child, reason as a child; when I became a man, I put aside childish things.
At present we see indistinctly, as in a mirror, but then face to face. At present I know partially; then I shall know fully, as I am fully known.
So faith, hope, love remain, these three; but the greatest of these is love.

pastorofmuppets
These quotes are too vague. Everyone just write "for gay marriage" and "against gay marriage" so I know which of you are on the level.

dueserpenti
I was going to three-star it until I heard about the gay umbrella.
zatojones
Yes, where can I get this umbrella to make me not gay? Uh it's for a friend.

Camonk
Alicia Silverstone hasn't aged as well as Liv Tyler.
karl hungus
you shut your evil lying face!

simon666
Since when did she get the Sylvester Stalone lower lip thing, did she have a stroke?

Also: This video rules.

Caminante Nocturno
Gay people are immune to falling damage. This may not seem like a problem at first, until you learn that gay people attack by falling from the skies onto their foes. If your party wants to survive an encounter with them, you will need at least a +2 umbrella. Fortunately, gay people will not attack parties that have bards in them, and may even reward the party with treasures in exchange for some hot dance beats.

Hot dance beats have a CR of 15.
mashedtater
Just fucking take my stars would you carm? :D

mcsancherson
gay
Chancho
Good but the original NOM ad was much better.
Kumquatxop
George Takei = five stars (of gay)
Quad9Damage
I can't decide if there's too much Sarah Chalke or not enough Sarah Chalke.
And Then Explosions
I want to know who the guy in the suit is. The one in the background KARATE KICKING at the rain of gay.
spencer
Pretty sure that's Michael Hitchcock.
-1 star because Colbert's parody was funnier.

pastorofmuppets
I actually liked this one better, but I appreciated that Colbert points out that NOM is actually "a rainbow coalition" of Mormons.

Technically they believe that God lives on a planet called Kolob and sends his seed to every planet with life on it, and that Jesus was but one of his many children, born of his many wives.

Kolob.

NOM called me recently before my state senate and house both (overwhelmingly) voted to replace all marriage laws with gender-neutral versions. They're lucky they missed me.

j lzrd / swift idiot
Karate kicking the rain of gay people is where I lost it.

Witty_Pop_Culture_Reference
Kinda hoping to see NotBecky in some girl on girl tongue action, dammit. Still, 5 stars.
RomancingTrain
Couldn't get the rights to "It's raining men," eh?
Herr Matthias
george takei solemnly nodding in the background
Lauritz Melchior
I assume that all of these people are gay celebrities, but George Takei is the only person whom I recognized. I rather wish that he hadn't had any lines, but was just a ubiquitous presence throughout.
Herr Matthias
Alicia Silverstone and Sarah Chalke are both married/engaged (to guys). So they're not gay, just gay-sympathetic.

Syd Midnight
Takei took it from parody to fully surreal.

pastorofmuppets
I didn't laugh that hard at the video he made for Tim Hardaway, but for whatever reason as soon as he opened his mouth in this one I snapped.

feathersfall
i wonder if any hate crimes will happen that emulate what they're joking about here. hopefully not. just picture the bloody umbrellas
ProfessorChaos
3 comments.

1. I am from Massachusets. And yes, our hot lunch program does have a few problems.

2. www.giantgayrepellantumbrella.com links to a video of "It's Raining Men".

3. That nice girl from scrubs is a lesbian?
pastorofmuppets
www.giantgayrepellantumbrella.com links to a different site (a blog, but typo squatters nonetheless)

you'll be wanting www.giantgayrepellentumbrella.com

ABoyNamedCheese
"Happy shall he be, that taketh and dasheth thy little ones against the stones." --Psalms 137:9
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