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Desc:Husband claims that his nightly absences are due to kidnappings rather than affairs.
Category:Classic TV Clips, Humor
Tags:Maury Povich, kidnapping, hideous lump woman
Submitted:MongoMcMichael
Date:05/04/09
Views:2579
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Comment count is 26
voodoo_pork
Yes. Parade your pathetic suffering for Ceasar's amusement.
baleen

When will people realize that the $75 or whatever that these desperately poor people get for making up stories on these shows is making the audience the punchline.

One of my neighbors got together with a few of his friends and created a show for Ricki Lake involving bisexual cheating, because they really needed the money and they were funny people.

Rodents of Unusual Size
Those plebs love him all the more for his jovial humor.

Dr Dim
She seemed like a pretty good actor... keeping up that blank stare while telling that story would take talent.

Rudy
Yeah, the "hideous lump woman" is clearly trying to resist smiling at 2:46.

citrusmirakel
What, am I Caesar in this situation? Or is Maury Povich Caesar. Because I feel like both of us are lacking in different ways. I don't like marching, and Connie Chung would beat Cornelia's ass.

Paranatural
You know, I'm gonna have to try that excuse next time. Seems to have worked for this guy.
Caminante Nocturno
A friend of mine used it as an excuse for why he missed three days of work. It worked.

Richmond
Our union once had to defend a guy that said he missed work for a week due to being kidnapped by bikers. The story probably would have been more plausible if the bikers hadn't also said that they were probably going to kidnap him again sometime in the summer.

Camonk
If he didn't want to hurt the girl's feelings, he could've just said, "I thought of something funny." Hell, he could've said, Invisble elves are tickling my scrotum. She's so dumb, she wouldn't believed him.
Camonk
Would've, not wouldn't. I'm all fucked up with contractions. This is because I was kidnapped.

kingofthenothing
You know, this almost makes me want to start kidnapping people, and for no real nefarious reasons or anything, just hold them for a while, let them go, and kidnap them again later, and see if they end up on Maury. Sort of a redneck tag and release plan.

RomancingTrain
Do they ever leave the cheating boyfriend?

Kingofthehobos
sometimes the boyfriend gets kidnapped permanently though and forced to live with her sister/cousin/aunt/co-worker/or daughter.

Caminante Nocturno
Someone kidnapped my ability to restrain my laughter.
kingofthenothing
Your ability to restrain your laughter's been cheating on you.

revdrew
Like a Kids in the Hall skit brought to life.
ProfessorChaos
I think this would be funnier if it turned out he REALLY had been kidnapped.
mcsancherson
oh whatever tags she's not hideous
fermun
She is a little bit on the dumpy side, as such, this clip needs the "dumpy girls with persuasive boyfriends" tag

Hooper_X
She got dumpier.

kamlem
Thank you for letting us ridicule ourselves on TV for a pittance, Maury!
Sean Robinson
Maury laughing next to a crying teen?

Bonertown, population MY PANTS.
Chalkdust
Maury is clearly suffering from earmites.
LeMoyne IV
At least when you go to Springer, you get to see some tits with your terrible acting.

Hell, I saw tits waiting in line for the late taping.
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