al k duh      you'd think with this guy's dashing good looks and storytelling skills, he'd be swimming in the pussy.
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notascientist He thought he was, but it turned out he was just swimming *around* it.
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ztc wintermute, eh?
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dementomstie how can a guy who uses a screen name in reference to Neuromancer NOT be getting MAAAAAD pussy? I know with my screen name, with references to both comedy music and sci-fi puppetry I have to hire people to keep The Ladies at bay.
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pastorofmuppets There was nothing in that string of uncomfortable swearing and Spinal Tap references that made me think he isn't the person he claims to be.
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Shanghai Tippytap      christ i love the internet
"HEY EVERYONE, I'M A FUCKING MESS"
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wtf japan      Well, he came pretty close.
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retrocious      Wait, never mind his virgin story, did he just call a bottle of Heineken "yeyo"?
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boner      This American Life youtube edition
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TeenerTot      What is it with nerds who have to prove they're old enough to drink on camera? Buddy, nobody's mistaking you for a spring chicken.
Stars for the completely crushed soul at the end.
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pastorofmuppets On top of it, there's an awfully suspicious cut right before he drinks it.
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oddeye Even if it turned out that he did have sex, it still would have been ONCE, 20 odd years ago.
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Billie_Joe_Buttfuck      Awwwww... last few seconds are heartbreaking.
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kwash      dude just shut up and get to the point where you've never had sex
also, this gets really depressing
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phalsebob      So I said to her... y'kow, ah... errg blUUurgh... I'm an alcoholic.
It's ok buddy, you're still better than Glenn Beck.
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chumbucket      does the 12 step system cover being able to comprehend whether you ever had sex or not? feels like this guy just curled up in his green bottle and never came out
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TimidAres      Woah, thats some heavy silence at the end, you could cut the tension with a digital knife.
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Scrotum H. Vainglorious      TFL
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Riskbreaker      How the hell does somebody goes on life not knowing if they had sex or not? Where they both covered in blankets the whole time?
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TimidAres I asked myself the same thing, how could you NOT know you were, erm, penetrating someone?
Or does this guy not know about the birds and the bees.
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zerobackup      The first 4 minutes are kinda cute, in a bumbling "I'll bet he smells like egg salad all the time" sorta way. Then the last minute gets serious. Really, really serious.
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revdrew This video is at least two years old, so he may be dead by now.
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aeso      5 for managing to masturbate with a vagina.
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delicatessen      If this is fake then it's awesome and it makes me happy
If it's real then it's not awesome and it makes me miserable
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Old_Zircon I have no doubt in my mind that there are a whole lot of people like him out there.
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oogaBooga      I think you're missing the point - he totally CAME. And a contact with a REAL LIVE VAGINA was involved.
You're totally not a virgin, guy!
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zerobackup He got to like 6th base. Still, no penis going in = virgin
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flotsam      Who talks about this stuff in a grocery store? (I'm assuming that's where he saw her.) Five stars for the soul crushing sadness, and for picturing those two talking in hushed whispers.
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Urkel Forever      I was imaging how the lady in question must have had different stages of horror.
1. Oh, it is that guy! *slightly awkward but interested*
2. Hmm. He smells bad. *still somewhat interested but steps a few steps back*
3. He sure hasn't been doing anything with his life. *Smelly loser. I need get moving*
4. "HEY U R ONLY PERSON I EVER HAVE SEX WITH LET ME BRING THIS UP IN THE GROCERY STORE" *call the police*
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Johnny Madhouse      This made me feel terrible. Poor guy.
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divinitycycle      This right here is why I come to Poe TV!
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kennydra      this belongs here.
and this guy needs a hug.
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craptacular      fived for the last twenty seconds. that was just... well, i'll cut and paste from the Mike Rowe's Testicle Story page:
anagnorisis [an‐ag‐nor‐ĭs‐is] (plural ‐ises), the Greek word for ‘recognition’ or ‘discovery’, used by Aristotle in his Poetics to denote the turning point in a drama at which a character (usually the protagonist) recognizes the true state of affairs, having previously been in error or ignorance.
"A tragedy is that moment, when the hero comes face to face with his true identity."
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Stopheles      I remembered while watching this video that XTC's album SKYLARKING was playing on the stereo when I lost my virginity.
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hammsangwich      I remember my first beer.
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joelkazoo      Heineken?...FUCK THAT SHIT!....PABST BLUE RIBBON!
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