|THA SUGAH RAIN |
BREAK FROM THE CROWD WITH MIRACLE WHIP ON YOUR CROSTINI OR PANINI
Yes, exactly! Exactly! I'm sick of how GRAMPA's mayonnaise keeps compromising! And grampa's like TURN DOWN THAT MUSIC and Miracle Whip's all, NO WAY OLD MAN
"When we're in a sandwich, a salad, a crostini or panini?"
Are these sex metaphors? I mean, "sandwich" and "salad" are obvious, but I'm not sure I know what a "crostini" implies.
I'm not sure I want to know.
Pretty sure it involves getting toasted first, whatever it is.
DON'T FADE INTO THE BACKGROUND! SLATHER EVERYTHING IN MIRACLE WHIP AND REFORMAT YOUR TASTE BUDS TO ONLY READ EXTREME!
You know, this could actually use a "90's" tag, and yet that would be incorrect.
these ads were made specifically for people who have never know a world without the internet
HEY YOU HEP CATS AND DADDIOS, MIRACLE WHIP IS A GAS! SO TELL GRANDPOP TO SCRAM!
|Plan B |
Ill-conceived marketing aside, this ad is just as inept as the old "tangy zip" ads at conveying what the fuck the product is supposed to taste like.
What DOES Miracle Whip taste like? The ads always wind up annoying me so much that I never try it.
It's basically mayonnaise with a lot of sugar in it and a "secret" blend of spices. Because of how it's manufactured (also super secret) it's lower in calories and saturated fat than real mayo.
Food snobs for decades have declared it white trash food that has no place in a real kitchen and it sort of has that reputation which I guess is why they are trying to hip-ify it now.
Nevermind, it's cheez-whiz that has worcestershire. We're either really great or really horrible at condiments, I don't know which.
|Big Beef Burritos Supreme |
I always thought this stuff was supposed to go with bologna and processed cheese on Wonderbread.
I guess that's what you get for believing TV...not that I'm saying I believe the new message it's as extreme as the entire Motley Crue overdosing on cocaine and burning a hotel down.
standing up for those of us with mayonnaise intolerance
|The Townleybomb |
At last, a sandwich spread that has Kill Yr Idols on vinyl!
They are seriously doubling down on this campaign, too. My local Acme is playing these commercials non-stop.
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