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Desc:Apocalypse: earthquakes, meteors, planes crashing into towers, black president
Category:Advertisements, Accidents & Explosions
Tags:9/11, over the top, 2012, OBAMAPOCALYPSE
Submitted:THA SUGAH RAIN
Date:10/05/09
Views:2129
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Comment count is 43
StanleyPain
I know I've mentioned this before, but just as a reminder because it irks me and I love mesoamerican archaeology:
The Mayan's never predicted the end of the world or said that 2012 is the end of time. Their long count calendar ends in 2012 because that's where they stopped calculating. The notion that they were saying it was the end of time or the end of mankind and all that traces back entirely to the new age movement of the late 1960s/early 70s, specifically Jose Arguelles, who started co-opting Mayan mysticism once translation of their writing had started to breakthrough around that time (although was nowhere complete or 100% accurate).

Nothing at all in Mayan lore depicts 2012 as anything negative.
takewithfood
So what you're saying is that they got it right by accident?

Time Travel Mishap
Not just that but the Mayans actually have predictions going way past 2012. They just don't have specific dates. They just say things like "in 7000 some odd years there will be a explosion or something"

Camonk
I keep trying to tell my students that, cause god knows you can't have a college composition class without some idiot bringing up 2012. It doesn't really work as well as I'd like.

simon666
Can you provide some evidence for what you're saying, Stanley? I only ask so I can better put down those who think 2012 is going to be like this movie.

Charles
I can't even pretend to be an expert on this subject, but as I understand it, the Mayans stopped calculating at 2012 not because it was the end of the world, but the end of an *era*, and if they tried to calculate anything past that, they would have to calculate an entire new era. I have no clue where exactly I picked that little tidbit up. Any input?

THA SUGAH RAIN
Camonk is a bouncer AND a teacher?

pastorofmuppets
Everything you need to know is right here:
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=3213449483968654266

StanleyPain
It's true that 2012 was the end of the 5th age.
There is a lot of debate as to the meanings of many things said by the Mayans in regards to the 5th age (in which they lived) and the 4th age. Some interpret alot of their historical writings to imply that they thought the 4th age ended with great cataclysms and an upheaval of the world and, as a result, they feared 2012 might repeat that. But those interpretations are a stretch, at best. The Mayans wrote up the calendar in very factual detail and just said "Welp, here's the calendar." Anything read INTO it has been put there solely by people taking various scattered remarks made in other histories from other eras and trying to link them to the calendar and that the priest caste said "Oh man, some shit's going down in 2012" but it's all a case of how you decide to interpret a complex language that is still only about 80% translated and understandable. It's like people who co-opt Egyptian mysticism without really understanding exactly what it means to adorn yourself in Eyes of Horus' or Ankhs, etc...

Charles
Wanna know what I think? Here's what I think, I think this:

Let's all just go about our lives as normal and then come back to the question in three years on 12/22/2012.

Woo!

Spastic Avenger
The Mayans did not stop calculating long count dates for the years after 2012. There are some dates in the very far distant future already set out in the long count; in fact if I remember correctly there are some for about 33, 000 years from now based on the convergences of two or three heavenly bodies. The important factor of the long count is that it is an accurate system with little time loss or gain, and it can therefore be used to predict the important astrological events important to the Mayan elites for a very long time to come.

spencer
I'm so happy this movie is coming out now. It'll provide a good way to casually dismiss any 2012-doomsday-prophecy-true-believers I encounter.
When they bring it up, I'll say "Oh yeah, that movie was pretty good. The special effects were awesome."
And when they try to explain the crackpot theories informing the movie, I'll feign ignorance and say "Dude, it was just a movie."
Camonk
I love this idea and I am stealing it for sure.

takewithfood
Will that work with The Passion of the Christ, too?

James Woods
Yes, Roland Emmerich may actually be on to something here. H fights for us.

Anti-Pope
I don't care how retarded it is. This looks amazing.
Charles
God, thank you. I'm always apprehensive of saying anything positive about this movie around my friends because they would never let me hear the end of it, but I liked Independence Day and even though this is not going to be good at ALL, I really want to see it.

SolRo
It's called a "Leave your brain at home" movie.

Being a little drunk and/or high helps too.

Caminante Nocturno
If you replace all of the melodramatic people with musclebound blond guys, this would be the perfect Dragonball Z movie.
j lzrd / swift idiot
Actually, you could just as well leave the melodramatic people in.

God this movie looks terrible terrible terrible.

THA SUGAH RAIN
If the rolling cathedral didn't get me, the island -tipping over and falling into the ocean- did.
Time Travel Mishap
The white house gets run over by a aircraft carrier.

THE WHITE HOUSE GETS RUN OVER BY A AIRCRAFT CARRIER.

Longshot-
I'm pretty sure that's California breaking off into the Pacific. Can't remember where I heard that spoiler however.

...If only...

j lzrd / swift idiot
Don't forget the tidal wave cresting over the Himalayas!

Rodents of Unusual Size
Knowing II: Electric Boogaloo
socialist_hentai
Stars for you.


voodoo_pork
I recommend the tag "OBAMACALYPSE" over its current incarnation.
spencer
I believe "Obama-pocalypse" is the portmanteau you seek.

RockBolt
I still wish they were marketing the movie like this-
http://www.poetv.com/video.php?vid=62503
Aernaroth2
Running from Cracks: The Movie!
Scrotum H. Vainglorious
What a spectacular CGI shitfest. I hope whatever 3D tech James Cameron pioneered for Avatar that he doesn't let it fall into the hands of Emmerich. Plus I'm pretty sure this is a dupe .
augias
THE EARLIEST CIVILIZATION GUYS
Udderdude
This is the best disaster porn ever.
pastorofmuppets
Nick Cage isn't available? Fuck it we'll just get that 80s guy that looks like him.
pastorofmuppets
(there was a time when I would have said Cusack deserves better billing than that, but that was before I saw him in the trailer for 2012)

Riskbreaker
I think this is the Katamari Damacy movie, just look at that rolling cathedral. The king of Cosmos seems to be pissed off for some reason.
Rape Van Winkle
Hahahahafuckyou

pastorofmuppets
This is the guy doing the Foundation movie. Make of that what you will.

Personally I didn't care for those books, but I was very young when I read them. But I'm guessing a fair few of you are going to have your souls crushed at some point.
zerobackup
Oh John Cusack, couldn't you have made Better Off Dead II?
zatojones
The Mayans were mankind's earliest civilization? The Sumerians would probably dispute that.

Also this movie looks beyond execrable.
memedumpster
I saw the trailer on the big screen. If it's two and a half hours of cities falling apart, I'm so down. I want to see that, with no dialog, just follow people running.
Syd Midnight
The trailers all blow if you've ever seen the mix with Bongolia music. They make me want to not watch the movie after the mix made me want to watch it.

YAY SPACE SHIPS?
YAY SPACE SHIPS!
poples
In a world where TIME is running OUT... ONE MAN will stand up and something something something.
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