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Desc:This game has a story mode, and it is glorious. You're in a secet brotherhood of hunters who send y
Category:Video Games
Tags:Hunting, rednecks, git r done, Cabela, shitty shit
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Comment count is 31
a flaming monkey - 2009-10-14
please finish the description.
chumbucket - 2009-10-14
..ou an invitation to join. But the initiation consists of living in a cabin in the woods for 20 days with nothing but Cabela thermal underwear. Every night you have to fight off an inbred family of backwood rednecks who want to gang rape you. Your only weapon is a turkey call.
Once you're in you are then tasked with finding and shooting every endangered species in all of North America. Unfortunately, the guns you get come with a load of frame rate defects and hit detection bugs. Good luck!

rapsnacks - 2009-10-14
I look forward to playing this in a terrible bar.
Caminante Nocturno - 2009-10-14
So, which one of them is Cabela? Is that the name of the character I'm playing?

Am I playing an elf?
Cena_mark - 2009-10-14
Cabela's is the greatest sporting goods store in the world. Even better than Bass Pro Shop. They're so big and awesome they're able to produce games.

Caminante Nocturno - 2009-10-14
I prefer my idea of a whisper-thin forest elf hunting with rednecks.

glasseye - 2009-10-14
I prefer the idea of a whisper-thin forest elf hunting rednecks.

kingarthur - 2009-10-14
For a Sporting Goods chain, they certainly forgot the hunter orange. Is there a friendly fire feature?

delicatessen - 2009-10-14


Also after "It doesn't get any better than this" I expected a cut to a scene of the two of them buttfucking. Didn't you?
socialist_hentai - 2009-10-14
yeah, i mean it's terribly gay for a game that targets rednecks. No hooters waitresses... nothing? It looks like what would have happened if that guy from Van Wylder had stared in Brokeback Mountain.

Sudan no1 - 2009-10-14

in the butt

SteamPoweredKleenex - 2009-10-14
I didn't know rednecks had "vitals vision." You'd think they'd be more prone to see through bras or something.
StanleyPain - 2009-10-14
These games fucking suck, too. My ex girlfriend's family were huge redneck dumbshits who ate these up like candy, so I played plenty of them. They're like mid-90s era FPS engines with a little more sophistication and paint and wide open spaces. You can choose all sorts of pointless garbage like what kind of clothes to wear and what gear to bring (even though NONE of it has ANY effect on anything) and then you just hunt animals in this awkward, retarded way. In the advanced mode, you have no way of knowing where the animals are; i.e. there are no gameplay mechanics to simulate tracking game. On the easier modes animals are on the radar or tracked for you and you just go up and shoot them. Some of them react mildly realistically, but not by much. That's basically it. The ones about "DANGEROUS ANIMALS" are identical only the animals come at you like FPS enemies and there are apparently a half-dozen different types of predators all living in the same square mile of forest.
Cena_mark - 2009-10-14

BillFisto - 2009-10-14
They can also be incredibly awesome if you play them "wrong". My brother used to rent 'em for some reason, so I'd spend most of my time with the games shooting guns too close to buildings, or trying to run over the animals on a quad in the games that featured quads. For some reason, the godlike narrator of those games hated people who did both of those.

StanleyPain - 2009-10-14
I will concede there is SOME fun to be had in the games. The ones that let you drive around on ATVs are fun since you can try and run down animals as much as you want, and the ones with bullet/arrow cam are entertaining since you can try your best to get as many ass shots as possible in one hunt and replay a bunch of great ass shots.

Xenocide - 2009-10-14
Just read the plot descrption for one of these games on Wikipedia.

It casts you as a "world famous big game hunter" whose best friend is killed by a bear. Like an inbred Batman, he swears to take revenge by destroying nature forever. Then you go through a bunch of levels where your goal is to kill a different mildly threatening animal. Watch out, moose! I'm guessing this all culminates in a final showdown with that bear in his secret volcano island headquarters.
Timothy A. Bear - 2009-10-14
Minus three stars for this not being 'Cabela's INDOOR adventure' where two drunk jerks rack up free Cabela swag by shooting the shit of Cabela's awe-inspiring extensive in-store stuffed animal dioramas.
dead_cat - 2009-10-14
Naw, Cabela's Indoor Adventure would be where the two rednecks stay home, watch tv together, drink beer, play hunting video games, and screw each other like rabid bunnies

Hooper_X - 2009-10-14
What is your favorite videogame, POETV user?

It doesn't matter. Cabela's Outdoor Adventure 2010 will make more money and sell more copies.

Unless you said, like, Starcraft or Mario or something, in which case MAN FUCK YOU I WAS TRYING TO BE EDGY AND MAKE A STATEMENT ABOUT THE VIDEO GAME MARKET HERE YOU DICK.
Cena_mark - 2009-10-14
Are you libs still waiting for Garrison Kieler's Prairie Home Adventure to hit XBox?

SteamPoweredKleenex - 2009-10-14
No need to be upset they never came out with that "Bibleman" sequel, Cena.

bopeton - 2009-10-14
Cena's posting again?

kingarthur - 2009-10-14
Ouch. That was a good one, cena.

zatojones - 2009-10-14
the hidden "Hot Coffee" like segment of this game is gonna be awkward
Testicles of Doom - 2009-10-16

CornOnTheCabre - 2009-10-14
RockBolt - 2009-10-14
boner - 2009-10-14
Halfway through the game you find yourself playing russian roulette in vietnam.
RocketBlender - 2009-10-14
One of my friends parents has a wii, and they got a Cabela's hunter game for it (don't remember which one.) My friend and I actually got some fun out of it. If you kill an animal that isn't in season, you get a warning about it, do it 3 times and it's game over. That counter resets at each checkpoint, so we'd kill off a pair of endangered species, kill the thing we're supposed to, hop across a small creek, and the wildlife preserve will give us 2 more free endangered species kills again. Good times.

Also, that game had boss fights. I'm not even kidding.
j lzrd / swift idiot - 2009-10-16
Told you this shit was fucked up. But, like those plastic fishes you hang on the wall that sing a song, there will always be a market until we drop the bombs.
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