Chill with the laser pointers. Also needs a "white people" tag.

'This is not a normal fist'. Yeah, most have not been inside your own ass while crying and saying the rosary to deny your homosexuality.

Plus: Jazzersizing.

Reciting things is the worst part of being Catholic. I can't imagine wanting to do it outside of church.

Did he fill...an amphitheater?

Fuck this shit.

I was raised Catholic in Topeka. I went to NCYC in St. Louis in the early 2000's.

Shortly into the trip I began to feel unwell. It hurt when I breathed. I was sharing a hotel room with three other guys and shortly after we had turned in for the night I sprang from bed and headed straight for the bathroom. I stripped naked and sat on the toilet, fighting the growing urge to vomit. When that urge finally became clear it would not be suppressed I didn't even have time to react. I was still sitting on the toilet stark naked. I threw open my legs and began to vomit between my legs, all over my penis and testicles. Revolted by this I stood up and moved to the sink.

A large group of us earlier that evening had trouble finding a place to eat. We ended up at a relatively fancy restaurant and I ordered a small pizza. Without time to fully digest this pizza was coming up in chunks, and as I filled the sink with my sick I thought that it would clog the drain, so I maneuvered to the shower. Realizing that I was clogging the shower drain I moved back to the toilet for the remainder of my heaving. The aftershocks of my retching subsiding, I surveyed the damage. The toilet, the sink, the shower, the floor and myself were covered in vomit.

I used all the available towels, rags, toilet paper, and tissues to sop it up best I could, dry heaving the whole time, stuffed it in the trash can, tied up the bag, went into the hall, threw it as far as I could down the hall, and passed out in bed. I spent the rest of the trip in the hotel room.

It was during this seclusion that another odd thing occurred. One afternoon when there was a knock at the door. I answered it, and there was this smoking hot blond MILF, who explained that she was a flight attendant and would be sleeping during the day and leaving for a flight late that night and wanted to alert her neighbors that it would be nice if noise could be kept to a minimum. I told her I was sick and wouldn't be making much noise myself. She smiled, thanked me and went back to her room. I thought to myself that this was just a bit odd, but didn't give it much though.

I'm not an adventurous man, and I don't regret many things in my life, but GOD DAMMIT.

Anyway, ended up I had Pneumonia and mono. At first I thought it was food poisoning from the pizza.

Isn't this grounds for formal excommunication?

This might be enough to get me to join up with Mel Gibson's radical traditionalists.

This was this year.

Timeless in its ability to embarrass.

This guy's website is a micro POE exhibit. Specifically, the shots of him dancing with the best buy mascot.

http://www.djbilllage.com/

Oh yeah, and he registered this domain and set up a store.

http://www.catholicdance.com/

Thank nonexistent God that I'm surrounded by Cajun Catholics. They'd look at something like this and say, "Fuck this shit" and go out and get drunk. Maybe have an illegitimate baby while they're at it.

You catholics need to stop drinking cats and go to rehab.

i've always hated dane cook.

So this is the modern catholics' "draw a fish in the sand" thingy?
Lame.

I thought nothing could be creepier than Dane Cook, but I hadn't considered Catholic Dane Cook.

I would have thought the catholic dance would have had more moving from standing, to kneeling, to sitting, and back.

So close to the edge of humor yet so infinitely far. That is the final description of all Christian "comedy."

AND WOULD YOU FUCKING CHILL WITH THE LASER POINTERS, PEOPLE?? HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO ASK?