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Desc:Douchey McDoucherson of For the Record, before he hit his stride.
Category:Religious, Horror
Tags:insanity, for the record, Pure and Simple, Christian Supremacy, Douchey McDoucherson
Submitted:What about the Danger
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Comment count is 24
ztc - 2010-02-24
This is an asshole looking for a human being to attach himself to
socialist_hentai - 2010-02-24
"-Superman is the greatest!
-Nuh uh! Superman gave Batman the Kryptonite to kill him in case he ever went AWOL again! See? Even Superman thinks Batman's the greatest!
-Nuh uh Flash is the greatest when he can tap in the Speedforce!
-Xavier could like totally melt their brains before they knew what was happening!"

Theology in a nutshell. Applying comic book nerd logic to ancient myths.
oddeye - 2010-02-24
I completely agree, Professor X could murder all those people before they knew what hit them. HOWEVER there are defenses against mental attacks and knowing batman he probably has his brain secretly shielded by his cowl.

The most powerful non-cosmic entity on paper is surely Magneto. Couldn't he, in theory, move entire planets?

Plus his car requires no fuel.

pastorofmuppets - 2010-02-24
The difference is that comic book nerds know they're dealing with fiction.

dead_cat - 2010-02-24
That's entirely dependent on whether his opponent has a wooden gun.

memedumpster - 2010-02-24
He obviously didn't read the motherfucking sermon on the goddamned motherfucking mount.
What about the Danger - 2010-02-24
What a nice gentlemanly southern accent that man used to have. I wonder what happened to it.
oogaBooga - 2010-02-24
"I didn't have enough faith to become an atheist."

My, my. Somebody thinks they're clever.
socialist_hentai - 2010-02-24
That's one of banana-guy's favorite soundbites. This guy is like a perfect storm of stupid.

Camonk - 2010-02-24
It's actually really common, even amongst non-Christians and religious people.

I like the gun on the shelf behind him. Oh this guy is basically solid gold.

phalsebob - 2010-02-24
He will never pick up a gun for anything but target shooting, despite all his supremacist and revolution bullshit. I know a loudmouth chickenhawk when I see one.

humbert_humbert - 2010-02-24
Wow. That must be the worst reason to have become a Christian ever. He should have a 10 minute conversation with a Judeo-Christian historian.
phalsebob - 2010-02-24
If some guy in a robe can't win him over through rhetoric, I don't see what a bunch of stupid historical facts are going to do.

Kieran27 - 2010-02-24
So many things that strike me as too unbelievable in this, but if I had to choose my favourite it's the bit about "Would Jesus lie? Was he the only way, or was he not? There's no other way to look at it."

Um... okay, what if he was deluded? Was speaking metaphorically? The passage you read was made up by the person who wrote it?

I sometimes wonder if people like this offer only two choices because that's how many hands they can gesture with.
bac - 2010-02-24
I didn't know who this guy was. I thought all of that was a joke until the end.
Kieran27 - 2010-02-24
Apparently his name is Jason "Molotov" Mitchell. And he has the word "Zealot" tattooed on his right forearm.

facek - 2010-02-24
Wow, this guy didn't read any of the books he's speaking of.
TeenerTot - 2010-02-24
"Let me talk to my teacher and get back to you" is polite code for "Geez, you're an asshole. I'm going away from you now."

Macho Nacho - 2010-02-24
Why is it that most Reborn Christians are nuts?
Ocyrus - 2010-02-24
He was always a christian, he just dabbled around with other ideas for a bit before returning to his roots. He may claim otherwise, but we can see the lies in the way that the christian dialectic influences his speech patterns and his formation of idea structure and expressiveness from an inherently paternalistic theological position.
I'd like to show him Jain supremacy.
pastorofmuppets - 2010-02-24
i'd like to show him my sack

Scrotum H. Vainglorious - 2010-02-24
Venomfang X times ten.
pastorofmuppets - 2010-02-24
"eventually science caught up to that"

I think I know what he means by this, so I'll translate.

Basically, crazy Hellenistic notions like a round earth began to disappear as Christian theologians adopted some Platonic ideas and then later purged them from the West. In the years followed, Europe floundered and people looked for answers from a body that took everything they had and then gave them those answers in Latin.

Finally the humanism and renewed interest in Hellenistic studies that emerged in the Renaissance gave way to Enlightenment ideals and the the formal methods of inquiry we call science. Science hasn't been kind to religions that feature creation myths, and in general only gets trotted out by the hyper-religious to show why *other* religions are false.
Potrod - 2010-02-28
I cannot believe that people have apparently not gotten tired of watching stupid religious people say stupid things. This is not entertaining at all.
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