This was advertised on the strength of these physics.
|chaos owl |
all three of these stars are for the "look down and see your tits" tag
|Mister Yuck |
Everything I ever wanted in a video game as a kid, made awful. Fuck you game, fuck you to hell.
Games these days are lacking in wacky rubber weapons.
Good lord, it's like breaking into a zoo and trying to skullfuck the lions while high on morphine.
OH MY GOD THIRD PERSON MODE: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VdRiKUcRxKQ
How did she get butter on her fingers? Tell me slowly.
|Scrotum H. Vainglorious |
Oh god I remember the print ads for this back in the gaming mags of the era. The damn shots they used looked like they used a time machine to bring Crysis back to 1998.
I couldn't figure out why everyone hated this game so much until she started waving the gun around. I'm pretty sure Paris Hilton would have more stable aim than that.
This is a goddamned horror show.
Also, I remember in the movie the velociraptors were way more scary. Nobody beat one to death with a novelty policeman's baton from the 1930s.
|Hugo Gorilla |
11 year old review of Trespasser.
This game has no redeeming qualities, none.
Bullshit, it's the most entertaining game ever.
and suddenly i was remembering what i liked the least about omm
Do tell us more about the evils of Hollywood and Sam Raimi.
This should have been the perfect game for any boy. How do you fuck up tits, guns, and dinosaurs?
Though I still don't get why the physics puzzles were reviled here while Half Life 2 was lauded as the best game of all time. Except for wobble arm, the physics were exactly the same.
Crate stacking vs cinder block stacking
you stacked cinder blocks for a single puzzle in the beginning and it took about one minute, you fucking idiot
|Caminante Nocturno |
What are you guys complaining about? This game is hilarious.
Look at it.
hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup
|Yellow Lantern |
Is it just me, or does that break the immersion way more than a HUD would?
Not really. I think it's keeping in character with a noodly-armed woman who enjoys stroking dinosaurs with bats.
Funny you should mention...
I only have the demo. I really, REALLY want the full version.
In this video i kill a velociraptor by raking the barrel of an empty shotgun across it's mouth.
|Magical Man from Happy-Land |
ok whos going to activate the "look down and see your tits" tag
Sorry boss, all we gots is forward kinematics
|Syd Midnight |
Looks like a software company bit off a little bit more than they could chew
As soon as she picks up an object she forgets what an arm does.
I watched some redneck bear do a Let's Play of this- one of the few actually entertaining and watchable Let's Play's I've seen- and he revealed a well-meaning game with some pretty interesting storytelling and design choices, though it's ludricrously flawed, of course.
There's a puzzle in this which Steven Spielberg himself designed where, if you complete it, a certificate pops up on screen saying 'Thank you so much for playing my game! - Steven Spielberg'.
The interface of this game is akin to using a limp pool noodle to pick things up
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