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Desc:He was thinking 'At least I had that.'
Category:Horror, Humor
Tags:virgin, 40 year old virgin, unexpected surprise, 7Rorschach7, wintermute007
Submitted:notascientist
Date:03/05/10
Views:3034
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Comment count is 55
al k duh
you'd think with this guy's dashing good looks and storytelling skills, he'd be swimming in the pussy.
notascientist
He thought he was, but it turned out he was just swimming *around* it.

ztc
wintermute, eh?
dementomstie
how can a guy who uses a screen name in reference to Neuromancer NOT be getting MAAAAAD pussy? I know with my screen name, with references to both comedy music and sci-fi puppetry I have to hire people to keep The Ladies at bay.

OldScratch
I'm thinking this guy is kind of a genius. Check out his other videos - http://www.youtube.com/user/7Rorschach7#p

'I haz Cricket Bat Bitches' pretty much gives the game away right from the top.

pastorofmuppets
There was nothing in that string of uncomfortable swearing and Spinal Tap references that made me think he isn't the person he claims to be.

Shanghai Tippytap
christ i love the internet

"HEY EVERYONE, I'M A FUCKING MESS"
revdrew
At least he had the sense to pull it. Unfortunately embarrassments like this never truly die on YouTube.

fatatty
A constant window in to lives of people who make your life seem so much brighter than you may have thought.


pastorofmuppets
Unless it doesn't, in which case you're screwed.

Shanghai Tippytap
afterthought:
einmal ist keinmal

oddeye
Everyone on youtube has a better life than me.

wtf japan
Well, he came pretty close.
wtf japan
And yes, I meant that literally.

retrocious
Wait, never mind his virgin story, did he just call a bottle of Heineken "yeyo"?
boner
This American Life youtube edition
TeenerTot
What is it with nerds who have to prove they're old enough to drink on camera? Buddy, nobody's mistaking you for a spring chicken.

Stars for the completely crushed soul at the end.
pastorofmuppets
On top of it, there's an awfully suspicious cut right before he drinks it.

oddeye
Even if it turned out that he did have sex, it still would have been ONCE, 20 odd years ago.
Billie_Joe_Buttfuck
Awwwww... last few seconds are heartbreaking.
kwash
dude just shut up and get to the point where you've never had sex

also, this gets really depressing
phalsebob
So I said to her... y'kow, ah... errg blUUurgh... I'm an alcoholic.


It's ok buddy, you're still better than Glenn Beck.
chumbucket
does the 12 step system cover being able to comprehend whether you ever had sex or not? feels like this guy just curled up in his green bottle and never came out
TimidAres
Woah, thats some heavy silence at the end, you could cut the tension with a digital knife.
Scrotum H. Vainglorious
TFL
Riskbreaker
How the hell does somebody goes on life not knowing if they had sex or not? Where they both covered in blankets the whole time?
Smellvin
I would hypothesize alcohol.

themilkshark
His typical first experience with a lady wasn't supposed to be the ONLY time he ever hooked up... He decided to check sex off his list of shit to accomplish and moved onto the next item: destroying his liver.

TimidAres
I asked myself the same thing, how could you NOT know you were, erm, penetrating someone?

Or does this guy not know about the birds and the bees.

Rafiki
You don't understand because you're being way too charitable in your imagination. Picture his ex-girlfriend in your head. Now keep adding pounds until it makes sense.

Riskbreaker
Jesus.....now i see.

Cleaner82
Oh... oh no.

Oh no no no.

wtf japan
I think that's a bingo!

Old_Zircon
Oh.



OH.

Lauritz Melchior
Oh my...

I was wondering, too.

CIWB
The horror of this video has two parts: 1.) the video itself, and 2.) Rafiki's answer to the question we're all thinking about.

zerobackup
The first 4 minutes are kinda cute, in a bumbling "I'll bet he smells like egg salad all the time" sorta way. Then the last minute gets serious. Really, really serious.
Cleaner82
It's like looking at a ghost. I wouldn't be surprised if this guy was no longer with us in five years.

Chilled the hell out of me.

revdrew
This video is at least two years old, so he may be dead by now.

aeso
5 for managing to masturbate with a vagina.
delicatessen
If this is fake then it's awesome and it makes me happy

If it's real then it's not awesome and it makes me miserable


Old_Zircon
I have no doubt in my mind that there are a whole lot of people like him out there.

oogaBooga
I think you're missing the point - he totally CAME. And a contact with a REAL LIVE VAGINA was involved.

You're totally not a virgin, guy!
zerobackup
He got to like 6th base. Still, no penis going in = virgin

flotsam
Who talks about this stuff in a grocery store? (I'm assuming that's where he saw her.) Five stars for the soul crushing sadness, and for picturing those two talking in hushed whispers.
Urkel Forever
I was imaging how the lady in question must have had different stages of horror.

1. Oh, it is that guy! *slightly awkward but interested*

2. Hmm. He smells bad. *still somewhat interested but steps a few steps back*

3. He sure hasn't been doing anything with his life. *Smelly loser. I need get moving*

4. "HEY U R ONLY PERSON I EVER HAVE SEX WITH LET ME BRING THIS UP IN THE GROCERY STORE" *call the police*

Johnny Madhouse
This made me feel terrible. Poor guy.
nemeses9
Same. I didn't get any laughs out of this, just saddening pity.

:(


divinitycycle
This right here is why I come to Poe TV!
kennydra
this belongs here.

and this guy needs a hug.
craptacular
fived for the last twenty seconds. that was just... well, i'll cut and paste from the Mike Rowe's Testicle Story page:

anagnorisis [an‐ag‐nor‐ĭs‐is] (plural ‐ises), the Greek word for ‘recognition’ or ‘discovery’, used by Aristotle in his Poetics to denote the turning point in a drama at which a character (usually the protagonist) recognizes the true state of affairs, having previously been in error or ignorance.

"A tragedy is that moment, when the hero comes face to face with his true identity."
Stopheles
I remembered while watching this video that XTC's album SKYLARKING was playing on the stereo when I lost my virginity.
hammsangwich
I remember my first beer.
joelkazoo
Heineken?...FUCK THAT SHIT!....PABST BLUE RIBBON!
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