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Desc:Hey There Stud. Do You Like Horses? That's Nice.
Category:Horror, Horror
Tags:uncanny valley, somethingawful, Roxxxy, sex robot, build a bitch
Submitted:Pillager
Date:01/11/10
Views:7194
Rating:
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Comment count is 38
pineapplejuicer
i...this...hmmmmmm
zatojones
balls full of jet fuel
MongoMcMichael
Awww, Mature Martha is so elderly and matriarchal and care-giving!
kiint
http://www.poetv.com/video.php?vid=41712

clone unsuccessful
operation_cannonball
Nothing so ridiculously teenage and desperate.
Nothing so childish.
...
Sleeping well.
No bad dreams.
...
Still kisses with saliva.

Xiphias
Do you know what turns me on. A pig in a cage. On antibiotics.

ron paul revolution
All that's missing is the 2010 lieberal chick model.

"My favorite show is Sex in the City. Do you know what gets me hot? "Slick" Willie Clinton and having serial abortions! MMM, do me, big boy."
bongoprophet
are you... are you trying to troll?

Killer Joe
Haha! Yeah! More like, "I like soccer!"

Raggamuffin
They say bad art is more tragically beautiful than good art since it documents human failure. The same could be said about the trolling.

The video gets 5000 tons of stars up its hoo ha

glasseye
I've seen some bad attempts at trolling here, but this one is just downright baffling.

pastorofmuppets
I was waiting for Roxxxy to show up on here. The website is great. It's like every other infomercial/single product website but instead of "buy kitchen knife set" on the left it says "buy sex robot." Then I wanted a sandwich, so I put a matter cube into my nano-constructor and set it to Reuben.
Chizmurder
"9 to 11 was an inside job. I am an anglo so I didn't get the call."

I suppose if you are the kind of person to fuck a robot, you probably would want it to talk about conspiracy theories.

"Did you know that space craft aliens crashed in desert? In the area of 51. The US is hiding truths. Oh. OOh. Nice wiener."
fatatty
For some reason they think the ideal female is a Cro-Magnon woman. At least her mouth looks always ready.
RomancingTrain
This is quite possibly the worst way to eulogize someone.
Killer Joe
I... just got to that part. I feel sad now.

pastorofmuppets
I wonder...will I orgasm?
chumbucket
"The Enrichment Center promises to always provide a safe testing environment. In dangerous testing environments, the Enrichment Center promises to always provide useful advice. For instance: the floor here will kill you. Try to avoid it."

Candlejackv616
LMAO whoever overlapped those monotone robot voices over the video is a genius.
BHWW
Only one thing is missing from this video: the use of explosives to destroy these infernal devices.
1394
Whoa wait what something funny from SA?
tamago
Good god this thing sounds like a cranial intrusion victim. Also, what is this thing's obsession with jet fuel and soccer?

WHAT THE HOLY FUCK?!? Did it just say it died in 9-11 and used to be a man? Why do I have a feeling someone from 4Chan programmed this thing? Its name is even similar to Boxxy.


The Townleybomb
You pick up on things very very quickly.

Pillager
http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/roxxxxy-love-robot.php


fatatty
"I had a friend who passed away in 9-11," Hines said. "I promised myself I would create a program to store my friend's personality, and that became the foundation for Roxxxy True Companion."

God I hope that's true.

Candlejackv616
Soooo...his friend was into molten steel and soccer!?

wtf japan
I think this means we've officially moved on.

phalsebob
There is only one thing truly shocking about this, and that is that the sex robot tag is not activated.
Pillager
Sex was the very last thing on my mind when I laid eyes on that plastic, embalmed looking, dead eyed abomination.



pastorofmuppets
I am going to get one of these, then I am going to fly to Mars and be an asshole to it and weep when it breaks down.
pastorofmuppets
Ah, here we go: "On a microscopic piece of sand that floats through space is a fragment of a man's life. Left to rust is the place he lived in and the machines he used. Without use, they will disintegrate from the wind and the sand and the years that act upon them; all of Mr. Corry's machines—including the one made in his image, kept alive by love, but now obsolete in the Twilight Zone."


nemeses9
I didn't realize that those voices were dubbed over by some SA goons at first. Shame, finding it out killed all the funny in this video and just left the sad.
Lauritz Melchior
I couldn't make it through the gauntlet of personalities.

This is horrifying...
nemeses9
You realize they're fake and created by random people on SA/4chan right?

You can find the real video on YouTube which has the real "personalities" demonstrated. It's not much better though, honestly.

jangbones
"She has multiple personalities"

Wow, that thing IS just like a real woman
Louis Armstrong
This was a triumph.
I'm making a note here: HUGE SUCCESS.
It's hard to overstate my satisfaction.
Aperture Science
We do what we must
because we can.
For the good of all of us.
Except the ones who are dead.
But there's no sense crying over every mistake.
You just keep on trying till you run out of cake.
And the Science gets done.
And you make a neat gun.
For the people who are still alive.
I'm not even angry.
I'm being so sincere right now.
Even though you broke my heart.
And killed me.
And tore me to pieces.
And threw every piece into a fire.
As they burned it hurt because I was so happy for you!
Now these points of data make a beautiful line.
And we're out of beta.
We're releasing on time.
So I'm GLaD. I got burned.
Think of all the things we learned
for the people who are still alive.
Go ahead and leave me.
I think I prefer to stay inside.
Maybe you'll find someone else to help you.
Anyway, this cake is great.
It's so delicious and moist.

Louis Armstrong
Oh sexy GLADOS, when will you release the deadly neurotoxin.

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