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Desc:The highly-anticipated Nicolas Cage autobiography we've all been anticipating!
Category:Classic Movies
Tags:Disney, Nicolas Cage, Jerry Bruckheimer, the sorcerers apprentice, The Wicker Man reference
Submitted:Anonymous
Date:12/10/09
Views:1190
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Comment count is 21
Riskbreaker
I only have one question:

howidgetburn?
GlennFinito
Fireball! (Throws tennisball)
Fireball! (Throws tennisball)
Fireball! (Throws tennisball)

magnesium
Another movie ruined by Nicolas Cage's awful hair.

So is Bruckheimer just going to make movies based on various titles and phrases associated with Disney from now on?
Jefka
I'm more bothered by the weird pedo vibe from the presumed plot. Like that pbf comic:

http://pbfcomics.com/?cid=PBF211-Atlantis.jpg

kingarthur
Frightening, but I kind of look forward to Mr. Toad's Wild Ride.

Xenocide
COMING SOON:

NICHOLAS CAGE IS A SINGING DUTCH BOY IN:

IT'S A SMALL WORLD


NICHOLAS CAGE IS THE HIPPO, AND ALSO THE GUY WHO SHOOTS AT THE HIPPO IN:

JUNGLE CRUISE

NICHOLAS CAGE IS BARACK OBAMA, GROVER CLEVELAND, AND MARY TODD LINCOLN IN:

THE HALL OF PRESIDENTS

NICHOLAS CAGE IS TEDIOUS IN:

THE 70 MINUTE LINE


NICHOLAS CAGE IS A GODDAMN MOUNTAIN IN SPACE EVEN THOUGH THAT MAKES NO SENSE IN:

SPACE MOUNTAIN


NICHOLAS CAGE IS THE FUN AND EXCITEMENT OF FLYING DELTA AIRLINES IN:

THAT ONE RIDE SPONSORED BY DELTA AIRLINES THAT NOBODY LIKES


SEE ALL SIX FILMS, GET FREE LARGE POPCORN TOPPED WITH YOUR GODDAMN HONEY.

Cleaner82
Mmmm. Goddamn honey corn.

Rodents of Unusual Size
I just wanted to say I love Xenocide.

Big Muddy
Liquorman
moldprince
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NEXG8Pt0PI4

Ferrari accident on the set. They clipped a lightpole that landed on some dude's leg, but THANKFULLY the Sbarro looks unharmed.


kingofthenothing
I thought this was some Harry Potter mashup video, until it slowly dawned on me that "No, this is an actual thing. This is an actual thing somebody is doing."
StanleyPain
At this point I think it would take gay porn or something along those lines to sufficiently kill Cage's career.
Cleaner82
It's a close call but I think Nicholas Cage in the world is a net gain.

Xenocide
Well at least they didn't try to jam in a scene where a bunch of marching brooms flood the placeOH FUCK MY GOAT THEY DID.
poorwill
A Dr Strange movie with this budget, using Ditko's art as a reference and no Nicolas Cage whatsoever ... that would be cool.
Cleaner82
Eenie meenie miney MAAAGIC!!! *green lightning*

Rodents of Unusual Size
This is not your father's Sorcerer's Apprentice. This time, it's personal.

Starring: Nicholas Cage reading off of cue cards

Coming soon: Sorcerer's Apprentice: the Book on Tape

This is not your father's Sorcerer's Apprentice Book on Tape. This time

(jamming music)


Hay Belly
With a name like Turteltaub, how can it fail?

ps I want to have your babby Xeno
memedumpster
Five for awful. I can't believe they couldn't find a precocious eight year old to be the apprentice.
Camonk
Oh well.
Riskbreaker
They still haven't done the third national treasure movie right? Just a matter of time.
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