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Desc:Otherwise known as the Active Denial System being demonstrated on 60 Minutes
Category:Military, Science & Technology
Tags:ads, microwave, the seering agony of liberation, active denial system
Submitted:Big Beef Burritos Supreme
Date:10/25/09
Views:3019
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Comment count is 36
splatterbabble - 2009-10-25
Every time the pilot says "engage", the victim hears Paris Hilton talking about herself.
takewithfood - 2009-10-25
Cruel and unusual.

zatojones - 2009-10-25
beats shooting people. also beating them
phalsebob - 2009-10-25
Yes, I'm sure shooting microwaves at people is entirely safe. If we give this to them, cops will in no way abuse it.

Binro the Heretic - 2009-10-25
I think it's worse because it leaves no physical traces. This is destined to replace waterboarding as an "interrogation" technique.

Also, cops will be zapping restrained suspects just for shits and giggles.

Desidiosus - 2009-10-25
Rapidly skimming Binro's comment somehow made me think it read restraining jugallos, which I think would be an excellent idea.

memedumpster - 2009-10-26
This may be the very non-lethal weapon that inspires people to just open fire on cops for the fuck of it.

:)

j lzrd / swift idiot - 2009-12-14
I approve of the rule of law, but not these particular means to enforce it.

Officers of the law are alright in my book. Pig cops are not.

Doctor Arcane - 2009-10-25
So when will have my Gom Jabbar for use at drunken parties?
baleen - 2009-10-25
This is the best thing a network news program has ever done.
Camonk - 2009-10-25
This is meaningless and stupid. Everyone knows that "mississippi" is the proper way to count seconds.
simon666 - 2009-10-25
1 one thousand2onethousaBLARHFAEAJLKSJDLKASJDLKJ!!!@!@!!!
The Townleybomb - 2009-10-25
It sounded like he almost trailed off into "motherfucker" there.

delicatessen - 2009-10-25
This video also demonstrates how pain ray heals -- through laughter.
oddeye - 2009-10-25
Big deal, the NWO have been shooting pain rays into the tip of my penis for the past 25 years.
JimL2 - 2009-10-25
So... it doesn't go through plywood? Good thing that stuff's pretty hard to get.
Kumquatxop - 2009-10-25
I hope this ushers in a new era of protesters constructing suits of armor out of plywood and duct tape

Urist - 2009-10-25
I envisioned protestors marching in a tortoise formation with mattresses for shields.

Monkey Napoleon - 2009-10-25
The "pussy reporter" setting doesn't go through mattresses or plywood. I'm sure the thing goes all the way up to "bake like a potato."

j lzrd / swift idiot - 2009-10-25
SCIENCE!!!!
kingofthenothing - 2009-11-24
Good news, everyone.

j lzrd / swift idiot - 2009-12-14
TRUST US, FUCK THOSE SCIENTISTS, THEY JUST WANT TO USE THIS TECHNOLOGY TO MAKE HOT POCKETS AND REHEAT THEIR COFFEE; _WE_ CAN DO SO MUCH MORE!!

j lzrd / swift idiot - 2009-12-14
It took me five minutes to remember what cartoon character you're quoting, Kingofthenothing.

I see what you did there.

Caminante Nocturno - 2009-10-25
David Martin is a tough reporter.
Hugo Gorilla - 2009-10-25
Active Denial System is on the Curly setting.
voodoo_pork - 2009-10-25
A real tough guy would be standing there with a plate of frozen burritos.
j lzrd / swift idiot - 2009-10-25
"I SEEN COWS BURNED WORSE'N THAT AND STILL LIVE!"

Hooker - 2009-10-25
Looks like I'm going to have to start carrying a mattress everywhere I go.
Pillager - 2009-10-25
Or aluminum foil...

http://spiralbound.net/2007/02/07/defeating-the-governments-ac tive-denial-system

fluffy - 2009-10-25
Counting seconds faster doesn't make you able to stand it for longer.

I think this thing actually uses microwave beams. It's basically boiling the water on the surface of your skin.
j lzrd / swift idiot - 2009-10-25
Don't tell the aliens that our immunity to melting or exploding on contact with H2O is also a great way to boil us from the outside in.

Comrade Admiral - 2009-10-26
clearly the appropriate defense is to roll around in talcum then run naked and flailing at the police.

if you choose to scream while doing this, make sure you get plenty of talc in your mouth, don't want them burning up your tongue.

PurpleXVI - 2009-10-26
We need more journalism like this.

I also wholeheartedly support phalanx-formation protesters.
garcet71283 - 2009-10-26
Keep in mind, in standard military fashion, this is probably the highest declassified setting. It can probably turn you into a microwave burrito in a second if they turn it up all the way...
TeenerTot - 2009-10-26
Pfft. My dad invented this. He was in the army on radios/microwaves/missiles during the Cuban crisis. One day he pointed his microwave transmitter at a dude down the beach (just for a second). His CO yelled at him, but I suspect the incident began some real research.
Enjoy - 2009-10-26
I'd probably return fire with bottlerockets.
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