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Desc:Isn't that just precious?
Category:Fashion, Crime
Tags:white people, Emotronica, crabcore, the worst music ever made, step aerobics
Submitted:Old_Zircon
Date:07/23/09
Views:1766
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Comment count is 37
zatojones
if they're so energetic on stage why is the lead singer such a pudge pot?
mon666ster
Out-of-synch in-synch jumping and head banging. Nice.

Possibly qualifies for a "wails of the damned" tag though.
ShiftlessRastus
Don't forget running in place.

Stog
Is whiner rock an official genre yet?
zatojones
it's called "screamo"

Stog
Whiner rock is a far better name.

Riskbreaker
Give these kids a break, this is the only exercise they ever have.
The Townleybomb
Goddamn kids and their music and hair
Old_Zircon
I'd like to direct you to the hopper, where there's an interview with the lead singer of this band.

Comeuppance
Desperately needs the "white people" tag.
This is the whitest thing.
jangbones
I wish Johnny Rotten was in the crowd. He would be on the stage in seconds, a whirling dervish of rage and violence.
zatojones
I picture him like that crying indian in the anti-littering commercial. Imagine it - a whole stage full of these retards flailing around. A loose wrist band flies off. It bounces and lands at Rotten's feet. Single tear.

The Townleybomb
I would hope that Johnny Rotten would be above all that. He is old and has millions of dollars and no time for this damn crap.

teethsalad
would rather see resurrected gg allin

B_Ko
2:06 Holy cow the front man changed from a crab into a t-rex! No wait, he's still just a pudgy queer.

Goethe and ernie
Crabcore
chumbucket
crapcore

HankFinch
I'm old and don't understand.
What the fuck is crabcore?
GET OFF MY LAWN, I JUST FERTILIZED!

Robin Kestrel
5-starring because I agree with just how fucking terrible and stupid this is.

"Crabcore is a contemporary offshoot from the emocore/screamo sub-genre of hard rock music. Unlike almost all other genres and sub-genres of music, crabcore is defined not by aural motifs, tones, lyrical content, or specific instrument ensembles; but rather by physical gesticulations and contortions of the arms and legs of individual band members during live performances of their music.

Crabcore moves
Chiefly among the crabcore musician's repertoire of stylistic gestures is the crabwalk itself, from which the genre's title is derived. The crabwalk is identified by the player's extremely low stance, wherein both feet are set apart from one another as far as possible, while still allowing the player to maintain at least a 90 degree bend in his knees. While in the crab stance, the player then purposefully transfers the weight of his upper body between each leg, achieving a swaying motion intended to have a hypnotic effect among audience members."

HankFinch
oh, ok.
I kinda wish I hadn't got the answer.

ztc
How is it possible to get every single thing wrong like this
Stog
I hate this fucking band so much

Never have I heard such an unholy combination of techno and regurgitated alt-rock
Hegemony Cricket
You take that back, there is absolutely nothing alternative about their rocking.

Rather, it attempts to embody every convention of the last twenty years in one soul sickeningly tepid hodgepodge of future shame for all the attendees squealing with glee over the fatbody crouchers elevated before them.

That, and I'm old and keep forgetting that we all love at least a little horrific end-times crap like this when we're teenagers.

Because all teenagers suffer from high-degree of inherent stupid.


Udderdude
You forgot Brokencyde. But other than that, pretty accurate.

Scrotum H. Vainglorious
Did I hear autotune towards the end?
badideasinaction
My life is a little more angry having found out about crabcore. Five stars.
kelpfoot
In fairness to them, the low audio and video quality makes it hard to get a proper impression of the band. I'm sure they're much screamier and dirtier in person.
tamago
This passes for music??? Fuck you teenage generation.
Eroticus E
I'm 26, and when I see this, I feel like the world has passed me by.
memedumpster
I'm 34 and you little fucks deserve this as punishment for YOUR crappy goddamned music. I'm kidding, but really, this genre is terrible.

spikestoyiu
As someone who spent his teenage years and a solid chunk of his twenties playing in various hardcore, metal, and "post-hardcore" bands, I am seriously offended that any of those elements may have ever lent themselves to this.
godot
This is what happens when people listen ONLY to hardcore, metal, and "post-hardcore" bands. The earliest hardcore bands we all admire dug Coltraine too.

So much of the music these particular kids grew up with (and I'm looking at you, nu-metal) valued filling every available frequency at all times, and then was compressed in mastering to within an inch of its life. If square-waves on some sounds are good, why not all of them. If screaming some of the time expresses adolescent ... something ... why not all the time? Bad music spawning slightly worse.

I grew up with a lot of 80s art-pop and dub, which valued the space between sounds as much as the sounds themselves, which of course has its own perils. But that particular dead end is nowhere near as barren as this one.

ztc
This music makes me want to bite things

spikestoyiu
These kids were definitely not fed a steady diet of early Revelation and Dischord records. I don't know if these kids ever even heard of Revelation and Dischord.

Neurotic
Godot I find it interesting that you reference Coltrane, being one of the few jazz musicians noted for overplaying.

Secondly, calling the music kids get into shitty has been happening forever. Just because you can articulate what about it you don't like doesn't make it any different than saying "ALL RAP MUSIC IS JUST CLICKS AND WHISTLES". I don't like this shit either, but devaluing it instantly does us all a disservice.

Goddamned kids do need some Motorhead shoved up their asses though.

kwash
I like 0:16, where the bassist just stops playing bass for some reason.
Vicious
Stick Stickly? The Nickolodeon mascot?
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