Camonk No, woman, you don't have opinions! You're attracted to me. That's not an opinion; it's a pheremonal reaction.
Comeuppance There is literally nothing you can say to him that won't convince him you aren't sexually attracted to him. In fact, you don't even have to say anything - you just are. It's science.
cognitivedissonance Mystery is for us normal single guys what Sarah Palin is to the Democratic Party. He has dedicated his life to looking like a raving moron so that others may look smarter by comparison, and therefore, justify his own existence.
CaptainJesusHood Not surprising that a dude who dresses like an RPG character justifies his fashion choices by basically saying "I wear them for the stat bonuses."
Eroticus E It's called Peacocking, bro. Look it up.
Scrotum H. Vainglorious His Wiki bio states he was a hard core D&D player but he gave that up to pursue vagina.
phalsebob Vagina, that rarest of artifacts, more legendary than the Hand of Vecna. It is the object of entire LARP campaigns. And like the One Ring, as soon as you've slid it on, you spend the rest of the week trying to lose it in a volcano.
Dr Dim His shirt is a little bit worse than the goggles.
HankFinch Those are some pretty badass comebacks!!!
"in case you spit" *slides goggles on with stone cold stare
YEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!
ashtar. I would have at least a 60% chance of spitting on this guy if he said that to me. Way to think ahead, bro!
Phil It's good to see DJ Qualls can still find some work
StanleyPain This guy sure is concerned about men talking to him or looking at him or touching him. REALLY concerned. Seems to be on his mind a lot. He mentions it often. Very often.
mashedtater concerned like how you want that last piece of pizza, so you make a huge damn fuss about it.
mashedtater the man is becoming like a human katamari. what crazy item is he going to wear next? my feverish hope is for latter hose.
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