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Comment count is 26
memedumpster - 2009-06-24

I want bee stories!!!

I got chased down the Superstition Mountains by a swarm of bees and by chased I mean they were passing through, over my head, and I ran (leaped, slid) like hell anyway. It sounded just like this, only in Unholy Terror Surround Sound. In big open air they move like a school of tiny fish that blot out the sun.

memedumpster - 2009-06-24

Oh yeah, had they killed me (intentionally or through inspiring an epic mountain faceplant) my last coherent sentence would have been "you've got to be shitting me."

Adham Nu'man - 2009-06-24

I fucked a bee once.

It wasn't that great.

pressed peanut sweepings - 2009-06-24

Many years ago, I was in Vietnam visiting the family of my adopted Vietnamese uncle. We were roaming around in the steamy Mekong delta, when suddenly, our entourage stopped and looked towards me in a concerned manner. They started talking quickly in Vietnamese, but I could not understand them. Suddenly, my uncle yelled "BEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!", and about a second after that, I felt a sharp pain in my neck.

Thus, I was wounded in 'Nam.

Architeuthis Tux - 2009-06-25

As a kid, I had a variety of run-ins with the order Hymenoptera, but I'll limit the brief stories to only those concerning bees.

At the benign end of the spectrum, I spent the better part of a summer collecting honey bees after discovering that I could easily and safely pick them up by the wings while they were sucking in the same place Ariel sucks. I'd grab one, put it in a jar to watch for a while, then let it go again. They're really marvelous little insects to look at up close, and it's not real easy to do when they're out on the town.

I learned respect for bees when I stepped in a nest of sweat bees as a young kid. Too bad for me, I was wearing pants. They swarmed up the leg, stinging and stinging. The only upside there is that sweat bee stings are pretty wimpy compared even to honey bee stings. It would have sucked really a lot worse to have my crotch stung by honey bees.

Later, as a teen, a friend riled up a nest of bumble bees. As you probably know, honey bees eviscerate themselves when they sting. The little barbed stinger pulls out their guts, leaving a little pumping venom factory attached to your skin while the bee stumbles off somewhere to bleed to death. Bumble bees have smooth stingers so they can sting repeatedly. The bee that caught me landed on my upper lip and stung me again and again for about 20 seconds while I jumped up and down and hit myself in the face. At the site of the sting, I periodically got an ugly sore for about 2 years after the encounter, until it finally stopped coming back.

It's the wasp stories that are really good though.

Architeuthis Tux - 2009-06-25

And only 3 stars because that really isn't that many bees. I had that many in my pantleg.

oswaldtheluckyrabbit - 2009-06-24

Lots of noise. Suggests. Lots of bees.

pressed peanut sweepings - 2009-06-24

Quickly, to the Beemobile!

glasseye - 2009-06-24


poopskin - 2009-06-24

I only submitted it to the hopper because I wanted to see if M.C. Afraid of Bees would vote it down. That was indeed the case.

Sammy Barnathan - 2009-06-25

I lol'd seeing that vote in the hopper!

Jet Bin Fever - 2009-06-24

My only real fear, and I faced it watching this. Thankssss

twinkieafternoon - 2009-06-24

So, if you spray Raid for bees in there...it would foam up like a Bill Nye baking soda volcano, right? Right? Please say yes.

Caminante Nocturno - 2009-06-24

Whoever was holding the camera is dead now, right?

memedumpster - 2009-06-24

Dude... bees were holding the camera... you just can't understand their demands.

petep - 2009-06-25

oh god bees videotaping bees and you're meant to understand something

Samisyosam - 2009-06-24

Needs an "I'm covered in BEEEEEEES!" tag.

Ponasty - 2009-06-24

Honey is Awesome
Bees make honey

fluffy - 2009-06-24

This is where Where The Bees Went went

Camonk - 2009-06-24

That's not that many bees.

zatojones - 2009-06-25

you wouldn't say that once they knocked a hole in the wall

IrishWhiskey - 2009-06-24


RockBolt - 2009-06-24


Jeriko-1 - 2009-06-25

Holy shit. its bees!!!

Where have you guys been?

petep - 2009-06-25

agh what are we going to do about all these bees

Dib - 2009-06-26

Is MC Scared of Bees not registered on poetv? Time to start a new tag?

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