Toenails 
WHAT??? No "Palinfreude" tag? It took me all of three seconds to think up that term!!!
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Toenails http://wikibin.org/articles/palinfreude.html
Oh wait... I guess I didn't really come up with it after all. :(
Is "Bidenfreude" still available?
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Turrican
He's giving the fringes attention, alright.
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GusPlease
He really is like something out of a bad comic book.
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THA SUGAH RAIN
Glenn Beck wants to bang Sarah Palin so hard.
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Xenocide
Wait, did an unrepentant Bush supporter/apologist just pledge to hold "the constitution above all else?"
That's delightful.
Also: I love how he can't even get through his "WELL I'M NO PARTISAN I'M JUST A DAD" speech without partisan fact-twisting. If 89% of people believe in a God, it doesn't then follow that they all want "Under God" kept in the pledge, anymore than it follows that they are all Christians. Nor does it follow that atheists don't have a right to be mentioned in the news if they are in fact making news. By that logic, Glenn shouldn't have covered the tea parties, since they were organized and attended by a small group "on the fringes" who no doubt make up far less than 9% of the country.
Also, also, and here's my favorite part: Glenn uses the first half of this clip to explain how the media only reports on fringey weirdo extremists who are out of the mainstream.
He has since devoted countless hours of airtime to complaining about how the media can't stop talking about Sarah Palin.
Hm.
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Rum Revenge
I can hardly put the evil into words, but here goes...
"How come the news never reports on what doesn't happen?"
"30% of Americans have sold out their values. The rest of you are just like me!"
"Why does the free press give minority groups attention?"
*sob*
"The mainstream media doesn't want you to know that the mainstream is mainstream!"
*sob*
"It took a national politician to make me realize I wasn't the only one with a retard baby! Remember the good ol' days, when nobody gave two shits about Sarah Palin and didn't know what a bubblehead she was?"
(Palin-esque babbling covers up the insane mouth diarrhea momentarily.)
"We have a black president, so there's no more racism, don'cha know!"
*can only praise Obama by calling him anti-elitist*
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phalsebob
I'm glad Glenn hasn't given in to sensationalism. I know he's serious about that when he uses his muppet voice.
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Hooker
I would totally want to write for a newspaper that reports on what hasn't happened.
Breaking News! Many things have not happened today. They include, but are by no means limited to:
- Anti-gay rights leader engages in secrative homosexual behavoir
- New revelations of individual privacy being illegally infringed upon
- Pre-emptive war on another country
- Collapse of a major US bank or employer
- Hurricane destroys a major US city
- Evidence that the US intentionally engages in torture
- Planes fly into American skyscrapers, killing tens of thousands
But there's always tomorrow!
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Mostly Pi
What Glenn Beck fails to understand is that the news focuses on "fringe" groups because "fringe" groups are the ones actually doing things in the world that shape the future. That is, a minority of us actually do things worth talking about. Lawmakers= minority. Civil rights leaders= minority. Scientists, engineers & people attempting to increase the sphere of human understanding and push society forward, both culturally and intellectually= minority. "Guy likes Jesus" and "Couple bitches about Glenn Beck on the internet while drinking rum in their underwear" aren't newsworthy stories to a journalist, unless that journalist happens to be writing for The Onion.
Anyways, don't we already get enough fluff stories in the news already? "Guitar hero crazy sweeps nation". "People really like their local sports teams a lot". "Study shows New Jersey hates sweet potato pie". "Red Wine may lower/raise cholesterol in autistic children who play violent video games". "Kitten stuck in tree, jet-skiing squirrel could not be reached for comment". And when we're not getting that it's the same three or four "big stories" being repeated over and over by whingy basic cable chowderheads like Beck and vacant network anchorthings.
Isn't the real problem that there isn't a focus on investigating and reporting on a variety of actual news stories & not that there isn't enough coverage on the emotional opining of frightened WASPs who don't like that things these days aren't like they were back when kick ball was king, brittle rage was the only acceptable non-repressed emotion and the Irish were considered a national health concern on par with small pox?
This is really good rum, by the way.
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mashedtater
"beautiful, strong daughters"
anyone find that creepy?
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THA SUGAH RAIN
I want to see this imaginary news show that only features people who agree on every issue and then reports all of the news that didn't happen that day.
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Testicles of Doom
What the fuck is he on about?
Is there is a heaven, it will include slicing open Glenn Beck's throat, over and over again,for all eternity.
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tamago
If hell exists, O'Reilly, Hannity, Beck, Savage, Coulter, Malkin and all these other neocon talking heads will be forced to fellate and sodomize each other on that plane of existence.
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Sivak Sounds more like heaven than hell. Can we watch?
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