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Desc:OH SHIII-
Category:Military, Business
Tags:Vampires, abraham lincoln
Submitted:teenage mutant lisa turtle
Date:03/04/10
Views:1235
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Comment count is 30
Nikon
Sold!
Riskbreaker
I'm there.
BIlly Mays Here
Calling it: Ninjas, pirates, or Cthulhu show up later on because that's just SO RANDOM XD
MrBuddy
Oh wow. I saw this in the book section of Costco just a few hours ago.
duck&cover
Where's the Amazing Screw-on Head when you need him?
dickshapedfood
For some reason, Abraham Lincoln always makes me want to break out my vibrator and go at it.
Sundry
Is your vibrator painted to look like a Lincoln Log?

oogaBooga
What, really?
Rodents of Unusual Size
When you throw in the time machine and showing up on Mars to a small boy, Abe Lincoln had a hell of a life.
MongoMcMichael
THATS NO VAMPIRE IT DONT SPARKLE
Jet Bin Fever
I hope this is just "Manhunt" with added vampire combat scenes.
cognitivedissonance
See, he kills the vampires by using his time machine to go back in time to meet the first vampire, who he kills, thus ending the chain of vampire procreation preemptively.

In this scenario, Lincoln is played by Joe Flaherty, and Dracula is played by Dave Foley.
Jaguar Wong
Not very interesting compared to his actual life, but it's nice to see a hack author found a gimmick that won't start a cult. I guess.
egglab
supposedly tim burton is working on a movie version of this. http://io9.com/5484213/tim-burton-and-timur-bekmambetov-to-make-ab raham-lincoln-vampire-hunter
TeenerTot
Tim Burton has to ruin everything.

Camonk
Tim Burton is to movies as Neil Gaiman is to books.

Honest Abe
oh no tim burton is going to ruin your precious hack job dork book

theSnake
This is the type of retarded "random" shit that a bunch of SA goons would think is awesome. Hey lets set it in a Steampunk world and add some monkey pirate ninjas so wacky lool
theSnake
Also this is a direct ripoff of Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter, so its not even original dumb bullshit

Hooper_X
It's also probably not nearly as good as Tales from the Bully Pulpit, which featured a time-traveling Teddy Roosevelt and the ghost of Thomas Edison fighting Nazis on Mars.

teenage mutant lisa turtle
I don't think you get it it, see Abraham Lincoln kills zombies in this book.

Paracelsus
Sort of like a joke battle from a Zucker movie.

So let me get this straight. The real guy is a true hero, saves the country, changes it forever for better or worse, overcomes multiple deaths in the family, cruel depression, and an insane wife (not to mention the homicidal stupidity of half the country and the insipid hatred of his own cabinet) to become the greatest American president bar none. No, that's not cool enough. How unbelievably fucking stupid. Why not give him godzilla breath and have lasers shoot out his eyes for chrissakes.

Iron Xides
Why not make him twelve stories high and made of radiation?

Hooper_X
If this were Teddy Roosevelt, Master of Dragons, I might just be interested.
dododge
How about Daniel Boone, Master of Dragons?

http://www.sfsite.com/10b/dm210.htm

Timothy A. Bear
Nice idea, another bad Lincoln. The real Lincoln an awkward, hunched over, high pitched geek who won you over with his intelligence and eloquence. This is just some tall guy wearing a beard.
Honest Abe
no
Hooper_X
I'm glad you disapprove, Mr. President.

athodyd
I was about to give this extra stars for execution, but would you give the Nazis extra stars for efficient gas chamber design? That's right, this joke is as bad as the Holocaust.
Pillager
Sure I would.

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