charmlessman 
Canadians. America's mellower little brother who everybody's friends with, but no one talks about.
Canada is Luke Wilson.
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charmlessman Luke is younger and more bland. Owen is older, has a broken nose, suicidal tendencies and does big, dumb action movies.
Owen - America
Luke - Canada
Andrew - Greenland
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oogaBooga I loved the part in the Haunting where he got his head knocked off by the chimney majigger.
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delicatessen
Oh, so that's what that thing up there is.
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Smellvin
He forgot Canada's raging, bitter inferiority complex/penis (Florida) envy. Of course, he also forgot to mention Canada's massive fresh water resources, that they call the electric bill "hydro," and get milk in a bag.
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Midnight Man rushing to declare another's flaws at any mention of them on the other hand is the surest sign of confidence and self-worth
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Rape Van Winkle He's a sensitive Canadian man, when I thought he was only a midnight man.
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Rape Van Winkle I had a Canadian girlfriend. She was a bitch.
Fuck you, Canada.
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jreid
As a Canadian, I must say Tom did a top-notch job there.
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Urist
finally.. Canada's 6 minutes and 16 seconds of fame...
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Urist Anne Murray and k.d. Lang
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HP Lovesauce If KD and Anne gave Baltimore, Boise, Detroit and Medesto a superiority complex they've certainly earned their money.
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dueserpenti
I love you, Canada.
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grimcity
Canada is that really awesome cousin that lives out of town, but every time yo hook up with him he smokes you up. What up, cuz!
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delicatessen Also it's where everyone's imaginary girlfriend lives.
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The Townleybomb
NOW EXPLAIN A BETTER COUNTRY.
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Aoi How can he explain that which does not exist?
Ohhhhhh snap.
(Did I do that right? The vernacular of urban youth often eludes my comprehension.)
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SixDigitDebt
We'll forgive you for Bill O'Reilly now. ;)
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socialist_hentai
Sold! Where do I sign up?
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Suedeo
Canada is my favorite nation.
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Knuckles
That Peace Arch thing is pretty cool and all but I don't think closing those gates would do very much
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Sudan no1
"90% of Canadians live within 100 miles of the US border" HA HA THEY WANNA BE US SO BAD!
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SixDigitDebt Sorry, what was that? I couldn't hear you over my health care benefits.
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HP Lovesauce It's only because you're blocking the way the equator. Trust me, we like the separation, if there wasn't border already we'd make one.
That said I like a lot of you guys. I enjoy your New York City, Washington State and Hawaii. The states worth living in all very friendly, funny that.
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Billie_Joe_Buttfuck
And we smell better than you, too.
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memedumpster
Canada has the Highway of Heroes. We have the Tea Party.
God damn you, Canada, God loves you best.
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MrBuddy When you're staring at a bikini babe you don't point out her stretch marks. Canada is a great place but there is a dark side that a lot of people would like to forget. Canada hasn't always treated non-white minorities as well as it should have.
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Billie_Joe_Buttfuck Yeah, while we've never actually had a civil war over the issue, early Canadian treatments of any non-whites was pretty much appauling - and we still pretty much treat our natives in gross fashion. Look up Oka or Caledonia. Oka was only in 93, Caledonia was as recent as 2006.
Look up the Oka Crisis, or the Grand River Land Dispute. Canada can be pretty fucking gross.
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Wonko the Sane Bille Joe: while it wasn't very big, look up the red river rebellion
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Billie_Joe_Buttfuck Yes, the Metis people under Louis Riel did also rise up in 1869, with help from people like Gabriel Dumont, Poundmaker, and Big Bear. I just figured references to something happening recently might be a little more engaging.
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CharlesSmith I don't want to get into a fight about this, but I ask you to name a single other country that would have handled the Caledonia land crisis better than, or even as well as, Canada. I'm not claiming the response was perfect, but considering the circumstances it was better than any other likely response from any other nation I can think of.
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MaulLove
You rock Canada.
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megaspy2000
america's got a fine hat
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Shalrath
"Remember, Canada was a British Colony."
/facepalm
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Hooper_X
America: Fuck Yeah.
Canada: How Aboot That, Eh?
(Seriously, the story beginning at 3:24 is incredibly awesome. The Canadian embassy set up with the CIA to put together an entire fake film production. They bought the rights to a Roger Zelazny novel, got Jack fucking Kirby to do a bunch of concept art on spec, even put together press conferences with a fake cast and director to make it look more legitimate.)
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