splatterbabble 
You can surround her with the strength of your love... until she stops breathing.
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Charles
I saw this a week or two ago. Everything about it oozes creep. Even the "every kiss begins with kay *cling!*" at the end is a little off.
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charmlessman Well, because it sounds like it was sung by Bela Legosi.
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Desidiosus
I'm sure he also bought her a coffin of pure mahogany.
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RocketBlender
Wasn't that impressed at first, but I completely lost it at "and I always will be."
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Camonk
"Don't worry I'll protect you from God almighty himself with my worthless rock dug out of the dirt of Africa by an unpaid child laborer!"
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CapnJesusHood
Oh thank god that big strong man was there. With loud noises about and no one's arms to flounce into, who knows what tragedy might befall a helpless middle-aged woman.
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memedumpster
Dammit!!! I wanted to make the joke "Where are they staying, blah blah blah blah blah?" and reference that psycho killer remake movie about the woman who goes to something bay/cove/reef whatever and gets boned by that psycho guy.
I hate it when I can't remember the title of a movie. ARGH.
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Camonk "Every movie ever" That's what you were thinking of
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memedumpster "Where are they staying, every movie ever?"
You know, that actually works better than Cape Fear.
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BHWW
Hey now, this is actually a wonderful ad - if you're the sort of person who thinks The Police's "Every Breath You Take" is a charmingly romantic song.
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cognitivedissonance
The diamond is eternal, like your dead body in my chest freezer.
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Goethe and ernie
If you leave me I will kill you and the kids have some diamonds honey
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Hooker
Ma'am, the call is coming from INSIDE YOUR BOYFRIEND!
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DrawSixBD
I can imagine going to the jewelers for that one.
"Which setting says 'Its not that I don't love you, its that I more in love with the idea of you chained up in my basement."
Also...should've gone to Jarred.
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Timothy A. Bear
'Ring as imprisonment device' animation is a nice touch.
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Billie_Joe_Buttfuck
rape diamonds
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Caminante Nocturno
Diamond commercials are, by their very nature, some of the most offensive things on TV.
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