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Desc:Whelp, I'm conviced.
Category:Religious, News & Politics
Tags:obama, Illuminati, Taliban, anti-christ, bilderbergs
Submitted:Toenails
Date:09/08/09
Views:12241
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Comment count is 27
socialist_hentai - 2009-09-08
That woman doing the spooky voice... prozac? vicodin? valium? meth?
teethsalad - 2009-09-08
the drug is jeezus christ

she sounds just like all the old vagina-owning lutherans i grew up around at the church i had to go to as a kid

Jefka - 2009-09-08
That daffy broad is his wife... their infomercial-show-thing basically consists of her reading a bunch of headlines out of context and tying them into some larger point about how soon the rapture is starting:

"Oooh, this says 'Putin to meet with Iranian President'... That doesn't sound good."

Xenocide - 2009-09-08
She seems to regard herself as a kindergarten teacher and the viewers as her class. I don't think I've ever heard that term used to address anyone over the age of five before.

The fact that she explains what the word "polarizing" means backs up this theory.

Xenocide - 2009-09-08
heard that TONE, not term. Damn, now I'm going to have to go sit in the corner.

KnowFuture - 2009-09-08
A microbiologist friend of mine back in MI (Van Impes' home state) discovered the strain of Listeria bacteria that they were touting as the virus that would doom us all, based on pictures of it in the newspaper.

Syd Midnight - 2009-09-09
She's pretty hot considering she's in her 70s. Jack Van Impe is supposedly a nice guy, just extremely paranoid and excitable.

"I put a lot of stock in what Kissenger says because he's one of the lying bad guys" is classic Van Impe logic.

teethsalad - 2009-09-08
five for the cutaway to what's her name turning and nodding at the camera during van impe's speech
William Burns - 2009-09-08
MMMmmmm, yeeeaahhh.

Xenocide - 2009-09-08
So Obama is bringing us the greatest battle in the history of the world? There better be vikings. Riding whales. LAND WHALES.

Also: HOLY SHIT CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT THE PRESIDENT CHANGED SOME LAWS.
Riskbreaker - 2009-09-08
I kept waiting for them to make a point, basically things work like this:

-You read a bunch of headlines from newspapers
-You quote a bunch of bible pages
-Mix all together, fuck context
-HE'S THE BEAST! THE ILLUMINATI'S ULTIMATE WEAPON OF DESTRUCTION!

Also, "computer time", heh.
Udderdude - 2009-09-08
Your mom is the antichrist. Bitch.
Vaidency - 2009-09-08
I love how in fundy world "he comes in peaceably" is evidence of someone's insidious motives. Don't trust peace! It is a tool of the devil!
ProfessorChaos - 2009-09-08
1:06 - the woman accuses obama of using words she has never heard before.

He must be the devil!
Caminante Nocturno - 2009-09-08
Try to mimic his hand movements as you watch the video.
Doctor Arcane - 2009-09-08
When I was young, this was on right before something I'd watch late night. Rage TV maybe or something. I ended up watching the last 5 minutes a lot. They're aging pretty well, all things considering.
Innocent Bystander - 2009-09-08
This dude's got a serious case of the crazy eyes.
Space Helicopter - 2009-09-08
Obama wrote a letter to Osama Bin Laden? What did it say?
Caminante Nocturno - 2009-09-08
Where did he send it?

Hooper_X - 2009-09-08
Osama is like Santa. If you drop a letter in any postbox, he'll get it eventually.

Toenails - 2009-09-08
The Van Impes were an oasis back when I was so poor all I could afford was an antenna that only picked up TBN with any clarity.

I have to admit though, the wife has gotten extremely stupider over the years. There was a day when headlines would have not been so random.

In any case, to those that are viewing this page, I highly recommend visiting the userpage of the gentleman that uploaded this video. He goes by patriotscott70 and is very very hilarious in a conspiratorial way. Although I'm about eighty percent sure he's a troll of some sort, his video descriptions are very humorous in their statements and spelling.
rural - 2009-09-08
I had no idea this guy was still around. I have him on Vinyl from the mid 1950s addressing a congregation in Pennsylvania about "The Coming War with Russia" as predicted by Revelations. What's so great is that he uses the EXACT SAME scriptural passages as he does here. I wonder how many different "New World Orders" this one man has predicted using the same tiny fragments of text. He also used to name the location of Russian nuclear silos in Siberia (taken I presume from the news) and then find place-names that kind of vaguely sounded the same in Rev.

You go guy!
snothouse - 2009-09-08
She reads the news the way I picture most people reading the news.
Also: "Microchip everyone by 2017"?
Tobster - 2009-09-08
I grew up in an evangelical church and this is the exact same thing these people said every day of the Clinton era.
cognitivedissonance - 2009-09-08
KJV-Only Baptist here. My Ah-Ha Moment came when I realized these folks seriously fantasize about looking down and laughing at the people LEFT BEHIND, and I was instantly pulled out of it. I don't really know what sect I am these days, I just know that I'm not masturbating at the thought of the Tribulation.

John Holmes Motherfucker - 2011-05-10
Jack Van Impe's been doing this schtick for years, in one form or another, since Reagan at least.
Juice Eggs McKenna - 2012-06-11
Obama and the New World Order is a good concept for a panel show.
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