Someone took the "fight against God himself" theme in those jRPGs and then made it sucks alot more.
"Your defiance knows no bounds, my sister."
"Brother and sister?"
"So Blair is the owner's sister."
When your masterstroke of villiany has about as much weight as nerds arguing about patch notes on an MMORPG forum, you know you've failed pretty hard.
Everybody is focusing too much in the plot to notice the real horror here: the character models. They all look like 8 year olds with really big heads.
That little girl looks like she hasn't eaten in weeks.
You guys haven't seen anything. On the PSP remake of SO2 (the good one of the series), they redid the portrait of the main love interest girl, making her look 11 (and nothing like her sprite). Best of all, they let you keep the "name yourself" feature, so she spends a good chunk of the game not using your first name, opting for "mr. Kenny." I couldn't get back into one of my favorite games because it felt like it was one big pedophile love story.
Even a sprite can get away with many things. But when you're doing 3d models, either you do them right or don't bother at all.
Hero: We deserve the right to live and die on our own!
Villain: Okay. (kills him)
Blair sounds like female Paul Lynde.
|Man Who Fights Like Woman |
Is that fucking jazz music actually in the game? Because if so that shows they probably realized it was totally ridiculous.
Also this game looks really easy, but that's probably because they guy playing it 'Sperged out to an extreme extent.
|Sudan no1 |
I liked SO2, so I tried this game. Almost instantly I concluded it was terrible.
I pity anyone who played through the whole thing.
Star Ocean 2 is probably one of my favorite RPGs of all time, despite being a button masher with a stupid plot. But compared to this game it was Shakespeare.
If I remember correctly, this is the only time you even see the main villain in the entire game. There is no further information about who you're fighting given anywhere else except this cut scene.
Yes and yes, Sudan and Redlof. SO2 might have been the most fun I've ever had with a console RPG.
There really is no way to describe what a total mess Star Ocean 3 was. The entire thing looked like an amateur Full Sail modeling & voice acting effort with dungeons constructed from RPGmaker.
The script sounded like what you get when anime otaku try to sound articulate. 90% of the dialog was characters repeating a stated point 50 times ("It's his sister?!!") punctuated by tough jock character jabbing his fists.
They took the button mashing but fast paced combat of SO2 introduced the thrilling mechanic of having to stand still for a couple seconds to attack.
The entire plot is a completely pointless cocktease. Intergalactic war has broken out! You're trapped under orbital bombardment! Oops now you're stuck on some primitive planet. Okay you go away from that 2 hours later. Oops you're stuck on ANOTHER primitive planet. No wait it's cool you'll spend the next 20 hours getting ready for this totally sweet medieval war it's gonna be awesome. Oops the war has been aborted by Deus Ex machina. Oops that Deus Ex machina has been eliminated by a second Deus ex machina. Okay now you're finally getting off this planet and back to the awesome space war from 30 hours ago...PSYCHE! Back to the primitive planet. Okay okay we really mean it this time you're getting off. Hey look, evil space angels fighting space ships and nuking earth that's cool right? Okay one minute of that is enough, time to reveal that reality is really just an MMORPG and dump you in the "real world" to storm the Phantasy Star online servers.
You get the feeling that the pointless 30 hours of bullshit filler in the middle was some kind of big meta joke about RPGs. Unfortunately the joke was on the player =(
I thought the ending to Bugs Bunny: Birthday Blowout was pretty riveting and thought-provoking.
I mean, Bugs Bunny's friends tried to KILL him, just because it was his birthday. Then, after a harrowing journey through strange worlds littered with carrot boxes and sentient pepper shakers, everyone is best friends again. What does it all mean? Red means pain, blueish-green means OK?
Dear Warner Bros: I will pay you real cash money to remake the ending to Star Ocean 3 with the Looney Tunes.
Chuck Jones will be the villain. His weapon is a giant eraser. Also I guess that cat Pepe Lepew keeps trying to rape can be his sister.
At the end they stop him but then Pinky and the Brain enslave the Earth and they all end up in camps.
I have nine dollars.
Ergo! Concordantly! Vis a vis!
|Caminante Nocturno |
Say what you want, but this is much better than The Matrix.
There are parts 2 and 3, by the way. IT GETS EVEN WORSE THAN THIS
The only thing that may come close to Star Ocean's Mrs Dash-like blend of ridiculous + outrageously pretentious may be something like...Xenogears redone with those Gerry Anderson marionettes.
Actually, strike that. That would be AWESOME.
I can honestly say I haven't played a true JRPG since FF10, an experience that scarred me forever on the genre I grew up loving. And it turns out, I made the right decision.
FFX is not a bad experience, leaving aside the cheese in several parts of the story. If you want a experience that will make you hate your tv play Xenosaga ep 1, it's "bad anime cliche 101" fest from beginning to end.
FFX was a good story dragged down by awful characters and pacing (run along this ROAD).
There is not a single aspect of this game that doesn't make your jaw drop over how someone considered this a professional product.
Even the soundtrack is atrocious. There's a theme for "touching" moments, but it's just some guy flailing meat hands on a piano.
(skip to 2:30)
That's a shame, because Sakuraba has done good stuff in the past.
I wouldn't be surprised if he turned in something decent, but they rejected it, wanting every possible aspect of this game to be the most awful amateur attempt possible.
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