kthorjensen      This was advertised on the strength of these physics.
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chaos owl    all three of these stars are for the "look down and see your tits" tag
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Mister Yuck     Everything I ever wanted in a video game as a kid, made awful. Fuck you game, fuck you to hell.
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revdrew      Games these days are lacking in wacky rubber weapons.
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Stog      Good lord, it's like breaking into a zoo and trying to skullfuck the lions while high on morphine.
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Stog OH MY GOD THIRD PERSON MODE: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VdRiKUcRxKQ
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phalsebob      How did she get butter on her fingers? Tell me slowly.
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Scrotum H. Vainglorious      Oh god I remember the print ads for this back in the gaming mags of the era. The damn shots they used looked like they used a time machine to bring Crysis back to 1998.
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memedumpster      I couldn't figure out why everyone hated this game so much until she started waving the gun around. I'm pretty sure Paris Hilton would have more stable aim than that.
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Camonk      This is a goddamned horror show.
Also, I remember in the movie the velociraptors were way more scary. Nobody beat one to death with a novelty policeman's baton from the 1930s.
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Hugo Gorilla      11 year old review of Trespasser.
http://www.oldmanmurray.com/longreviews/726.html
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boner      This game has no redeeming qualities, none.
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oogaBooga Bullshit, it's the most entertaining game ever.
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abeli$con and suddenly i was remembering what i liked the least about omm
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Rovin Do tell us more about the evils of Hollywood and Sam Raimi.
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FABIO     This should have been the perfect game for any boy. How do you fuck up tits, guns, and dinosaurs?
Though I still don't get why the physics puzzles were reviled here while Half Life 2 was lauded as the best game of all time. Except for wobble arm, the physics were exactly the same.
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FABIO Crate stacking vs cinder block stacking
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Keefu you stacked cinder blocks for a single puzzle in the beginning and it took about one minute, you fucking idiot
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Caminante Nocturno      What are you guys complaining about? This game is hilarious.
Look at it.
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papa_november      hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup
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Yellow Lantern      8 shots.
BLAM!
7.
BLAM!
6.
Is it just me, or does that break the immersion way more than a HUD would?
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Caminante Nocturno Not really. I think it's keeping in character with a noodly-armed woman who enjoys stroking dinosaurs with bats.
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oogaBooga      Funny you should mention...
http://www.youtube.com/user/oogaboogan#p/u/7/kTAZ9XbEwH8
I only have the demo. I really, REALLY want the full version.
In this video i kill a velociraptor by raking the barrel of an empty shotgun across it's mouth.
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Magical Man from Happy-Land      ok whos going to activate the "look down and see your tits" tag
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phydeaux      Sorry boss, all we gots is forward kinematics
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Syd Midnight      Looks like a software company bit off a little bit more than they could chew
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Vicious      As soon as she picks up an object she forgets what an arm does.
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Harveyjames      I watched some redneck bear do a Let's Play of this- one of the few actually entertaining and watchable Let's Play's I've seen- and he revealed a well-meaning game with some pretty interesting storytelling and design choices, though it's ludricrously flawed, of course.
There's a puzzle in this which Steven Spielberg himself designed where, if you complete it, a certificate pops up on screen saying 'Thank you so much for playing my game! - Steven Spielberg'.
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thebaronsdoctor      The interface of this game is akin to using a limp pool noodle to pick things up
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