You don't have thirty feet to run? Or a stout wooden door?

I think he means the music being played. It would be mediocre crap if they were playing the tune properly, but whatever incarnation of sloppy ren-fair pap this is would surely chill even the bravest mans spirit.

I think I'd be afraid to have this man as a neighbor but for different reasons; criminals would be much better equipped than this guy and they'd know it.

At least he has damn good aim. I'd rather live next to the atlatl master than the atlatl novice.

He'd be handy in more then a few apocalypse scenarios.

He's one of the best atlatl'rs(?) we have now that the weapon has become widely obsolete, but surely he wouldn't be anywhere as skilled compared to those who depended on them for food and safety.

Much like his life now, female genitals would elude him.

Well, Tom IS married, so you're probably right.

Any anlatr can throw a bunch of atlaltees at a thing.

Can you throw one at a bunny sprinting across the steppe? No.

Silly baleen, traps are for rabbits.

and rocks and big sticks too.

i will win the atlatlata debate