From zero to crushing depression in only twenty-nine seconds.
Good Ole Tom sold those coins for twice that amount. Demands to be called Thomas in private because." Only those stupid chumps call me that."
Woman in the teal sweater spent all the money on a bingo habit, lost her house, remarried a man named "Lou", moved in with him and took up drinking.
Tootise the Dog ran away, to a place where no one would ever again put jester colored bells in her hair ever again.
Raymond? Still dead, but watches you while you shower.
|Caminante Nocturno |
Those coins were family heirlooms. They were supposed to be given to Raymond's son, just as Raymond's father gave them to him. However, they couldn't have kids because she refused to stop drinking.
|Big Beef Burritos Supreme |
She spent it on chemotherapy for her dog, which turned not to have leukemia, but in fact was rabid and spread it to her.
She now walks the streets at night, foaming at the mouth and screaming OLLLLEEEE TOOMMMMMM.
She used the money to pay cover bills left over from Raymond's funeral, and to pay for badly-needed upkeep at the house. Now she and the dog live mostly happily, though she still has moments of melancholy when she misses her husband. Though the blank place on the shelf where the coins used to be makes her miss him, she does not feel guilt because Raymond told her to sell the coins.
She gave the money to Good Ol' Jim, an investment broker she found in the yellow pages. Good Ol' Jim invested in Bernard L. Madoff Investment Securities LLC. All was lost.
Oddly enough, the coins which Good Ol' Tom had scammed the woman out of are indeed worth tens of thousands, but are also cursed. As long as Good Ol' Tom posseses the coins, he will never be able to make a really good omelette.
what? no Barak Obama/JFK commemorative coins? sorry lady, not worth my time, take your pogs somewhere else.
5 for the comment train set loose by this video.
I see this shit on TV every day. Why didn't I think to submit it?
|Lauritz Melchior |
I don't think that I've ever seen a commercial as frightening and depressing as this one is.
|La Loco |
She spent the money on making a army of robots that eat melted glass. When they fight at night their bellys glow. One robot accadentaly destroyed that pawn show thing and the coins flew in the air and the pan show guy accadentally swallowed them.
She refinanced the house in order to pay for her husband's chemotherapy, but he died anyway. In her grief, she racked up $60k in debt in scratch tickets and weekend jaunts to Atlantic City, which also came out of the mortgage. Her daughter and granddaughter moved in with her when the daughter's marriage broke up (the ex beat her because his long distance truck driving job paid less than her hairdresser gig) and her granddaughter is being groomed to pay the mortgage when she's old enough to work, so that the "family" can stay in the house. The daughter is now a bartender and pilfers booze from the bar in order to keep her mother drunk and manageable.
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