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Desc:Uwe Boll talks about kicking Kyanka's ass
Category:Sports, Humor
Tags:boxing, nerds, uwe boll, lowtax, kyanka
Submitted:Chancho
Date:12/18/09
Views:2032
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Comment count is 35
spikestoyiu
Was the crybaby post-fight interview with Lowtax ever posted here? Because that is truly something special.
Jellyneck
Lowtax's interview is here: http://www.poetv.com/video.php?vid=7262

IrishWhiskey
Of course he has no idea how bad this makes him look. He also has no idea how bad his movies make him look. Which is why people criticize him "no matter what I do".

spikestoyiu
This definitely elevated Uwe in my book. Not enough to ever watch a single one of his movies, but still.

fermun
Oh come on, Postal was great. Watch that, don't bother watching anything else though.

IrishWhiskey
A professional boxer sadistically beats the crap out of an internet nerd for valid criticism, and then acts smug about it. Even if it were happening to someone I truly hated (I don't know much about Lowtax) I'd still think the person doing it was slime. That he's doing it as part of his "all my critics deserve to be hurt because they lie out of jealousy for my perfection" fantasy only makes it worse. But then, its not like he could go much lower in my esteem anyway.

spikestoyiu
First of all, training in boxing does not make you a professional boxer; as far as I know, he was never compensated for competing (which is what makes you a professional.)

Second of all, Lowtax fell for it. No matter how bad Uwe's movies are, Lowtax got played by an alleged idiot... and punched repeatedly in the process, all while proving pretty much every Internet user stereotype in the book.

IrishWhiskey
Newspapers describe him having had a "semi-professional" career and he brags at the beginning of the video that he used to beat real boxers with ease and knew the critics he was fighting posed no threat. Whether he got compensated in this fight is just semantics, when the point is how much he outclassed them.

I've no interest in getting into a protracted debate as there's more than one valid opinion, and I don't deny that they were dumb to agree (unless they were told it was a casual publicity stunt, which I certainly wouldn't rule out). But any boxer who knowingly picks on weaker people for no good reason is a dick, whether they agreed or not. Beating up on the weak and stupid to make themselves feel better about their own personal failings is exactly what bullies do.

Chancho
Makes him look bad? A doctor of literature beating the shit out of arrogant manbabies looks awesome to me!

I've never seen an Uwe Boll movie but I think it's time I did.

Candlejackv616
I'm a lil disappointed he didn't mention Seanbaby and how he wouldn't fight him cause he's...whats that word again?...oh yeah, a bitch=D

spikestoyiu
And Lowtax fell for it. Advantage: Boll. And also me.

SharoKham
The participants in this boxing thing were told it was going to be a whimsical event and that everyone would get equipment and training. That turned out to be a lie.

klingerbgoode
Lowtax VS Uwe Boll

No matter who won, everybody involved is still a loser.
phalsebob
Really? As I recall the whole event was win/win, and apparently it's still paying off.

klingerbgoode
It's like that old Mad Magazine strip.

"When you outbid the other auctioneers for that marble bust of Jim Nabors, You're A Winner and a Loser!"

Syd Midnight
Lowtax deals with stuff by yukking it with goons. And the match wasn't so much "Lowtax does something to amuse goons" as "Lowtax clowns his way out of a richly deserved physical beating at the hands of an angry and powerfully built German and walks away with only a sore jaw." So it's an anticlimax no matter what.

memedumpster
I love Uwe Boll. Postal was the funniest movie I have ever seen. He trolls the entire planet with his movies.
IrishWhiskey
I haven't seen Postal, though I might give it a shot. But I think to be a troll he'd have to be deliberate, whereas he seems sincerely deluded. The "Alone in the Dark" commentary was indeed hysterical, but not in an intentional way.

Time Travel Mishap
Yeah I seriously doubt any thing about this man is an act. He really thinks his movies are the greatest thing ever made by humans. But as irish pointed out they are apparently all worth it for his DVD commentary. I have not seen any of them yet but apparently in his Alone in the Dark commentary he just sits ther through the whole thing and does pretty much nothing except point out how genius each scene and then explaining exactly what is wrong with the human race that makes us unable to recognize his genius.


The rest of the commentary is devoted to complaining about how Tara Reid wouldn't get naked for him. Seriously.

Time Travel Mishap
Oh and he spends a lot of time in his commentary screaming at his dogs to stop barking.

Keefu
"Postal was the funniest movie I have ever seen"

haha

Hooker
I've seen every available Boll movie from House of the Dead onward and listened to the commentary for each one that has it. Among other things:

- American women (Tara Reid in particular) are stuck up bitches that "won't do nudity." He also had this complaint with Kristanna Loken and her replacement in BloodRayne II, Natassia Malthe.
- His movies are great because they're normal people, not people with super powers. Except that half of his movies have super-powered people.
- Westerns from Italy are called Itallo-Westerns.
- His mom phones him at one point to tell him about, I think, a two-for-one deal on motorbikes.

A couple other notes:
1) Postal is not Boll's best movie by any standard. Anyone that thinks so is dumb.
2) I was also at the Raging Boll event where he beat up Lowtax and some other idiots. Lowtax tried to keep doing idioc comedy the whole time and Boll just kept punching him until Lowtax just gave up. The other three, one of whom was like 16, all stayed in the fight and, as far as I know, didn't whine about it afterwards.

William Burns
I have no problem with a professional boxer sadistically beating the crap out of an internet nerd for complaining about his movies. Shit got real, dogg!
PurpleXVI
Boll seems like an incredibly personable guy. I like him. Might loathe his moviess, but I'd hang out with him just to get more of that accent.

Plus his opinions on film stuff are pretty reasonable.
Candlejackv616
If by reasonable you mean deluded, then yes he's incredibly reasonable. So reasonable in fact that's why he rambles on an audio commentary on and off about why a low rent actress wouldn't show her tit's in a shit adaption of another video game he knows nothing about...yep them's some pretty reasonable opinions/views on the art of film, oh Dr. Uwe opening so many eyes!

Hugo Gorilla
You're still a cynical and shitty movie maker, Herr Boll.


klingerbgoode
That's Herr Doktor!

Hay Belly
I love seeing you guys get all huffy about SA. It's so predictable, you're like a bunch of hens angry at a sleeping cat. It's a popular and funny site started by a geek why all the hate? Who cares about what Lowtax does?
Randroid
Protip: Befriend Lowtax and eventually become an admin, then after moving into his basement delete the forums.

spikestoyiu
I'm... still trying to figure out that metaphor.

Syd Midnight
I'm pretty sure that's happened at least twice.

Riskbreaker
Uwe Boll is a bit less retarded german Chris Chan, just with more money and who actually knows how to fight. I'm all for people trolling in smart and clever ways, this guy doesn't know how to do that.
Camonk
Five just for people here having so much opinions on Lowtax, which Boll movie is the best, whether they want to have a beer with Boll or not.

Never change, bros.


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