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Desc:That's fast.
Category:Stunts, News & Politics
Tags:apple, stealing, local news, sticking it to the man, smash and grab
Submitted:simon666
Date:09/07/09
Views:1668
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Comment count is 30
joelkazoo
I think they were coming back from the bar, were hungry, and went "Hey, APPLES!". Of course, once they got in there, the computers were a nice consolation to not getting any Granny Smiths or Red Delicious.

(That joke was too long, and for that, I apologize.)


Sudan no1
I thought it was funny.

joelkazoo
You're too kind, Sud!

Udderdude
Can you even attach those security cords to Macbooks? It doesn't seem like it.
fluffy
You can but they have basically no effect aside from a minor deterrent anyway. Although since MacBooks have metal casings they're a lot more effective than they are on most made-of-plastic Windows laptops.

I just love how the Apple Store is so style-obsessed that they refuse to even put up basic metal window shutters that would have easily prevented this.

Benzene265
Shatterproof glass would have prevented this, too. All the style with none of the theft.

Walker
fluffy - The lack of metal window shutters probably has more to do with the shopping center owner / landlord than the individual stores leasing the spaces.

RomancingTrain
Stop yelling.
baleen
HEY STUFF WAS STOLEN OMG THIS JOB IS EXCITING HOLY SHIT BROKEN GLASS THIS IS SO BETTER THAN THE UNCLE FLOYD BIRTHDAY PARTY FOR TODDLERS STORY I DID LAST WEEK REAL CRIME I AM LIKE A REAL PERSON SWEET GOD JESUS I'M GOING TO FUCK MY WIFE LATER AND SHE WILL LOVVVVE IT

dueserpenti
Dann Cuellar (what the fuck) is WAY too excited about this sexy, sexy crime. I expected to see them cut back to him with his shirt on inside out and smoking a goddamn cigarette.
Sudan no1
that would be the best SFW fetish.

MrBuddy
I'll bet he's a former auctioneer. Still those robbers aren't all that smart, they didn't get the manuals.

Aelric
Shake the crime stick!

Sudan no1
I thought they chained those things to the table. Well, they learned their lesson!
SolRo
This needs a link to the apple commercials talking about how easy the magnetic power cords are to remove from the laptop
Big Beef Burritos Supreme
Just look for the crack dealer with 23 Macbooks, 19 iPhones and 9 iPod Touches.
themilkshark
Every drug dealer has those.

Longshot-
In fact, i think my dealer has like 10 iPod Touches but only 20 Macbooks.

The Mothership
1:31 trouser check.
jangbones
South Jersey represent.

I used to live five minutes from there.
chumbucket
spectacular...but they were disappointed to find out that there was a tomorrow
The Townleybomb
Philly's channel 6 is pretty much the localiest local news channel ever.
RockBolt
Nothing like a bunch of heavily used demo laptops
Camonk
He LOVES describing clothes!!
memedumpster
"Hey, main, you wanna' buy a MacBook!? It's a 00 computer for only 0!"

"Does it have Snow Leopard on it with new malware protection?"

"Uhm, I don't know, besides, I heard that didn't actually REMOVE the malware, only..."

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!! NOT ONE OF US!!! NOT ONE OF US!!!" *unhinges jaw and eats fence's face*
boner
"Upscale shopping center" as opposed to "the mall where black people shop"
themilkshark
Good point, and that's EXACTLY what they were trying to say. The closet baby boomer racism of this era is hilarious.

Also, fuck Apple. I've had Apple computers since 2001 and they're overpriced crap. Next computer I buy is a PC, Jobs can keep his rounded edge retard computers.

simon666
Oh, come on guys/gals, your vulgar deconstructionism is misplaced. Your position glosses over, in typical colonial fashion, the social differences between "white baby boomers" and "black people." They both "shop" at the same mall, however, "shop" for each group "means," that is to say, is defined differently for each cultural group. Whereas the white baby boomers' "shop" tradition involves certain customs, such as availing one's self to a "location" at "specific times," the "black people," that you make your "other" are not limited by such historically rooted "tradition acts." This is particularly visible in the smashing of the glass door. For the black people, such "barriers" that "enforce" the historically oppressive "tradition acts" white baby boomers are irrelevant, and in this case demonstrate a sense of liberation not existent in current baby boomer culture.

Further reading can be done in the auto-ethnographical works of J-Dizzle, Toni Morrison, Lil'dawg and the traditional texts of Mary Louise-Pratt of the MLA.

memedumpster
simon666, you can defend Apple computers all you want, no one is on your side.

THA SUGAH RAIN
Just wait for the group of kids ordering 30 power adapters.
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