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Desc:Or the two best martial arts techniques depending on your point of view.
Category:Educational, Stunts
Tags:martial arts, ninja, warrior, black ninja knife
Submitted:DK1987
Date:02/01/10
Views:2002
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Comment count is 28
EvilBakeOven - 2010-02-01
I remember those books, they're the reason I'm not a ninja.
revdrew - 2010-02-01
Both of these would be awesome Heat Actions for the next Yakuza game.
Riskbreaker - 2010-02-01
Even kazuma has his limits.

Cleaner82 - 2010-02-01
"Maybe the worst martial art technique I've seen, of all time, is this. I'm a ninja."

That about covers it.

I did a lot of facepalming for such a short video, one star per facepalm.
Desidiosus - 2010-02-01
I think a better technique for the first one would just be to bludgeon your attacker into submission with your broken forearm.
Jellyneck - 2010-02-02
It doesn't matter how broken your forearms are. You'd only have to pull off that first move *once* and then nobody would ever fuck with you again.

Riskbreaker - 2010-02-01
The first technique would work only if you happen to be Riki-Oh.
Ghoul - 2010-02-01
Wait... its possible to break a baseball bat with my forearm? I've been trying to use my forehead this whole time!
memedumpster - 2010-02-01
What do you even call the second move? "Flamingo Changes the Channel?" "Raindrop Cuts A Bitch?"
Cleaner82 - 2010-02-01
Shining God Spits In Your Eye

bongoprophet - 2010-02-01
those all sound like fellatio finishers to me

sparklefatty - 2010-02-01
One book move I recall was a scraping down the assailants shin with your foot and then stomping real hard on his instep. In the picture, the attacker is wincing in pain. In real life, I got my ass buffed.
Bozo - 2010-02-01
I'm going to go look for videos to submit with the Black Ninja Knife tag.
Camonk - 2010-02-01
So in other words this guy is a limp-dick intellectual who's reading books instead of kicking ass. Nice lisp, Stephen SeaGAY
Cleaner82 - 2010-02-01
He says these are bad techniques and yet clearly the people who can pull them off are amazing fight gods. I dunno, maybe fight gods aren't good enough for Stephen Seagay.

pastorofmuppets - 2010-02-01
At least part of that is the accent. I'm a ninja, eh? I read all the books when they came oote.

spikestoyiu - 2010-02-02
Actually, he's a legit Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu black belt by the name of Stephan Kesting who makes a ton of loot selling videos and shit.

pastorofmuppets - 2010-02-01
Let go.
OgreMkIV - 2010-02-01
Did he lose the teeth to martial arts or hockey?
zatojones - 2010-02-03
Canadians are born with 30% fewer teeth than normal people

SixDigitDebt - 2010-02-02
The only martial art technique I know is rather simple to pull off. First, I crouch down low to the ground then begin to lean forward slowly. Then, when I have barely any momentum started I rise up and take a slight bit of forward motion right before throwing a punch. The desired speed of the effect is determined by how hard I throw that punch. Usually, it's one of three levels; weak, medium, and fierce. At this point, I shout something in Japanese and a glowy blue fireball is hurled from my outstretched hands towards my opponent.


Nikon - 2010-02-02
Stars.

The Mothership - 2012-11-12
Stars.

Son of Slam - 2010-02-02
I'm not sure if it is from the same book as the last move, but one of those damn ninja books had an escape/evasion move where you sneak up behind the sentry, and tap him on one shoulder, while moving your head in the direction of the opposite one. The sentry will look in the direction of the tap side. Knowing he will then look toward the other side, you shift your weight to the first shoulder. Satisfied that nothing is going on, the sentry will then look straight forward, and you can continue on your skulking ways.
Bort - 2010-02-02
The remarkable thing about that technique is, even if performed correctly, it is no more effective than doing nothing at all.

jreid - 2010-02-02
For both of you.

Xiphias - 2010-02-04
five throwing stars
Hooper_X - 2010-03-16
I want an entire series of these. "Ridiculous Ninja Move of the Week."
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