I only have one question:
Another movie ruined by Nicolas Cage's awful hair.
So is Bruckheimer just going to make movies based on various titles and phrases associated with Disney from now on?
NICHOLAS CAGE IS A SINGING DUTCH BOY IN:
IT'S A SMALL WORLD
NICHOLAS CAGE IS THE HIPPO, AND ALSO THE GUY WHO SHOOTS AT THE HIPPO IN:
NICHOLAS CAGE IS BARACK OBAMA, GROVER CLEVELAND, AND MARY TODD LINCOLN IN:
THE HALL OF PRESIDENTS
NICHOLAS CAGE IS TEDIOUS IN:
THE 70 MINUTE LINE
NICHOLAS CAGE IS A GODDAMN MOUNTAIN IN SPACE EVEN THOUGH THAT MAKES NO SENSE IN:
NICHOLAS CAGE IS THE FUN AND EXCITEMENT OF FLYING DELTA AIRLINES IN:
THAT ONE RIDE SPONSORED BY DELTA AIRLINES THAT NOBODY LIKES
SEE ALL SIX FILMS, GET FREE LARGE POPCORN TOPPED WITH YOUR GODDAMN HONEY.
|Big Muddy |
Ferrari accident on the set. They clipped a lightpole that landed on some dude's leg, but THANKFULLY the Sbarro looks unharmed.
I thought this was some Harry Potter mashup video, until it slowly dawned on me that "No, this is an actual thing. This is an actual thing somebody is doing."
At this point I think it would take gay porn or something along those lines to sufficiently kill Cage's career.
Well at least they didn't try to jam in a scene where a bunch of marching brooms flood the placeOH FUCK MY GOAT THEY DID.
A Dr Strange movie with this budget, using Ditko's art as a reference and no Nicolas Cage whatsoever ... that would be cool.
Eenie meenie miney MAAAGIC!!! *green lightning*
|Rodents of Unusual Size |
This is not your father's Sorcerer's Apprentice. This time, it's personal.
Starring: Nicholas Cage reading off of cue cards
Coming soon: Sorcerer's Apprentice: the Book on Tape
This is not your father's Sorcerer's Apprentice Book on Tape. This time
|Hay Belly |
With a name like Turteltaub, how can it fail?
ps I want to have your babby Xeno
Five for awful. I can't believe they couldn't find a precocious eight year old to be the apprentice.
They still haven't done the third national treasure movie right? Just a matter of time.
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