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Desc:Or the two best martial arts techniques depending on your point of view.
Category:Educational, Stunts
Tags:martial arts, ninja, warrior, black ninja knife
Submitted:DK1987
Date:02/01/10
Views:2001
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Comment count is 28
EvilBakeOven
I remember those books, they're the reason I'm not a ninja.
revdrew
Both of these would be awesome Heat Actions for the next Yakuza game.
Riskbreaker
Even kazuma has his limits.

Cleaner82
"Maybe the worst martial art technique I've seen, of all time, is this. I'm a ninja."

That about covers it.

I did a lot of facepalming for such a short video, one star per facepalm.
Desidiosus
I think a better technique for the first one would just be to bludgeon your attacker into submission with your broken forearm.
Jellyneck
It doesn't matter how broken your forearms are. You'd only have to pull off that first move *once* and then nobody would ever fuck with you again.

Riskbreaker
The first technique would work only if you happen to be Riki-Oh.
Ghoul
Wait... its possible to break a baseball bat with my forearm? I've been trying to use my forehead this whole time!
memedumpster
What do you even call the second move? "Flamingo Changes the Channel?" "Raindrop Cuts A Bitch?"
Cleaner82
Shining God Spits In Your Eye

bongoprophet
those all sound like fellatio finishers to me

sparklefatty
One book move I recall was a scraping down the assailants shin with your foot and then stomping real hard on his instep. In the picture, the attacker is wincing in pain. In real life, I got my ass buffed.
Bozo
I'm going to go look for videos to submit with the Black Ninja Knife tag.
Camonk
So in other words this guy is a limp-dick intellectual who's reading books instead of kicking ass. Nice lisp, Stephen SeaGAY
Cleaner82
He says these are bad techniques and yet clearly the people who can pull them off are amazing fight gods. I dunno, maybe fight gods aren't good enough for Stephen Seagay.

pastorofmuppets
At least part of that is the accent. I'm a ninja, eh? I read all the books when they came oote.

spikestoyiu
Actually, he's a legit Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu black belt by the name of Stephan Kesting who makes a ton of loot selling videos and shit.

pastorofmuppets
Let go.
OgreMkIV
Did he lose the teeth to martial arts or hockey?
zatojones
Canadians are born with 30% fewer teeth than normal people

SixDigitDebt
The only martial art technique I know is rather simple to pull off. First, I crouch down low to the ground then begin to lean forward slowly. Then, when I have barely any momentum started I rise up and take a slight bit of forward motion right before throwing a punch. The desired speed of the effect is determined by how hard I throw that punch. Usually, it's one of three levels; weak, medium, and fierce. At this point, I shout something in Japanese and a glowy blue fireball is hurled from my outstretched hands towards my opponent.


Nikon
Stars.


Son of Slam
I'm not sure if it is from the same book as the last move, but one of those damn ninja books had an escape/evasion move where you sneak up behind the sentry, and tap him on one shoulder, while moving your head in the direction of the opposite one. The sentry will look in the direction of the tap side. Knowing he will then look toward the other side, you shift your weight to the first shoulder. Satisfied that nothing is going on, the sentry will then look straight forward, and you can continue on your skulking ways.
Bort
The remarkable thing about that technique is, even if performed correctly, it is no more effective than doing nothing at all.

jreid
For both of you.

Xiphias
five throwing stars
Hooper_X
I want an entire series of these. "Ridiculous Ninja Move of the Week."
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