abeli$con 
xanax and booze
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HP Lovesauce
I got a hangover just watching this.
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phalsebob
Was the music playing in the store? Maybe it was just making his inner ear dysfunctional? It made me a bit queasy.
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kiint
stars galore for 7:30
WHIJJ WAYSZZ UPPP????
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THA SUGAH RAIN
Hes like an alien with a broken human suit. 0:44 to 1:10 hes in some kind of space vortex. Then he just gets honestly frustrated with his inability to coordinate his war against gravity.
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memedumpster
He makes it look so natural.
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Torture the Artist
An important detail here is that this is happening at like 11AM.
The part where he stops to pick the beer back up is awesome.
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FABIO
I lived in a ghetto-ish Brooklyn neighborhood where approximately half a dozen passing cars would be blasting that song every day.
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RockBolt
How the hell did he even get there in the first place?
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Time Travel Mishap
This is the kind of thing they should show at court mandated alcohol class's instead of showing that damn lifetime movie about the guys who founded AA over and over.
Random TTM Trivia : I have been in court mandated alcohol class's but never had any legal issues with alcohol. I got busted with weed, was supposed to go to drug class's, and there was a mix up and I was sent to alcohol class.
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Sammy Barnathan
Daddy Cool.
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Stupid Lisa Garbage Face
The blue bowl haha
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Magical Man from Happy-Land
Syurp iz the thoedst drank ever.
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Adham Nu'man
A video of truly epic proportions.
3 minutes in I was almost yelling at the screen: "YOU CAN DO IT BUDDY, COME ON, YOU CAN DO IT".
I love this video so much.
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Hooper_X
Earmites.
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tenten
That is hate-your-liver drunk.
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CaptainJesusHood
I love his casual little hand motions. I can almost hear him telling the fat guy "duuude, I'm FINE. I tooold you. I'm good. Just gimme a second..."
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engrish muffin
aaawww... the first four minutes or so is like "the pup that can't get up" all over again! TURTLE DRUNK!!!
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Big Beef Burritos Supreme
8:30, he grabs a bowl of sugar sachets for support, and clings to them for dear life whilst invisible forces pull him towards a blackhole made of dense snacks.
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victorm
Somebody poisoned him!
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gambol
He tries awful hard to play it off around 4:15.
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e-Sensei
SYRUP IZ THE THOEDST DRANK
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Broose182
This was an adventure. I haven't laughed that hard in a while, thanks super drunk guy.
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infinite zest
Please vote down my submission of this same video in the hopper albeit with music by Neon Indian. T-Pain is a much superior musical companion :)
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pastorofmuppets
magazine...in...belt.
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sparklefatty
Whatever he's on went straight to his inner ears.
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Charles
1. WTF is up with the god damn timer at the top, and the freezing/timewarp parts?
2. WTF music?
I'm compelled to deduct stars for these things, but 11 minutes of straight beauty like this? The sequence at the end where he's trying to walk through the door is a million platinums by itself. Like he's wearing a giant scoop on his head while facing a brilliant headwind.
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JimL2 1. It is security footage, that's why there are timecodes (and at the bottom-left, an indication of what camera the feed is from). If I had to guess, they pulled this compilation for the police, and the freezing was done to obtain stills.
2. The music was added for humorous effect. It is popular music, dealing with the consumption of alcohol, and the otherworldly autotuning and slowed-down snap tempo probably gives an accurate reflection of this man's worldview at the time.
3. BLAME IT ON THE BOOZE -- GOTCHA FEELIN' LOOSE
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Sacks5thAvenButt
The little drunk that could
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StanleyPain
Someone underage built a remote control android to get them liquor at the store.
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Hooper_X It's actually two sixth-graders in an elaborate pantomime costume. One kid is controlling the legs, one kid is controlling the arms, hilarity ensues.
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j lzrd / swift idiot
Hey, we've all been there buddy. Just get up at your own pace. You're okay.
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Hooper_X
The nine most exciting minutes in the history of Big Larry's Stop N Gulp.
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Camonk
The difference between him and me is that once I hit the floor, I'd have given up for a couple of hours.
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Banal Intercourse
For the way the owner handled the situation, I hope the drunk guy gets into his car and promptly takes out the owner's children.
-1 star for the pauses and terrible music. If somebody can re-edit this together, even with no sound, it should top Garbage Day.
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spikestoyiu The music is of course terrible, but fitting in this situation. Look at the way his actions and the lyrics synch up at like 3:20. It's on some Pink Floyd/Wizard of Oz type shit.
I guess what I'm saying is, stop complaining about the fucking music already.
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citrusmirakel And besides: This guy deserves better treatment than that.
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FISTFULLofSOUL
Needs Slayer soundtrack.
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guitar_stitch
Why is the rum all gone?
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chumbucket
it's not specific if the time record is 10 am or pm...I'm hoping am
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CaptainJesusHood 1) Video timestamps are usually in military or 24 hour time, so 10 pm would have been 22:00:00.
2)Sunlight streaming through the front windows. Uh?
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Rudy
It becomes a little sad after he lost his 12er. It was his best friend.
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JimL2
At 3:10 he gives up on empiricism altogether and attempts to prove that it's possible for a human to stand up using only Socratic methods.
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The Townleybomb
MUST...START....LIMBO...PARTY
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kingarthur
The Convenience Store: A Homeric Odyssey
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kennydra
This is fucking amazing. An additional 5 ghost stars for music about date rape. yaaay!
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Persephone S. Tight
The last time I saw someone this fucked up, he died in my bathroom.
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athodyd
Shit, that must've been one hardcore LARP.
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Twitch
As a man well versed in recreo-chemicular knowledge, I propose that this man is having motor control issues not due to alcohol (entirely) but perhaps ketamine? He has made the amateur mistake of going into public while his brain was away from his body.
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ebola I was gonna say the same thing. You can't be that drunk and not passing out every time you hit the floor unless you are drunk-cheating with coke or on something else entirely.
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Twitch Heh drunk cheating. Good times!
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Paracelsus Look at him reaching for the floor with his feet. He can't feel the ends of his extremities.
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Wombles
Oh hahaha look at the blind man with an inner ear infection stumble around, isn't he hilarious!
You guys are so insensitive.
seriously though many better music choices. If nothing else imagine a yakkity sax loop.
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APE_GOD
Sorry, the music devoured all of my stars.
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elm axo
at 8:45 it looks like the Indian dude is lip synching :)
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Paracelsus
This is not just alcohol. A CNS depressant can't do all of this without him being unconscious. Benzos?
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Repomancer
The technical term for his condition is "obliterated."
And yeah, he had a little more than just booze. He'd have been passed out with his head in a puke-filled toilet if beer was all there was to it.
The old guy was talking on a cell phone as he left. I don't think he drove away. Seriously, much as I hate to say it, the cops needed to get called about the time he fell down in the aisle and couldn't get up.
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