If I ever own a major corporation/television network/entire country, I will immediately hire a 4 year old child to pick apart the arguments of my opponents and see through any flaws in my plans.
I don't even think I'm joking, either.
Why not put O'Reilly in moratorium instead of Glenn Beck? Really, O'Reilly is just the same blowhard "I am outraged and interrupting!" schtick, but Beck offers up real live CRAZY and Alex Jones-esque paranoia to really give his inanity some flavor. And crying.
But still, this is pretty nifty.
Good. Now do Limbaugh and Coulter.
|Caminante Nocturno |
What Bill needs is for someone to pat him on the shoulder and tell him he doesn't need to be afraid.
You really have to read OReilly factor For Kids and Kids Are Americans Too to understand the true level of insane douchebaggery that he embodies. The books are these weird, rambling, unfocused talk-down-a-thons where BillO just endelessly pontificates and treats kids like total fucking morons. I know, you're saying "Well of course, it's BillO", but seriously it has to be read to be truly appreciated.
I would love to see the looks on the faces of teenagers as you read this shit to them in a class or something. Especially creepy are his chapters on how to deal with dating and the opposite sex coming from a guy who was sued for sexual harassment.
The bookstore where I work has a used copy of his work of fiction THOSE WHO TRESPASS, but sadly it's just a terrible book and not "good" terrible, though there are those great sex scenes. Also, there's some great parts where the main character confronts BAD GUYS and like in some weird, cheap movie the character talks for 10 minutes about how THESE GUYS ARE TOTAL SCUM before doing anything about it.
Can't believe I forgot about Daniel Pinkwater! The Hoboken Chicken Emergency was one of my fave books as a kid! Thanks for the memory jog!
Bill is doomed. In ten or fifteen more years he'll be the loony "liberalized" conservative on even crazier whacked out conservative talk shows arguing that the current conservative administration's policies aren't sane. People will watch him and say "man, remember when Bill was the crazy one?" Pat Buchanan syndrome.
I look forward to one of these kids in 20 years batting him around like a mouse on their news show.
Next time on the O'Reilly factor!
"BLA BLA CHILD ABUSE HURF BLUGH FAR LEFT MEDIA ATTACK UHH URR COACHING KIDS TO ATTACK FOX NEWS IS WORSE THAN TOUCHING THEM. "
cannot believe there's an o'reilly factor for kids book
|Doctor Arcane |
Motherfucker, I WANT SOME MORE ICE-TEA
You know, just the other day I went to a diner in a very white part of town and, wouldn't you know it, the people there actually WERE all "HEY M-FER I WANT MORE ICED TEA" and even called each other "niggers" which I thought was quite odd since they were not, in fact, niggers.
Overall it was a fairly poor dining experience so I went back to the blacker part of town.
I REALLY hope that's a true story!
Bullies are NOT cowards with no self-esteem! If anything, they have a CONFLATED sense of self-worth, which makes them think they can do whatever the fuck they want, whenever the fuck they want, however the fuck they want. Growing up Catholic (and for the LAST TIME...NO priest ever tried to touch me! If anything, they went out of their way to avoid me, but then, I WAS a tubby kid), with all the bullshit it fed me, I do appreciate the sense of HUMBLENESS and MODESTY it gave me. When one is naturally awesome, one does not need to be constantly reminded of it, nor do they feel the need to pick on the weak.
I guess what I'm saying is: BillO, you're being vinegar, and you'll be surprised how fast you'll get your motherf'n Iced Tea if you turned to honey.
Conflated doesn't mean what you think it means.
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