wtf japan      Do not ask a Christian for a light.
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phalsebob      Once again, it is impossible to discern parody from the actual.
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Walker      Wait... I thought Counting Crows WAS Christian music?
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Caminante Nocturno      Me crazy for Jesus.
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SixDigitDebt I'm going to use that response next time someone asks me for a light.
"I'm gonna let it shine!" *SMASH*
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Xenocide "Hey Joe, wanna go out for some wine?"
"No, thanks, I'm gonna turn water into PAIN."
(punch)
"Hey Joe, wanna look at pictures of boobies?"
"No way. If thine eye leadeth you to sin, pluck it out."
(plucks his eye out)
"Hey Joe, there's a giant whore in the sky riding upon a beast with a thousand foul names! Wanna go ogle her?"
"........yeah, okay."
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dementomstie      Wow, I've clearly not gone to church enough because I can't bite through CDs without them causing my mouth to bleed horribly and jagged pieces of plastic to go shooting into my mouth.
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SteamPoweredKleenex      The REAL "Cars and Babes" magazine wouldn't use Bodoni and University Roman for its masthead.
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Hooker      So if I have this right, music, television, decorations, and the opposite sex are all sins?
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Enjoy Only if you are mormon or jewish. Grace is not understood by those groups.
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Squeamish      YO LOCO POR JESUS Y DOORAGS
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Rodents of Unusual Size      This is what the people who raised me really believed. :(
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Rodents of Unusual Size Okay everything except that part since they all smoked.
But yeah, music is the devil? Totally.
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charmlessman      Well that's his problem right there. Green Day, Counting Crows and Pearl Jam? He was a pussy to begin with.
No Slayer fan would have capitulated to a trapper keeper falling from the sky.
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charmlessman OHHHH!!! You know the Slayer Fan's weakness! TELL GOD NOT!!
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Xenocide      I choose to interpret "love Jesus with all your heart" as "punch your friends and insult bands from the 90's."
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Sean Robinson      I like that he has a literal shrine to Marissa Wilson, a girl I'm fairly certain he was no longer allowed within 500 yards of.
Duder was already loco por fucking everything.
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kingofthenothing      He's going to become a Mexican monk now.
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oddeye Better level up so his fists do more damage and he becomes immune to time stop.
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Old People      Y'all know this is a joke, right?
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