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Desc:But he won his appeal and he's back on the street! Oink oink!
Tags:incompetence, fatty, Fuck tha Police, immobile, fatties are not a protected minority
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Comment count is 17
urbanelf - 2009-06-25
1:20 "Try imagining the baby is a cheeseburger."

1:25 "OK. Try imagining the suspect is a cheeseburger."

petep - 2009-06-25
this man is so dour and professional in the face of having to fire someone for being fat
mashedtater - 2009-06-25
well i think it is like he said. he really liked the man, he knew him. im sure he didnt want to have to fire him for being fat.

Camonk - 2009-06-25
I guess if all else fails in a real bad firefight, his fellow officers can take cover behind his enormous bulk. Maybe endless jokes about what fat sack of turds he is will raise station morale.
Smellvin - 2009-06-25
According to Mythbusters, fat people don't actually stop bullets (and I'd hate to think of how much a custom bullet-resistant vest would cost to buy for him). He would provide concealment but no cover.

fluffy - 2009-06-25
The Mythbusters experiment was just to see if a person's fat could protect their own vital organs (rather than those of their colleagues), and didn't account for bones and the like.

Millard - 2009-06-25
"our big story"
Enjoy - 2009-06-25
Amazingly, Officer Parent was able to subdue five men robbing the Bellevue Dunkin' Donuts. Witnesses say he flew around the shop like a spightly bubble bee, laying one man out after another.
mashedtater - 2009-06-25
onlookers sometimes remark on it still, saying that he carried his weight with a grace that reminds them still of a gentle jolly Buddha.

mouser - 2009-06-25
I would duck behind that fat slob with more confidence than I would behind Claudia Schiffer.

Though I'd rather have the later cuff me and cavity-search me.

spikestoyiu - 2009-06-25
Well, I see he's switched to Diet Pepsi. That should help.
voodoo_pork - 2009-06-25
Wash down that mega Subway hoagie with it.

Bozo - 2009-06-25
memedumpster - 2009-06-25
This is sad, I honestly believed that fat people had more respect for themselves than to become cops.
Big Beef Burritos Supreme - 2009-06-25
Hah. Just try and fire me for a health issue.
Jet Bin Fever - 2009-06-25
In that line of work, you definitely need to be able to move. They were completely justified.
glendower - 2009-06-25
Ah local news. Capturing all our awkward moments.
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