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Desc:clearly affected young ladies
Category:Religious, Pets & Animals
Tags:Incest, purity ball, white people, futility, chastity
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Comment count is 24
C. Eloi Marx - 2009-05-27
Johnny Goatee at 3:05 has more then a faint whiff of I'm-not-a-dad-but-I-like-to-hug-pre-pubescent-girls about him.
Rodents of Unusual Size - 2009-05-27
I'm pretty sure he was a dad at 15, which is basically the same thing.

Beyonce Knowles - 2009-05-27

100 black men?
Beyonce Knowles - 2009-05-27
And: the ring can be passed from the dad to the husband when the daughter marries. So it's like a 'permission to fuck'-token?

Subfuscious - 2009-05-27
That's amazingly creepy.

Robin Kestrel - 2009-05-27
That's not how you spell "Tammy"!

Innocent Bystander - 2009-05-27
"I read about this... in a book!"

She's so surprised she read an actual book.
Caminante Nocturno - 2009-05-27
Which she immediately follows with "I saw it on Oprah."

Hugo Gorilla - 2009-05-27
Joke's on you, dad. Her boyfriend is going to pay just as much to fuck her on prom night.
HoboTech - 2009-05-27
Maybe I'm a jaded cynic, maybe I've been on the internet too long, but I'm willing to bet that 75% of these girls have already broken their promise... with Daddy. This is just Daddy's way to make sure that he has no competition.

Maybe I'm the only one who thinks that it's creepy for these guys to be so concerned about their offspring's vaginae. (Freud, anyone?)
Dharma - 2009-05-27
Maybe you're a moron.

Personally I like the young lady who claimed she dragged her dad to the purity ball. I envision a future of her as a beauty pageant washup turned country singer who weepingly reminisces about her special night with daddy before belting out some generic piece of fluff about Jesus, America and trailer curtains.

HoboTech - 2009-05-27
Maybe you're a bitch

Dharma - 2009-05-27
There's no maybe about that one, sweetheart.

HoboTech - 2009-05-27
I'm glad we could come to an amicable agreement then

spikestoyiu - 2009-05-27
"Here's hoping you don't end up a knocked up slut like your mom."
Hooper_X - 2009-05-27
So much hilarity.

"A national Christian pop star who performed live on stage..." ...but who refused to be identified? Was there a warrant out for him?

The anecdote about stealing ties from preachers.

That weird-ass blouse the anchor has on.

"We've got 100 black men in the studio" HOO HEY I BET IT'S PRETTY CROWDED!!!

And then there's the Purity Ball itself. Those things are really really weird and creepy, especially when they're set up like a little faux wedding ceremony. I mean, that's always been an underlying if not outright stated message throughout human history, that the daughter is the father's property until he can find some kid to foist her off onto, but wowowowowowowowowoowowwow.
mr.swizzle - 2009-05-27
The host looks like a gay and British Howdy Doody.
HankFinch - 2009-05-27

Cube - 2009-05-27
Oh you christians and your "oh shit, it turns out we aren't sexually compatible" marriages.
Syd Midnight - 2009-05-27
I think the idea is to ensure that they're terrible at sex so they'll have as little of it as possible, also to give their princesses daddy issues so they'll never have an orgasm like a dirty slut

j lzrd / swift idiot - 2009-05-27
People like this never fail to creep me out. I think it's because they're more artificial than a bouquet of plastic flowers.

wtf japan - 2009-05-27
I am convinced that this is really an unholy ritual executed in the hopes of resurrecting Sigmund Freud.
cognitivedissonance - 2009-05-27
Their waifish kiwi host totally enjoyed the post-Purity Ball closeted gay dad orgy immediately following.
Camonk - 2010-06-24
A hundred billion stars for the "pets and animals" category.
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