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Desc:the Hug-e-gram
Category:Advertisements, Horror
Tags:creepy, Hug, gram, product
Submitted:Nagisaki
Date:02/03/10
Views:2883
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Comment count is 45
snothouse
FREE WHEN YOU ORDER: THE APPARENTLY DISAPPOINTING GIFT OF FLOWERS
The Townleybomb
They aren't disappointing. They're wooden!

cognitivedissonance
Men, women actually LIKE the repetitive gift of flowers. Believe it or not.

Women, tell us what you actually want or we'll get you this. You have to actually tell us, not hide it in a one-sided conversation held three months prior to the event. And 2 weeks is absolute maximum notice, we'd prefer exactly 42 hours ahead of the Valentine's Day event.
cognitivedissonance
Esprit d'escalier: This is a little too close to the Tim and Eric Boyfriend-at-Concert Arms.

Xiphias
AND WHAT'S THE DEAL WITH WOMEN WANTING YOU TO LEAVE THE TOILET SEAT DOWN

AM I RIGHT MEN

Hay Belly
New: One arm version for Fundies.
Hay Belly
gis fundies -- guess I'm missing out on life now that I no longer go into Spencer's.

Frank Rizzo
FLOWERS AGAIN? FUCK IM A JADED CUNT!!!
takewithfood
Don't send her flowers!

Order now and we'll send her flowers!

Frank Rizzo
...THAT LAST FOREVER!!

THA SUGAH RAIN
I think this product was denied on American Inventor or Shark Tank. Somehow the person made their dream come true.
Squiddy
I bet they had a failed Kickstarter fund, too.

Adham Nu'man
Bill Murray says "Happy Valentine's day honey, I love you"
rustin
It wasn't until the recorded message part that I realized this wasn't a joke.
BorrowedSolution
And it's a fetish in 3....2....1....zero!!!
Caminante Nocturno
I honestly can't wait for someone to strangle their lover to death with this thing.

You know it's going to happen.
kwash
Or somebody hangs themselves with it.

Either way, yeah inevitable.

freedoom
Wood does not last forever! if it lasts for more than 4 hours you need to call a doctor!
Stupid Lisa Garbage Face
Gifts from the lazy cheaters
Old_Zircon
Gifts from lazy stalkers.

BHWW
And then they come to life all at once and start strangling the tens of people who've ordered this product.
charmlessman
I WAS going to text her a cell phone pic of my boner, but apparently THIS is the most intimate gift ever.
Chalkdust
text? you mean like ASCII art?

-alternatively-

dick in an in-box?

TeenerTot
Actually, I would prefer the dick-in-a-box to this monstrosity.

charmlessman
ASCII art you say... This may be the winning vote.

oogaBooga
This makes songsmith look awesome.
dementomstie
I'd have to make the voice chip say something incredibly creepy. My first thought is whispering "I'm standing right behind you." Though I may go with the classic from John Oliver: "You're going to die alone in a dark room."
Camonk
And when you get hugged by the white gloves with three little lines on them, you can pretend it's Mickey Mouse OR Goofy, instead of your idiot boyfriend who bought this dumbass thing for you.
mouser
Next up: dildogram.
pastorofmuppets
Pretty sure this is the same background music (and inventor) as the treadmobile. Which, by the way, is definitely the worst product ever invented.
joelkazoo
That was an MST3K invention! Ripoff!

Sean Robinson
I am a multiple amputee veteran of the Gulf War, filled with self-loathing.

I am going to send this to my fucking ex-wide, with the recording: "ARE THESE MAN ENOUGH FOR YOU, WHORE?"
Syd Midnight
This would probably sound like an excellent idea if you were stoned.
Syd Midnight
UPDATE: No it doesn't

Midnight Man
These stars are for you, Syd.

(they're made of wood so they'll last forever)

ashtar.
This is possibly the funniest comment on poeTV.

dead_cat
WHAT
dead_cat
"Ha-hah! Yeah, that's uh... yeah, ok, that's, um, /funny/. OK, dear, now where's my real present? For the love of god, please don't say that was it."
chumbucket
if it doesn't vibrate it's a complete waste of money
Charles
THAT'S what's missing.

elm axo
I would like someone to send me a huge gram
Babies Ate My Dingo
Is that what happens when the sender supersizes the dick-in-a-box?

Old_Zircon
+stars
Tom Collins
I can imagine Chris Chan ordering a dozen of these and putting the Sonic one up sound on them, then wearing them all at once.
Cyberblah
agent orange was probably worse
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